Damn Near...

I have damn near wasted the whole day messing around behind the computer and this is coming from a woman who claimed she wasn't addicted to it anymore. Yeah, right! Who am I fooling, people? I did do some housework, but it didn't amount to much and the rest of the time I was busy organizing my photographs and and turning the images I call Doodats into things I call Flops with the aid of Paintshop Pro. I had a wonderful time doing that and posted them all on Facebook. The Exfactor got he camera to work again yesterday (I had the batteries in wrong, duh) so I was able to download the photographs of the collages, I will be showing them here next.

So, every evening I fall asleep on the sofa while I watch television and I wake up around 11 PM and think I will blog a little. The problem is, that I am usually in such a grumpy mood when I just wake up late at night, that I don't know what to do with myself. I hope it resolves itself as I sit here and write, but I can't be sure. I am forcing myself to be cheerful now, because I'll be damned if I let this mood spoil my late night activities. Of course, the wisest thing would be to go to bed, but am I known for doing the wisest thing? Of course not.

So, in order to not fall apart in a thousand pieces because of my misery, I have made myself a cup of genuine coffee and I will drink that quickly and see if it will put some bounce in my spirit. I'm not worried about it waking me up, I worry more about it picking me up out of the doldrums. Just this morning I was claiming to be an eternal optimist and I can't be stuck down here in this temporary hole now.

No, I already feel the despair lifting and the sunshine breaking through, although in this case it would be the moonshine from a great big pregnant moon hanging high in a cloudless sky, surrounded by a million stars. Dream on kid, somewhere in the world there is such a starry night. Vincent van Gogh painted it, so I know it exists. Didn't I witness it myself in the desert?

Okay, here I am again. I'm out of the hole and back to normal. I am surrounded by sleeping animals and the whole apartment is very quiet. How utterly boring, but what can you expect at this time of the night? Certainly no wild parties. I'll get down to business then.

This is the first 60x50 cm collage I made after I did the collage book. It was when I was still learning the technique and not quite sure of all the possibilities. I used a lot of text and little texture, because I thought the text was important in getting my ideas across.

I can appreciate it now, but I see all the things I could have done differently, but it is a learning process, after all, and there is nobody standing beside me helping me develop the ideas. I am discovering this on my own. It's only when I ask that I get a gentle hint and I don't ask much, preferring to muddle along on my own.

I didn't realize, for instance, that I could make the text clearer by drawing over it with a felt tip marker. Or that I didn't need that much text, but that I could do other interesting things instead. I think I will work on this one some more and finish it properly.


Here I'm getting a little more adventurous, but I'm still not getting unstuck. There is still a lot of text that is too vague and the images are arranged to evenly across the paper. I am being too neat.

There is a definite lack of inspiration here. I am going through the motions and am learning the technique, but I am not doing anything new.

I remember thinking that I was not all that happy with this one and felt ambivalent about the outcome. It wasn't close to my heart.

The only thing I liked about it was the division of the page into the two colors and there was no real reason for that. I just felt like doing that.

I don't know what I would change about it and if anything can be changed. It is about as done as it can be. In think matted in a good frame it will look good, but I have to think about it.


This one I am much happier with. It was like everything finally fell into place and I knew what I was doing.

I worked with texture and mixed my colors better and didn't use as much text and arranged the pictures differently.

I think adding the texture was a good idea, because it added depth and gave me a rough surface to add multiple colors to with oil pastels.

I was less intimidated by the whole process and worked freely. I enjoyed myself and people stopped by and complimented me on what I was doing.

Making this collage made me enjoy making collages again and made me see the joy of them again.


Although this is not a very clear photograph, this is my favorite collage up to now. The colors are brighter in real life and have more vibrancy.

I love the collection of the images and think they go well together and are arranged well. I put some thought into this, as well as into the former one.

Again, this one has a lot of texture for depth and for the opportunity to add color with layers of acrylics and oil pastels.

I really knew what I was doing here and felt a lot of confidence end enjoyment. I think the fact that I was hypomanic when I finished these last two has something to do with it. So, I must make sure that I am not over medicated.

I'm not joking about that either.


Isn't it simply wonderful to be alive and to be able to make art like this? And yes, I even dare call it art. I have plans for the spare bedroom as soon as the Exfactor has moved all of his boxes and bookcases out. I am going to get a table and chair and my own basic art supplies and work in that room on my own and make collages all the time, whenever I feel like it. I have lots of ideas that I want to try out and I think that if I have the opportunity to work when I feel inspired, I can make some interesting things.

I need for my sister to start saving all the magazines she reads, because I'll need many of those for texts and images. And I'll have to start looking through catalogs and see if there are interesting things in there. You'd be surprised at what you can find in the most odd publications. Even newspapers can have good things in them.

Well, I can get excited about that now, but first I need the room. I can already start clearing an area for the table and chair. That shouldn't be that hard to do. I'll have a good look tomorrow and see what it takes to clean that room up a bit.

Okay, I am still not sleepy, so now I am going to do something else to keep me busy. I have already taken my medication, but I am all out of sleeping pills and have forgotten to pick up more.

So, I wish you all a good night and sleep tight and don't let those things bite you, you know...

Ciao.