Saturday, May 30, 2009

Some time on a Saturday...

The time is indefinite, so I can post this whenever I get done with it. Maybe it will take me a while to write this it or maybe I'll write it in one fell swoop. You never know in the weekends. The days aren't that exciting and I usually have to find a subject to write about that's not so current.

I like the fact that the days of the weekend aren't exciting, after all the eventful days of the week. It's good to have a mindless break and to sleep a lot and to be a little bit lazy and unorganized. I slept really well last night, but I just took a nap on the sofa, which was nice, as the dog slept beside me and we both got up at the right time for me to take him for a walk.


I've been thinking about what wears me out so much and I think it is the three hours of ergo therapy. You sit in a group of eight people plus the therapist and a lot goes on and some of it are underlying dislikes between members of the group. We just got two new members in the group and we are very weary about one of them and two of us, led by me, have aired our concerns in the group.

Whatever is discussed in the group, is supposed to stay inside the group and we had noticed this person was not sticking to these rules. We had also noticed that she very loudly discussed very intimate details of her own life out on the deck, where everyone could hear them. So there was some concern on our part about our safety inside the group with this new person there.

This woman is what you may call a very common woman. She speaks very loudly and very exaggeratedly and fabricates some details of her stories to make herself look more victimized. On Wednesday, I caught her in an out and out lie and the person who could back me up wasn't there, but she, with a stone cold face, pretended that I had made something up in front of the therapist and the whole group.

I think she has made herself immensely unpopular and now I don't know how we as a group can go on as uninhibited as we have. We obviously have a problem. I don't feel free enough to discuss my intimate details in the group and I wonder if the other people feel the same way. I suppose all I can do is wait for the next Wednesday and see how things evolve. She carries enormous grudges, so when you think you have discussed a problem and come to a good conclusion, she walks around feeling pissed off until the next time and beyond that.

I think it is these kind of things that wear me out so much, because they are so intense and wreck the harmony of the group. The therapist says I have to harden myself against things like this, because I'm going to encounter them in real life too, although maybe not on such an intense basis. I wonder if that is possible?


In the meantime, back on the ranch, the sun is shining relentlessly and I don't remember asking for that. I distinctly remember me saying that I don't mind the occasional cloud in the sky. But I won't despair, because we will have those tomorrow and there is even some rain going to fall out of them. The temperatures are going to be around the 20's and I think that's just fine. That's my kind of weather. For those of you who are sticklers, tomorrow it is going to be 68 degrees Fahrenheit.

It's a long weekend, because we have Monday off too. That's because it is Pentecost, or Whitsunday, which was originally a Jewish holiday, but supposedly it was when the Holy Spirit descended down from heaven and struck the apostles, so they could speak in languages, so every Jew of every nation could understand them. It's the tenth day after Ascension Day. So speaketh the Bible.

You can certainly tell that we're a Christian nation by the holidays we still keep, which is really kind of silly, because there are so many people of so many different kinds of cultures living here. It seems we are just ignoring all of them. I think we should ignore all religious holidays and just make up some new ones to honor special occasions, having to do with the history of the country or contemporary issues, like international women's day or the day of the child. That's just my take on it. Boy, if only I could be a benign despot. (I'm always so convinced of my right.)


Speaking of despotism, I'd still rather be the queen, except that our queen doesn't have as much power as I'd like to have. I don't know how many strings she can pull and how restricted she is in what she can get done, but I'd like to take advantage of the position more than she does. I would definitely push that idea of the holidays through, even if I had to take on the major Christian political parties. I wouldn't be afraid if they threatened to dethrone me and just make an appeal to my popularity amongst the population.

I don't think you'd get this sort of thing done as prime minister, They'd laugh you straight out of Parliament, even if a lot of people would agree with you. Those who have the sword in their hands, wouldn't let it happen. That's how the score stands now. We're led by the Christian Democrats, and the Social Democrats, who are in the coalition government with them, are their toy dogs and are restricted by the leash they're tethered by. I've never seen such an anti-social bunch of Social Democrats.


The birds are chirping outside announcing dinnertime. Gosh, a good T-bone steak from the barbecue sure would taste good. "Ha, ha," she laughed fiendishly, "you will never eat such a thing again." And so it is, unless I have my gastric band removed, which I may do one of these days, but that is a story for another day.

I hope you have a lovely Saturday evening or day, whichever timezone you are in, and that your weather is kind to you.



pinklea said...

That ergo therapy group does not sound good right now. Yes, you will encounter many people in all areas of life like that woman, but group therapy is a special case. Every member absolutely must feel safe to say whatever he or she needs to say, without the risk of anything being repeated outside group. If that feeling of safety is not there, the whole point of group is nullified and therefore, it will not work as therapy. Whatever this woman's issues are, it doesn't sound like she is a good candidate for group right now, as she is too self-centred. I hope your therapist can see that it is the rights of the many that are more important than the rights of the few, so another type of therapy needs to be found for that woman before your group is completely demoralized and destroyed. You have all worked too hard to passively allow that to happen! Good luck in working this out!

jeannette stgermain said...

Hmm, I don't know I agree with your therapist that you need to harden yourself - if she means to not let that woman bother you, I would agree.
Yes, when you have a person like her, who dominates the group it's hard to talk about stuff close to your own heart.
Queen Beatrix looks so serious and tired in that pic - can't remember, how old she is approximately?

Breakfast in California said...

Sorry the dynamics of your group have changed, can anyone just come into the group at any time?

We are home and jet lagged. Cloudy here and much cooler than last week's weather. Love the Queen's hat!!

Lilian said...

Míjn vertrouwen en openheid in de groep is heel ver gedaald, zoniet tot het nulpunt. Dit is wordt denk ik een aandachtspunt in de groep en ik denk voor meerdere mensen....afwachten maar en eens kijken hoe het gaat.

Gail said...

The saying we use for someone like the person in your group, is Give her enough rope, and she will hang herself.

Glad you had a lovely relaxing day. Bev and I, mostly Bev, have been repainting the bathroom.

Maggie May said...

Not sure I agree with you about the holidays...... I think that we need to stick to Christian values (or tradition, if that is all it is), because otherwise we will be a nation that is taken over by something else & that would be a great pity as differences in culture form a rich tapestry. No other countries who have strong religious beliefs(like the Middle east) would change for anyone else who settled in their country. I believe in the saying *When in Rome, do as the Romans do*! Or if they can't do that, just accept what the Romans do!

As regards the woman in the group,I agree that in life, many people are there to irk us in some way but this lady seems to be undermining the security of the group. You have to feel safe to bare your soul. Maybe you should all gently say something, without it becoming an argument. However, don't forget that she is ill and may have more difficulties than the rest of the group.
The best way though, is to ignore her behaviour and hope she gets the message. She might be choosing a lonely life and she needs help to be turned around.