Friday on the merry go round.

It's a good thing that the dog woke me early this morning, because although I had set my alarm for 7 am, it didn't actually go off until 7:50 and that would have been kind of late. So the alarm clock is not reliable anymore and I already thought it was not, because the other day it showed completely the wrong time. Which meant I went to a cheap household goods store today and bought a radio alarm clock that is a 24 hour digital one and set it to a pleasant Belgian radio station to go off at 7 am and it has a snooze button. Not that I will use that, of course. I will listen to the pleasant Flemish voices and wake up in a good mood, and start my day full of good cheer.

I've increased my tranquilizers today from three pills at the time to five pills at the time. It was either that or go back to the Temazepam, and since that makes me so sleepy, I didn't want to do that. It was an executive decision that I made on my own, but I will inform my SPN shortly by email. I am sure that she loves how I let her know these things after the fact, but I count on her to trust me. It lits a load of my shoulders and I don't nearly feel the stress that I felt before.

If you wonder why I feel the stress, it is partly because of that ridiculous domestic help scene that turned out to be something else than what I needed and I have to address this issue in my email to my SPN also. I've talked about it with several people today and they all said that I should ask for more.

Creative therapy went fine. I destroyed the creation I was working on that I was making up by myself, because I was very unhappy with it and dropped and pounded the clay back into one solid lump so I could start all over again. I then brought out the bible, which is Henri Moore's book of sculptures, and picked out one that I wanted to make and I've made a lot of progress and I'm happy with it. Somehow I always do better making a copy. I don't have one original thought in my head when it comes to working with clay, unless I want to make flower pots and who wants to make them?

I ate breakfast before I left, so I wouldn't be tempted to eat cookies at therapy and I walked in there and the table was laden with many packs of three kinds of cookies and I thought that was awfully cruel. I was able to withstand them however, but I did eat two old biscuits from the tin that was sitting there. They were tiny and didn't count. I used up those calories going up the stairs to the deck and the espresso machine during the break.

Then it was homeward bound with a quick stop at the tobacconist and then home to the dog, who was all poor and pathetic for having been alone all morning. I took him out for a quick walk while all the while my toe hurt like crazy. It's making it hard for me to walk at a quick pace.Then I walked to the bus stop to catch the bus downtown, even though I said I wouldn't , but my bike is too funky,

I waited at the café under the awning, which was heated very pleasantly, for Von to get there while I had a cappuccino. I was early and Von was late, but in the end we found each other and spent two hours doing nothing but talk and talk. I had two cappuccinos and a Wiekse Witte so I have to watch my calories tonight. There were cookies with the cappucinos which I refused to eat and I gave my fist one to a pigeon. He got lucky.

We parted company when I went to buy my alarm clock and then I even went to two clothing stores without buying anything at all and got to the bus stop one minute before the bus got there. That was sheer luck. I hobbled home from the bus stop and took my boots of right way to give my poor toe a break. Soon enough I had to put them back on to walk the dog, but now they are off and I'm sitting here in my socks, which is a great relief. I can't even wear my slippers because they hurt too much. I think another trip to the GP is warranted.

Now I'm going to have myself a glass if juice and a slice of raisin bread and then put on my pajamas, Then I'm going to hang in there as long as possible.

Ciao...