A nice day.

It's been an incredibly nice day. Not because it is cold and gray and drizzly outside, of course, but just because everything is going right.

I got up on time this morning after I woke up at 3 AM, got up, walked into the living room and laid down on the sofa where I continued to sleep until 6:30. Aren't I a silly woman? I don't know why I did that. It just seemed like such a cozy thing to do. Sometimes I like the sofa better than my bed. I curl up in my bathrobe and push my face into the armrest pillow and I am sound asleep again and the dog follows me and sleeps beside me.

Then I very leisurely got up and had my mug of coffee while I internetted (I think I just made that word up) and smoked my cigarettes. There were messages for me on Hyves and I answered those and read my emails. I piddled around with my Hyves settings to make them more reflective of me and wasted a good 30 minutes doing that. Background picture, favorite music, authors, films, etc.

Then I had to feed the animals and take my medicines and get dressed and I had especially appealing bedroom hair, so I hardly had to mess with it. I just hair sprayed it a bit and it was okay. Slap the old make up on and I was ready to walk the dog. Or should I say, the dog was ready to walk me, because some mornings it feels that way. I am being led around on the leash by the dog, because he is in a hurry.

Then it was off to creative therapy where I finished a collage and cut out many more images for future collages, as if I am an assembly worker and turn those things out like Ford turned out Model T's. It is turning into a kind of trick, but I am trying to make each collage better than the other and always think I will succeed with my limited skills and materials. I like the process of making them so much that it is hard to stop me. I practically can't wait to sit down and start the next one. Here is the one I finished today.

It's a little bit bent at the top so you can't see the text there, but it is in Dutch so you can't understand it anyway.

I love applying the layers of acrylics and the touches of oil pastels, because I only have somewhat of an idea of what effect I will get. I use the hairdryer between applying the layers of paint and that pushes some of the paint in trickles across the collage, which gives you a neat effect, I think.

My next one is going to be black and white and gray. I am already collecting the images for it now.

I have been thinking of making abstract figures with clay, but every time I do, I think I want to make one more collage. I see people making some wonderful things with clay and feel drawn to it and want to try it, but the collages hold me under their spell right now.

Class is done a bit before 12:30 PM and my SPN was going to call me at that time, so I walked outside to the front entrance, where there clearly was a sign not to smoke and lit a cigarette. Well, there were only a hundred butts laying around. When she called me, I told my SPN that I had lowered my dose of antipsychotics and she very much wanted to know the mood I was in and when I told her I was fine, she tried to find out how fine I was feeling, as in very good, or just an ordinary sort of fine, or a bit elated.

I told her that I had gotten a hundred Euros from Social Services for my Internet connection, and that I had been planing on saving it, but that I had spent 75 of it on clothes yesterday by ordering them on line. That was the day after I lowered my antipsychotics. She was a wee bit concerned about that and asked me what my plans were going into the weekend, might I turn out to be hypomanic again.

I told her that I would increase the dose again if I caught myself doing hypomanic things, such as not sleeping enough. It is a problem, because I don't always realize when I am becoming hypomanic, but there are telltale signs and not getting enough sleep is one of them. The thing is, that I have to be dead honest and own up to any sort of behavior I exhibit that may be suspect. I can't hide anything, no matter how innocent it may seem. Little things add up.

I ordered a dress and two pairs of boots. The dress and one pair of boots came today, the other pair will come tomorrow morning. I am wearing the dress, which is quite nice and the boots are great. They fit me very well and are comfortable to walk in. These have a very low heel, but the other pair have heels and are tougher looking, shit kicking boots, whereas these are more ladylike. I dare not tell anyone that I spent that money on clothes. It should have gone into my savings account. So mum's the word.

I had a gift cetificate and the dress and one pair of boots were on sale, so I got a good deal. Still...me and clothes, right? I have a total adoration for them. I don't know where this love for clothes comes from, except that I think it is in my genes and I inherited it from my mother. Sure, let's blame her and she got worse as she got older too, just like I am.

Then the Exfactor came over to do laundry and he was more normal today, which was good, because I find him much easier to bear like that. He is going to buy his own washing machine, so soon he will not come over anymore to do laundry. We walked to the hardware store together to buy new light bulbs and he was kind enough to install them for me, after I assured him that I was quite capable of doing it myself, but that I appreciated him doing it instead. I don't want him to get a big head and think that I am a helpless female. Because we all know that I'm not, right? Just as long as we all have that straight.

Today was his last day at work and he already has some job interviews lined up, so more power to him. I hope it all works out for him.

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I just had to make a mad dash to the pharmacy. I realized it was 6 PM and that I had forgotten to pick up my medications. So I called them and they waited for me to get there and I raced on my bike in the drizzly rain and got there in record time, all the while thinking that I mustn't get into an accident, of course, so I only took little chances. The funny part is, that I am not out of breath one bit and that goes to show you that I'm in pretty good shape. Not bad for an old lady, huh?

I just fed the animals who were pretending to be starved to death and the Überhund finished everything in his own dish and now he is eating cat kibbles, of all things. What a strange dog! I suppose he is protest eating again, in other words, he wanted more food, but was too stubborn to ask for it. Well, everybody is happy now, they're all digesting their food and peace and quiet reign. It is as it should be in my realm.

I said to the Exfactor, "Do you realize that I've had a haircut?" He said, "No, I didn't, but now that you mention it, I see that you did." Are all men this bad?

I am going to mop the floors. The other night I changed the bed, vacuumed the bedroom and the hallway, scrubbed the bathroom and did a load of laundry. I found that I enjoyed working at night. Oh yes, first I have to eat and walk the dog. Mustn't forget that.

Have a nice evening.

Ciao...