Friday, June 26, 2009
What you do...
I woke up at 6 am, full of good intentions, but as I sat there with my coffee and my cigarettes, all my good intentions flew out the window and at 7 am I called in sick for creative therapy. Then I went back to sleep for a few hours thinking it would cheer me up.
Well, it was nice to sleep some more, but it didn't really cheer me up and it felt like a bear was sitting on my chest preventing me from breathing deeply and causing me pain there. This was more than melancholy, this was depression, but you're not supposed to call it that if you've only had it for such a short time. So we'll just simply call it a depressed mood.
I was supposed to see Von this afternoon, but the thought of riding my bike downtown and making cheerful conversation was too much for me to contemplate and I canceled our date.
Then I sat and thought about what I really wanted to do and I thought I really wanted to go to the cozy hairdresser around the corner and have my hair washed and cut, so that is what I did. The girls there are so nice and always talk to you and smile at you and get you a coffee and I love to have someone mess with my hair. It is the ultimate luxury to me. It's a treat and I needed one.
I had my hair cut real short on the sides and in the back and just a little bit off the top. The girl fixed it very well with wax and hairspray and in a little while, if I have the energy, I will take a picture of myself and stick it in my profile.
If I had any nails to speak off, I would have a manicure and a pedicure and while I'm at it, I would also have a whole body massage with herbal oils, but that is too dear for me. I just want to be pampered. Wouldn't it be nice if those services were included in the mental health package? People who don't get touched enough need those things.
It's very hot outside, too hot for my liking, and you can hardly wear any clothes. Sun dresses are about it, but I feel so naked in only a sun dress. I want to wear something to cover my arms, or at least my shoulders and upper arms.
It's going to be hot tomorrow, but we are supposed to have some rain and I do hope it materializes to cool things off a little bit, it would be so nice.
I have to go grocery shopping tomorrow and I'm undecided how I feel about that. I like being in the store picking out things to eat, but I don't like the wobbly trip home with the full bags. I do like the feeling of satisfaction I have when it is done and all the groceries are put away. Maybe it would help if I went early when there is little traffic, but that would mean getting my act together quickly in the morning. I may try that. I make no promises, but I'll try...
Jesker is laying here on the cool floor. The apartment is still cooler than it is outside. The bedrooms are in the shade most of the day and stay cool. The sun shines through the livingroom windows all afternoon and I have the shades two thirds shut, but not completely as this makes me feel claustrophobic. I do want to be able to look outside. I'm drinking diet lemonade to stay cool. It's delicious.
Now you see? That little outing to the hairdresser did me so much good. That was the right thing to do for me. When in emotional need, pamper yourself, that's the lesson. Don't try to be all things for all people. Just try to be good for yourself.
That's all I have to share for now. My mood has climbed back up, I am glad. I have to take advantage of it while I can.
Have a good rest of the day and be good for yourself.