Challenge...

I've been challenged not to write about coffee, but you may as well ask me not to write a post at all because it is impossible for me not to mention coffee. It is such an integral part of my daily life that it would be hard not to talk about it. It makes me function when I'm about ready to take a nap and don't want to. I'm sitting here with a cup of coffee now and there's more in the pot to have in a while. I'm looking forward to it already and yes, I'm starting to function much better. 

I haven't done a bleeding thing all day but walk the dog and sit around and watch interesting programs on television. I do make sure I see my fair share of those on Sundays. That's after I've quietly contemplated my navel in the silence of the early morning hours when I've finally gotten up. Because it's Sunday, I don't feel called upon to do a heck of a lot and feel that being lazy is perfectly legitimate. 

All I had to do was get dressed at one point and pretend to be wide awake, but I don't feel that I have to be as alert as I have to be the rest of the week. The dog seems to have the same notion and takes many naps in whatever sunshine is available to him. He must know that it's my day off and doesn't make too many demands. We do honor the day of the Lord and pay proper attention when the church bells ring, but that's as far as our devotion goes. 

Tonight the Netherlands is playing its football match against Portugal. We are still in the running if we beat them with two points and if Germany beats Denmark. Those are a lot of ifs that I don't have faith in. I don't even know if I will stay up to watch the match. I may get so disgusted that I'll turn off the televsion and go to bed. I even thought about lighting a candle at the Our Dear Lady Chapel, but I'm sure a lot of like minded, middle aged, Portugese women will do the same thing in their chapels. And they are catholic and I am not.

The sun does come out every once in a while even though it is overcast a lot. At least it's not raining today. It's not very warm outside and I do have to wear a jacket when I walk the dog. I'm wearing warmer clothes too, but that's purely because I'm being less stubborn and am indulging myself. I decided I wanted to be extra comfortable and ignore the fact that it's nearly summer. I don't know who to blame this weather on. Maybe some day it will be sunshiny and warm again. 

I just remembered that I have to do a load of laundry. In all my laziness I had forgotten that. 

Ciao,
Irene

Just be unruly...

It's early in the morning and I'm having my third cup of coffee, soon to be followed by a tall glass of cold milk. I can only drink so much coffee before I'm completely satiated with it and don't want another drop of it. It does mean that I'm wide awake for now and that all the marbles in my head are in their proper place. There aren't any rolling around unguardedly creating bumps and dents. Everything is pretty solid up there and when I tilt my head, I hear no alarming noises, nor do I suffer from vertigo.

Having established that, I think I can safely write a blog post and try to make some sense of it without making it too complicated so early in the morning when the world hasn't even woken up yet. It is Sunday and things will stay quiet for a long time until the church bells ring for the first mass. I will be sound asleep again by that time, as it is usual for me to go back to bed and get the rest of my beauty sleep in, not that it's helping a heck of a lot. Whatever beauty I had has faded with age and is irretrievable. I don't mourn for it and age gracefully. There aren't any other options. 

I very obediently had a quiet night at home as is befitting of a middle aged woman, and I spent it watching harmless programs on television.  They're the sort of programs made for people who don't have anything better to do on a Saturday night, but who need to be entertained anyway, without being taxed too much. It's called amusement and what would I do without it? I pretend to be more interested than I really am, but it's really a good way to pass the time and sometimes I am mildly amused. Sometimes I even care. I'm glad I get to decide for myself what nonsense I get to watch and that there's no one here to critique my choice of programs, because it doesn't all have to be very challenging. I can imagine that if I lived with someone else, I wouldn't watch half the drivel that I do, and honestly, sometimes drivel is good.

I did watch the news twice. One time in the condensed form and one time in the more expanded form. I do try to be well informed. Between it and what I hear on the radio, I think I am. I like watching the news, as I'm very interested to know what's going on around the world and politically in my own country. Not that I feel that I have that much power over it, but I don't like to be caught unawares. I'd like to think that just knowing about it makes me a better person and in the end, because everything is connected, better able to vote when it comes down to it, because we are so internationally oriented. I do like to hear the backgrounds and that is why I like the political discussions on the radio. 

I'm drinking cold milk now and very good it tastes too after all that coffee. I think coffee does make you thirsty as it has the tendency to dehydrate you. It is great if you're retaining water.

I think I'm ready to get back into my warm bed. I haven't had the heater on the whole time I've been up. It has been warm enough in here still. For some reason it didn't cool off that much during the night, even though it's freezing outside. It's going to be another cold, sunny day. I will walk Tyke in my warm winter coat with my gloves on. That's for later, first I'm going to sleep some more. 

Have a good morning.

Ciao,

Nora

In the evening.

Jesker wasn't doing well today. All he did until 2:30 pm was sleep. He didn't eat or drink anything until Babaloo suggested to me that I carry his bowl of water over to him. That worked and he drank enough to quench his thirst. I took him out for a little bit, but it exhausted him and he went straight back to sleep. At 5 pm he roused himself and came over for a cuddle. I took the opportunity to give him a bowl of food, which he ate, and he drank more water, but then he went straight back to sleep again. I have to take him out in a while, because he doesn't ask for it himself. I think he forgets to do things, because he feels so bad. He didn't walk normally either. He walked like an invalid, very slowly and carefully. I don't think he's out of the woods yet.

I spent the afternoon reading and sleeping and getting six books ready to send overseas. That's always quite a job, as I have to find the right envelope, or brown paper wrapping, and then make sure I put the right book in and address it properly. It's like wrapping Christmas presents. The foreign addresses make no sense and I have to make sure I spell everything correctly. In my effort to do it right, I almost do it wrong. I'm always very excited when there's a new book in my mailbox, so I hope the people I send the books to will have the same kind of excitement.

I tried to mooch a book I wanted very much and there was only one copy of it available, but the person who owned it turned me down. He didn't want to send the book overseas. I ended up ordering it at Bol.com and it should be here next week. It's The God Squad by Paddy Doyle, another Irish writer, who I always turn out to like so much. I think it's the sorrow in their stories that touches me so. There something very sad about the history of Ireland and I am fascinated reading about it.

The church bells are ringing as if the Second Coming is about to happen. There's a cold wind blowing and the sun is going down. It's all very ominous. I don't like it.

I'm going to put on some warm socks and boots and walk Jesker for a little bit. I'm sure he needs to go out by now.

Have a good evening all of you.

Ciao,
Nora

Back in business.

I've got my computer back and the repair was very cheap. I looked at the man with my mouth dropped open when he told me how little it cost. It was my lucky day, I guess. It's working like a dream and I even managed to hook it up properly all on my own, according to the instructions of the Exfactor who had written them down on a little piece of paper. Now I will always be able to do it, after I had never done so before. Isn't that silly?

My sister and I went to pick it up together in her car and it turned out that her neighbor is the father in law of the man who owns the computer shop and he just happened to be there, so it was like a homecoming. Much chatting had to be done, and the fun part is, that in this shop they also sell turntables to play your records on, if you still own those, and there were some really nice ones there, which made me nostalgic for all the records I once owned and the crackly sound they made when the needle touched down on the first grooves. I would buy a turntable if I knew I could find some of my favorite records. Ah, keep dreaming, Nora!

Anyway, I've got my computer back and that is a true pleasure, although I was not bored when I did not have it. I drew and painted pictures and am mighty pleased with myself. I've got one done and am working on another one. I've got a box of 12 tubes of acrylic paints that I also mix to get even more colors, so I am happy. The paper of the watercolor pad is very nice to paint on, as it is thick and absorbs the paints well and they dry quickly, which is good, because I have a tendency to forget that I just painted something and lay my hand in it. Major snafu. Luckily, subsequent layers of paint cover everything up if it gets messed up.

I'm using the same technique that I use on the canvas paintings and went with the same theme, but now I'm ready to try something else. I've had my try outs now and I need to come up with something new. I've even found a pencil and an eraser, so I can sketch to my heart's delight and make errors and erase until I get it right. I've also got that nice magazine to find inspiration in. I'm thinking about a beach scene with a beach chair and an umbrella and all the paraphernalia that goes with it. Or a kitchen window with curtains and plants in the windowsill and coffee cups on the counter. Maybe a cat that sits and watches it all. I have to give my imagination a chance to unwind and go to work.

It's 5:45 pm and the church bells are ringing. It must be time for mass. I should run over and see what people are doing there right now, but I'm too lazy to do it. Maybe another day when I'm more prepared. I haven't lit a candle in a chapel in a long time. That means I haven't been hypo manic in a while, because I only get religious when I am really hypo manic. I feel the spirit of God descending on me when I'm like that and the enormous urge to be in the basilica in front of the statue of Mary who is clothed in a blue robe. Maybe it's better that I'm in this normal, in between mood. I still have all my sensibilities this way and am not submissively knelt down in prayer asking for impossible things.

Jesker is still doing really well. The only problem is that the pain medication is making him fart a lot and since he always is where I am, I get huge overdoses of it and they are pretty hefty. Luckily, I'm very fond of him, so I can tolerate them, but if he were a stranger, I would move out of the room. The poor guy, he doesn't have a clue as to how bad he smells. His farts could be used as weapons of war. But I love him anyway. Well, somebody has to.

I did the grocery shopping today, and even though the parking lot and the bike rack were very full, the big store seemed to have absorbed all the shoppers and there were many check out stands open and I was done in no time and even had enough money left in my bank account to pay for the groceries, because that was a doubtful moment. I bought fresh juice and the first thing I did when I came home, was drink two glasses of it, because I was so thirsty, which reminds me that I have to check my glucose levels, because I have been very thirsty lately and going to the toilet a lot. Could be nothing at all, of course.

The cereal I buy is high in vitamin B and iron and some other minerals. I made a point to check that today before I bought it. There is another cereal similar to it that doesn't make that claim, so I won't buy that one, even though it is cheaper. I think maybe that's why it is cheaper. I want everything that I eat to have vitamins and minerals in it that are good for me and diverse. I don't want empty calories. I have been unable to eat anything remotely like a bigger portion. I think my gastric band has shifted and I can only eat little bits of food. It is very frustrating, but now that I've caught on to it, I know what to do. It just will take me a long time to finish a meal. I have to sit and wait for the little bits to pass the gastric band. Sometimes getting up and walking around helps.

Well, my trusty four footer wants to go for a walk, so I guess I will take him now. He is trying to be patient, but he can hardly contain himself. He is looking at me with mournful eyes. You just can't ignore that look.

Have a good evening, all of you. The sun is still shining. And the temperature inside has gone up by a whole degree.

Ciao,
Nora.

Bravado...

I am trying to be lazy on this Saturday morning, but I don't know if the dog will let me. I have let him out back for a piddle and he has eaten a bowl of food, but he may want to go for a walk any minute now and that means I will have to change out of this comfortable bathrobe into my regular clothes and I so don't want to. I need at least another cup of coffee and several more cigarettes. Darn, I need a certain amount of my vices in the morning. Two cups of coffee isn't too much to ask for.

The second painting at creative therapy is going well. So far, I'm very pleased with it, but it does help to have some very white paint handy for when I go over the lines. I can't wait for it to be Monday so I can work on it again. First I have to get through those two long days of the weekend, of which Sunday is the longest day.

When I came home at 12:30 in the afternoon yesterday, there was a watercolor pad laying on the dining table and I knew right away that the Exfactor had put it there, so I called him to thank him for it and he said that it was not the present that he wanted to still give me. I'm completely in the dark now about what it could be, because I thought he maybe was going to buy me a sketch pad. This one says it is a sketch and watercolor pad.

I can't wait to begin to use it, but I feel that I must develop some other style or technique and I need to do a little bit of pondering about what those could be. I have tubes of paint, so I could be painting also. I must give it a long hard think. Something abstract maybe. I only have two art books and maybe I can find something to inspire me in them. There's an acute shortage of art books, I would say. Time to hit the second hand bookstore.

My afternoon with Von was nice. We had cappuccinos and tea at our regular outdoor café and they were accompanied by some Italian cookies that were so hard that they were impossible to bite into and we could have done each other some serious damage if we had thrown them at one another. Usually, we get pieces of soft nougat with our beverages and I hope that they get rid of those cookies and return to the nougat or pick something else that's more digestible. At one of the cafés on the big square you get a cookie and a chocolate, but I think that Von prefers this smaller more intimate square.

We saw two bridal couples outside the ancient basilica and both the brides were dressed in ivory colored dresses with bouquets of red roses. The church bells rang especially for them. It was quite festive and we think it was a double wedding. Love was in the air and everybody was happy. It was very sweet to see and made you long to be that young again and have a wedding of your own (but, of course, have the wisdom that you have now). If only you could trust those grooms!

We walked around downtown and I pulled a croquette out of the wall at Snackson's over by the big square and Von had a big paper cone of fries with mayonnaise. We ate that while walking down the street, which is half the pleasure of it, because women our age are not supposed to eat in the street. It goes against convention. You're supposed to find a suitable place to sit down to consume your food. Of course, we had to lick our fingers, because as usual there were no napkins, as that is considered too much of an investment and wasteful.

Today I've got to do some grocery shopping and I'm not looking forward to it at all, because it will be busy in the store and I never like that. I do so like it when there are lots of places to park my bike and lots of shopping baskets and no distracted shoppers in the aisles. I guess I need a store of my own, or I need to go at 8 o'clock in the morning. Fool that I didn't think of it. First I better check my bank account balance to see if there is any money to shop with.

I think, other than the shopping, I will declare this "take it easy day," as I have few chores to do and I may as well do those tomorrow when I'm bored because it's Sunday.

Have a terrific Saturday everyone. Think of me when you load your groceries in your car, as I wobble down the street with mine.

Oh, for privacy reasons, I have changed my name on every website I frequent. I realized I didn't want to be so much of a public figure and have all of the details of my life out there and have them directly attached to my name. My name is now Nora Ibsen and I would appreciate it if you would address me as Nora from now on.

Thanks,
Nora

A new haircut...

I just got my hair cut and I suppose it's okay, but it's shorter that it was the last time and I have to get used to it, and to the way it is fixed, and I dare not look into the mirror for fear that I will not like it. I've avoided both the bathroom mirror and the hallway mirror so far and I'm planning on avoiding the closet mirror too for a while longer, anyway, and then I have to decide which one I am going to look in first. Of course, the one that's most flattering, and I think that's the bathroom mirror. I will carefully sneak up on it and take it by surprise and look into it when it least expects it.

I've been feeling a bit anxious all day and in the morning my eczema was acting up quite a bit and I had to scratch a lot. I get that often when I'm nervous. I did nonsense things that didn't do anybody any good at all on the computer and basically wasted my time and at 1 pm I realized that I forgot to take my medicines in the morning, so I took them all then and sat down by the dining table to wait for them to work.

After about half an hour I made a shopping list and went to the supermarket, where I spend a cool 15 minutes inside getting the things I needed. Outside it was warm and humid and it made me sweat something awful. After I had loaded up all my bags, I went to the tobacconist, who's little shop was stifling hot and where I luckily only had to be about 3 minutes before I bicycled home.

When I got there, and hauled my bike inside, the dog barked at me while I unloaded the groceries. I don't know why, it is a new thing he does, as if he is telling me a story about how happy he is to see me home again and what the cats did while I was gone. He didn't want to eat, I tried that, and he went to sleep as soon as I sat down to drink a glass of juice.

I ate some Camembert, but had to stop and save the rest, because it was too much for me to finish. It did taste delicious, though, and then my sister called me and told me, in the course of the conversation, that her least favorite cheeses were Brie and Camembert. Isn't that funny? Those are the ones I like so much. Actually, I like all cheese. I don't think there's one I say no to. Is there? I'll even eat processed cheese on a hamburger, when I still ate those, and macaroni and cheese from a box.

Anyway, I was feeling a bit anxious and I keep having that feeling and I wonder if it is finally from having quit taking the tranquilizers. I've tried to talk myself out of it, but find it impossible to do, as if I'm not quite in control of it, though when I'm really occupied, I don't feel it so much and it is practically gone. I find that I can really focus when I'm behind the computer typing and doing mundane things such as making lists and inventories of my books. Things that require dogged concentration and ability and stick-with-it-ness. I reality I'm a very dull person who likes dull jobs.

I'm supposed to walk the dog one more time, but he's very merrily snoring at my feet and I'm waiting for it to cool off a bit before I go outside. Itś so muggy and it wouldn't surprise me if there were rain coming, but I don't have my little forecast bar anymore. I don't know where it went. It disappeared into the ether. Just like single socks. To the dimension where multiplying clothes hangers come from. You lose some and you receive some.

I have an unending supply (it seems) of plastic clothes hangers on the bottom of my closet and when I try to pull one out, they all grab each other by the neck and become a tangled mess, just like their wire relatives. I don't know how I got to be in possession of so many, but I think they are mating in the dark, and sometimes when the door creaks open, I know it's from the ruckus of the mating hangers. There's no other explanation.

Every once in a while I put up my hands to feel my hair. I know I will love it in the morning when I get up and I won't have to do a thing to it. The hairdresser put wax in it and spray on it that both smell like candy or strawberry jam, whichever you prefer it. It smells very good and she says she never gets tired of it.

There was a woman after me, who had come to get her hair cut, who had washed her own hair at home. Isn't that silly? For me that's part of the treat, having your hair washed by somebody else. The hairdresser does it so gently and thoroughly and the water is always the right temperature, I just love it. She washes all that awful wax and hairspray out that I've put in and on, in an effort to get my hair to stay in place, because it really was too long to fix it properly anymore. And that day sneaks up on you before you know it. One day your hair is fine and the next day it is not and nothing will help it. How lovely it is to go to the hair dresser.

I should be a walking advertisement for cheese and hairdressers and...well, for what else? For the local dog pound where I got Jesker. And for the supermarket and for the tobacconist and for bicycle repairmen. I should have ads put on my bike. Rent A Space!

The church bells are ringing and it is 7:15 pm. I just want to call your attention to it. Why are they ringing at this time on a Thursday?

Okay, that's all I wrote. I have to wake my snoring dog now and walk him.

Have a good evening!

Ciao...

A New Hobby...

Frances said that I need to keep my promise to myself and start doing artsy things here at home like I said I would. I think that's an excellent idea, except for one small problem and that is that I ran out of money to buy the supplies with. Now I know there is a store real close to me where I can buy art supplies at a real cheap price, so I need to go over there and see what they have that I can use and price the items and add up how much money I need to try and save this month, Ha ha, I have to laugh just a little bit here, because I'm lucky if I make it to the end of the month.

This store is a discount store that sells everything at dump prices and it is always very crowded there and you never know what they have on sale. Some items they always have and I've been told that they always have art supplies. So if I find an unattended wallet in the street, and it has a lot of money in it, the money is mine. I'm so poor, that I can't afford to be honest.

--------------------

I started writing the above yesterday when I was really too tired to start a new post, but was being terribly bored, I thought. What I really needed to do, was go to bed and sleep, which is what I ended up doing and I slept late and the dog let me and is now sound asleep by my feet as if he doesn't need to go out for a walk. He has just eaten his breakfast and piddled out back. I guess that suffices for now, because he is snoring.

I have just taken my medicines, all except the tranquilizers. I only have about 5 pills left and haven't taken any since my overdose. I had talked to my psychiatrist about quiting the tranquilizers all together and he had said that it would take a year to get off them completely, because I took so many during the day. Now I seem to be able to do without them completely, or it must be that they are still in my system to some degree. Anyway, it will be a gradual build off and one of these days soon, there will be none of that substance left in my body. At least I will be off the tranquilizers then.

I seem to have lost the weather forecast bar and now I can't tell what the temperature is outside and what the weather is going to be like for the next 3 days. I was wrong about today. It isn't going to be cool and rainy at all. That is for tomorrow. Today it is going to be hot again, meaning a minimum amount of clothing. Hurricane Bill is going to weaken as it travels across the Atlantic and reach us as a low pressure system. We won't have the horrible storms that the people on the East Coast and Canada are having. Thank goodness for that.

I must do a little bit of housecleaning today. Yesterday I did two loads of laundry and dried some of it outside on the clothes line. Today I must remember to water the plants, as the fig plant looks especially needy. I also must sweep the floors and mop the kitchen floor where I spilled coffee all over the place. That was when I was quite uncoordinated. That means I have to get the mop out of the closet where the mouse lives and I hope I don't see him or disturb him in any way. I will not scream, but be highly uncomfortable.

All morning long the church bells have been ringing and I'm trying to make some sense of it, but I can't figure it out. They ring a quarter before the hour, but then they also ring at different times, so go figure. I do like the sound of them, but wish I knew more about their predictability. I suppose I need to talk to a real live Catholic, which should not be hard to do around here.

Well, I need to check my bank account balance. Luckily, I have no nasty mail to open, just one bill to pay on line. I will not get a panic attack now anyway, I hope.

Have a good Sunday. The name is very apt today.

Ciao...