Wednesday, February 04, 2009

Firstly...


Firstly, feeling extremely selfish, I will not sit down yet and go to my Google reader and see what blogs there are to read, but instead attack the keyboard and pedantically write down my own words first as is befitting of one who pays attention to the minute details of her every day life. Greedily I take the opportunity to fill this space with talk of my own and the pleasure of putting down my own notions regardless of those which other people have written with so much effort of their own. That will come later. To begin with I'll tell you my own words first. I feel the longing for that. I need to see myself talk.

It's been a most pleasant day, my mood has been as constant as a rock in the undertow. I have been all peace and tranquility, as is befitting a steady and sturdy rock. I have had neither highs nor lows, just an even tempered frame of mind. It doesn't mean I felt no emotions, au contraire, I felt them quite pleasantly and rightfully so and if I felt like disagreeing, I did so quite openly as well, but with restraint.

Ergo therapy was the usual instructive three hours that it always is. You learn so much from listening to other people talk about their problems and listening to the therapist explain the processes to them and from you putting your own 2 cents worth into it. There is recognition and there is impatience at seeing the other person make mistakes that you made 6 months ago. You have to remember that it is a process and that it takes time to go through, but you want to rush them along and get them to the point where you are. The point of self acceptance and self acknowledgment. You see people get angry at themselves, because they can't do the things they used to do so easily and not give themselves credit for what they still are able to do. It's a big puzzlement to them. They want to be able to do everything again now this minute and hate themselves when they can't.

Then it started to snow again and it snowed off an on again all afternoon, but just very little of it stayed on the ground. It did spoil my plans to go to the grocery store, so now I am drinking coffee without milk in it, which is rather mouth puckering. I will have to go first thing tomorrow morning as soon as it is dry.

The book I ordered arrived in the mail this afternoon and I very cozily started reading it in the armchair, where I had my coffee and ashtray within easy reach and I did not fall asleep. This was due to my very upright position. There was no sliding into a more comfortable sleeping position. The book is very good so far and I am enjoying it. I would enjoy it more if I had milk in my coffee, but alas. I must get through the bitterness.

It may come as a surprise to you, but I find myself not at all in the mood for sitting behind the computer any longer and I think I will turn on the television and see if I can watch any good programs. Doubtlessly, I will be more in the mood tomorrow morning, so I will see you all then.

Have a good evening, don't slip on the icy slush.

Ciao...

7 comments:

Maggie May said...

You know what they say, "A little bit of what you fancy does you good" so watch away.....
Glad you got on well in the ergo therapy and that you are feeling better.
Sleep well...... but not on the sofa!
X

Stacie said...

Sometimes I don't want to do anything I usually "like to do." Right now I have put down the quilting and the knitting...just not into it. I have problems with depression and sometimes, doing something a little mindless like watching tv is so relaxing for my overloaded brain. I don't necessarily feel better but it is better than the alternative: beating myself up for...well you fill in the blank because I've beat myself senseless for it. Just breathe.

Frances said...

hugs

The Finely Tuned Woman said...

Maggie - Sometimes you fancy something else than the usual fare and you like to turn things upside down a bit and do them in the wrong order. Today is one of those days also and it makes me feel good. Big hug. xox

Stacie - Beating yourself over the head is painful and only helps if you stop doing it because you've earned a lesson from it. Otherwise, don't do it at all. Your poor precious head, after all. Big hug. xox

Frances - Big hug to you too and many kisses.

Elaine said...

Oooh, an armchair and a good book sounds like a wonderful idea.

The slush, thankfully, is no more. I'm proud of myself for managing to stay upright on the ice for so long :)

Tessa said...

Too cold. Can't paint. So will follow your example and curl up with a good book. Happy reading to both of us!!

Maureen said...

Ah a good book nd a mug of coffee... what could be better? I finally bought myself two books I wanted; Twilight and the sequel, New Moon. I want to know what all the fuss is about. Now I need to pry time out of my schedule to relax and read. I also bought two non-fiction books recently, on grammar. They are not boring though; they both are humourous takes on writing styles. I enjoy those. Well, take care... off to catch up on another post of yours I have been too busy to read this week!