Since today was Thursday, I didn't have any therapy at all, so I could sleep a little bit later. The alarm clock still went off at 7 am, but I shut it off and went back to sleep until 8:30 am. I was expecting the "cleaning person" at 11 am and wanted to get some things done before he got here.
I had washed Jesker's blanket and wanted to vacuum the area rug under the coffee table really well so as to prevent any flea population from developing. I think we are free of fleas so far, but you never know. I also wanted to vacuum the furniture because the sides of everything was covered in dog hair.
But first I wanted to very leisurely wake up and then clean up the kitchen, so I had some cups of coffee while I made cigarettes and watched the world outside go by through the not so clean windows.
After I did all my morning rituals, walk Jesker, take my medication and all those other things, I got to work and just as I was finished, the "cleaning person" showed up and surprised me by suggesting that we wash the living room windows together. That was an offer I was not going to refuse and we went to work while Jesker barked at us, because he thought we were doing strange things.
The result was very clean windows that you can look through without seeing a speck of dirt, so I was mighty pleased and we are going to do the bedroom windows next week. Jesker will think that is even stranger.
I vacuumed the bedroom after the "cleaning person" was gone and made sure the bathroom was cleaned up and I thought that was enough of that. There's only so much cleaning I'm willing to do in one day, so I turned on the computer and had me some quality time there.
My mood has settled on the minus side of the middle, which is not bad and something I can live with and I don't find it difficult at all, but what I didn't realize until tonight is that I am still ultra rapid cycling and that in the afternoon my mood takes a turn for the worse and I really need to go to sleep then to reset the whole mechanism.
The change in mood sneaks up on me and I'm in the middle of it before I realize it and think I've felt that way all day long. I get very downhearted and somber minded and think and do things that I come to regret later after I've slept for a few hours. It's a big black pothole that I've walked in and I don't realize it until afterwards. So I have to keep an eye on that.
I'm a vulnerable person and I guess I always will be and my moods will never be stable for long periods of time. I get upset easily and must always guard over my emotional health. The hard part is, that every time there is a change, I have to remember how to deal with it and pull all the tricks out of my sleeve.
Well, I relearned something today, a little bit the hard way, but I'm on to it now.
Have a good night and a good morning everyone.