I was sitting here minding my own business when I noticed that I was getting just a little bit stressed and I wondered why that was. I quickly realized it was because in my head I was making a list of things I had not gotten around to doing and that I absolutely could not forget. But then I also realized that this was the weekend and that I would have plenty of time to do them, so I started to relax again.
It's just a matter of writing these things down on a piece of paper and breaking them down into simple steps. The smaller the steps, the easier the job and the less intimidated I will be. It's the fear of failure that always paralyzes me and that has to do with my drive for perfectionism. It's better if I name those less appealing characteristics so I won't be bothered by them so much. It's good to keep them in mind while I go about crossing off items on that yet to be made list.
I'm sitting here having a much appreciated cup of coffee. It's as good as I anticipated it would be. Since I'm off the tranquilizers, I don't have many befuddled moments anymore and I seldom have to drink the coffee to become sober minded. I do require it in the mornings to get my head together. I could not start functioning without the caffeine. I suppose that's how addicted I am to it. Like the joke goes: I don't have an identifiable personality without it. And I'm an unmovable, silent obstacle without caffeine.
The Exfactor can testify to that. He is here some mornings when I'm just waking up and haven't had my coffee yet. He knows that I'm incapable of having a conversation until I've had that first cup. I sit there as if I'm dumb struck and I can hardly utter a word. I do completely turn around when the caffeine has hit my system and am full of kindness once that happens. I can talk about any subject then and make a completely coherent shopping list.
Luckily, the scenario above doesn't happen a lot. I do try to be up on time when I know the Exfactor is coming. I very seldom oversleep. That must be why I like the weekends because it allows me that luxury, although I don't often take advantage of it. I must remember that I like the weekends for those times when I think I don't.