Sunday, October 11, 2009

Sunday afternoon.

It took some courage to put those collages up yesterday. I had made them a few years ago and not with the idea in mind that I would ever show them publicly. I think they are good and I always had them hanging in the living room, until recently when they moved to my bedroom, but because I like them, it doesn't automatically mean that other people will like them as well. You can be quite taken with your own work and it still can have no meaning to another person.

Anyway, I got up early this morning and made a drawing that is a prototype for a painting that I'm going to make at creative therapy. My inspiration for it was an artist called Lori Rase Hall, who was brought to my attention by Friend of the Bear. Her paintings are fabulous and so colorful and vivid that I wish they were mine and I would very much like to have her imagination. Another artist who was brought to my attention is Rachel Olsen and she is great, you really need to look at her work. She's another one who is very inspiring. I can do no work like it ever. She's that good.

I made another drawing, that's also a prototype for a painting, that I made up myself. I think I will make that one second after the Lori Hall one.I'm quite excited about making them, but at the same time I have a bit of trepidation, because I'm moving out of my comfort zone. It's just a little bit nerve wrecking and when I go to work on it tomorrow, I will have a healthy amount of anxiety, but I've got the steps planned on how to go about it.

After I made the drawings and spent some time behind the computer and walked the dog, I went back to bed and slept until noontime. It was wonderful and I feel very well rested now. I'm dealing with the anxiety, that I feel so often, by doubling up on my tranquilizers, something which I will discuss with my psychiatrist when I see him tomorrow. I want more than anything to feel relaxed and it is so awful when you feel like a hunted animal that is constantly alert. The tranquilizers give me a feeling of peace, which I have been lacking lately, and I am not heroic enough to get this feeling on my own. As long as I don't turn into a dull Jane, I'm not concerned. It does take a lot to get me down and out.

It's raining again, as it has been on and off for the past few days. I can't walk the dog, but he has enormous bladder control and he can always go out back. He won't want to, though, if it's raining, because he hates to get wet.

The Exfactor was here yesterday and was kind enough to go to the store for me to get the things that I needed for the weekend. He is such a good helper, I don't know what I'd do without him. Yes, I would go to the store myself with all the consequences that come with it, but right now I can only go to safe places, although now that I've doubled up on the tranquilizers, maybe more places will be safe. believe that and I'll sell you the Brooklyn Bridge and a nice piece of land in Florida. Guaranteed to be swamp free.

I have some pots with soil and no plants in them standing outside and in two of them, little trees have started to grow. I don't know what kind they are yet, but they look like they are going to be big trees. These are not small decorative trees, so I'll have to keep trimming them. I like that so much. Mother nature gives me these things for free. I wish things would start to grow in the other pots as well, but I'll have to plant something in them next year.

Well, that's all the talking I have to do for now. I'm sure there will be more at a later time today, you never know! I always do have the need to keep expressing myself, even if I have nothing important to say. I'm going to draw and paint now. That will keep me out of trouble.



Maggie May said...

Norah, you are a very gifted lady and like most artists have a very sensitive temperament to go with your gift.
The two seem to go hand in hand, I think.
Looking back at your first brightly coloured paintings, I think you have a definite style( that I like). Almost primitive but clever. Hasn't your therapist or anyone else told you how good they are?
Try and lose the fear that you have, in the paintings as many an artist has done in the past.
You said you wanted your paintings to be happy (and lots of them are) but don't strive for happiness in your paintings if you don't feel happy. Let other emotions come out too.
Hope you are having bright, dry weather as we are. X

Nuts in May

Gail said...

You have talent leaking out of every pore. We have enjoyed your very entertaining writing skills now you have shown us your artistic side.
I wish I had a third of your talent and I would be happy.
Keep up the artisic creations. I know I shall read of a showing one of these days.

Friend of the Bear said...

Hi Nora. Glad you had the courage to put your collages and paintings up for us to see. And I'm happy the artist was such an inspiration to you. I don't know how I knew she was for you, but I certainly wouldn't have known if you hadn't put your own work up. I only found her myself yesterday so there is some sort of synchronicity going on!

And I'm sure that your art work in its turn will inspire others too.

So sorry to hear that the anxiety has been bad today. I know it's been difficult recently. Do you think you are still shaken by Jesker's recent illness?

I think it's pretty amazing that you are able to carry on creating, writing and painting, even when you feel that way. And even when you're having to take double the usual tablets. I truly don't know how you do it, with such consistency as well.

You could always try sticking some cuttings in the pots for free plants.

Hope you are nice and sound asleep by now!

Best wishes,
Bearfriend xx

John M. Mora said...


Anonymous said...

I have one word for you today: "Bravo!"

Maureen said...

Ha! Mother Nature's gifts... the very best ones, no? What a nice surprise.