Wednesday, February 04, 2009
Firstly, feeling extremely selfish, I will not sit down yet and go to my Google reader and see what blogs there are to read, but instead attack the keyboard and pedantically write down my own words first as is befitting of one who pays attention to the minute details of her every day life. Greedily I take the opportunity to fill this space with talk of my own and the pleasure of putting down my own notions regardless of those which other people have written with so much effort of their own. That will come later. To begin with I'll tell you my own words first. I feel the longing for that. I need to see myself talk.
It's been a most pleasant day, my mood has been as constant as a rock in the undertow. I have been all peace and tranquility, as is befitting a steady and sturdy rock. I have had neither highs nor lows, just an even tempered frame of mind. It doesn't mean I felt no emotions, au contraire, I felt them quite pleasantly and rightfully so and if I felt like disagreeing, I did so quite openly as well, but with restraint.
Ergo therapy was the usual instructive three hours that it always is. You learn so much from listening to other people talk about their problems and listening to the therapist explain the processes to them and from you putting your own 2 cents worth into it. There is recognition and there is impatience at seeing the other person make mistakes that you made 6 months ago. You have to remember that it is a process and that it takes time to go through, but you want to rush them along and get them to the point where you are. The point of self acceptance and self acknowledgment. You see people get angry at themselves, because they can't do the things they used to do so easily and not give themselves credit for what they still are able to do. It's a big puzzlement to them. They want to be able to do everything again now this minute and hate themselves when they can't.
Then it started to snow again and it snowed off an on again all afternoon, but just very little of it stayed on the ground. It did spoil my plans to go to the grocery store, so now I am drinking coffee without milk in it, which is rather mouth puckering. I will have to go first thing tomorrow morning as soon as it is dry.
The book I ordered arrived in the mail this afternoon and I very cozily started reading it in the armchair, where I had my coffee and ashtray within easy reach and I did not fall asleep. This was due to my very upright position. There was no sliding into a more comfortable sleeping position. The book is very good so far and I am enjoying it. I would enjoy it more if I had milk in my coffee, but alas. I must get through the bitterness.
It may come as a surprise to you, but I find myself not at all in the mood for sitting behind the computer any longer and I think I will turn on the television and see if I can watch any good programs. Doubtlessly, I will be more in the mood tomorrow morning, so I will see you all then.
Have a good evening, don't slip on the icy slush.