Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Later when I should be going to bed...
I have been sitting here very cozily reading blogs and comments and commenting on blogs myself. I have a keyboard that I'm not happy with, as they keys are hard to push down and feel as if they get stuck half way down, so they don't move smoothly. It is very frustrating, because very often I think I have typed a letter when I have not, or I have typed it twice, because I wanted to make sure I typed it at all. So what I need to do is buy a new keyboard as soon as I have some extra money. I know they aren't that expensive, so I'll go to some mega computer store and get one there.
I was busy getting ready to go this morning at 9 AM and 5 minutes later the phone rang. It was my SPN wondering where I was and I said that I was getting ready for our appointment at 10 AM, but she said our appointment had been for 9 AM. Oops. So we made it a telephone appointment instead and that worked halfway decently also.
I wanted to make one thing very clear to her and that was that since the increase in my antipsychotic medication, I feel more normal than I usually do. I feel more normal than I do at any other given time. There are no gray areas, no border areas in which I think a mood can go either way and when I am in doubt about myself as to what my feelings are doing with me. I feel much more solid about myself and steady as a whole and not so rocky like I have a tendency to feel sometimes. It's like I have smooth sailing now all day long and I sleep much better too.
She asked me a lot of questions, trying to get a handle on my current mood, and I answered them as truthfully as I could and I was very up front about it and she decided that I should stay on the increased dose for a while longer, unless I start feeling depressed, which can be a side effect from it. I think I made a good case for myself, but now I realize that maybe she thinks I am still a little bit overconfident. A little bit too sure of myself and she wants to make sure that this is a true stable mood and not an effect of hypomania.
We'll see. It's true, that despite the horrid weather, I do have a little bit of springtime in my head and I am already leaving the wintertime behind me, in spite of the fact that there was a snow flurry this afternoon. The rest of the time it has been raining buckets and I have been unable to go out and buy the Exfactor his birthday present and his birthday is tomorrow. Somehow, I have to find time to buy it between my ergo therapy and taking the Überhund to the dog salon to have his haircut and bath. The Exfactor is coming over in the afternoon and I do want to have time to wrap his present properly.
I think I need to start planning things better and not leave them to the last moment, because there are always elements that are beyond my control. Like I always get my medicines refilled when I am down to the last tablet and then have to make sure a new prescription is faxed on time to the pharmacy and it is all done correctly and not for the wrong medicine like it was the other day. I take 6 kinds of medication for my disability and sometimes it is hard to keep all the medicines straight for the secretary who takes the phone messages and gets them mixed up.
I had to take the Überhund out between showers and sometimes he had to wait a while and sometimes we just had to go in the rain. At least when it wasn't pouring straight down from the heavens. He walks as close to the houses as he can, hoping not to get wet, peeing against the walls, which I am sure the home owners wouldn't be too happy about if they knew. Can you blame him, though? The cats don't seem to go out at all, but they also don't go on the litter box, so I guess they do go out, but save it up for in between the rare dry spells between the showers.
I did a good job cleaning house today. I didn't get everything done that I wanted to, but what I did, I did well. I swept all the rooms and vacuumed the chairs and wiped the sofa with a damp cloth, which took the dog hair of. It's made of the kind of material that seems to attract dog hair and doesn't vacuum off well. It just moves it back and forth it seems. It is very frustrating. I took photographs of my collages, but when I went to download them to the computer, the camera didn't work and now I'm recharging the batteries in the hope that that is the problem.
I also did a load of laundry, but I enjoy doing laundry always. I don't know why that is, maybe because they are all my clothes and I care about them. I washed the dishes, which I only need to do every other day. I enjoy doing the dishes also.
The new plants I bought are doing well. I gave them all a good soaking when I got them home and let them drain well and now they have all perked up and are looking good. I will not water them again until the soil starts to feel dry. Then I'll soak them and let them drain well again. I figure that's like getting a good rain shower to them.
Now I'll go to bed. I have to get up on time to go to ergo therapy in the morning.
I'll talk to you soon.