After all the trouble I went through to quit my anti-psychotics, I ended up having to go back on a low dose of them in the end because I was just not making it without them, not even with the help of a high dose of the Valerian tablets. I was only hanging in there by the skin of my teeth and things got very precarious.
I made the decsion to to return to the anti-psychotics after consulting my psychiatrist and he was in total agreement with me, of course. I think I heard a big sigh of relief coming from his general direction. He reluctantly lets me try things, but that doesn't mean he agrees with me.
I am doing much better now and can just about function normally again. I'm certainly capable of thinking straighter and not besieged by panic attacks and other strange phenomena. Going out of my mind comes close to describing it.
After this unpleasant experience, I want to pick up my life and carry on from here. I want to get back to normal as quickly as possible while in full appreciation of what that concept means. I've never appreciated ordinary life as much as I do now.