Help, I need somebody...

I weigh 95.9 kilos, so that's another 4 ounces gone for me. Om June the 2nd I weighed 97.7 kilos, so I've nearly lost 2 kilos in seven days time. Al together I've lost close to 4 kilos now. I am almost getting scientific about it aren't I? I have to lose 10.9 kilos.

Tomorrow I am going to the store and I am buying muesli bread, which I think will be very nutritious for me. I already have margarine spread with extra vitamins to put on it and I will buy a good lunch meat as well. I'm also buying more mackerel in tomato sauce, because I adore it. I will buy a can for every day. I will buy more multi vitamin juice and low fat milk. I think the bread will be super delicious and filling and healthy. I just hope I can eat a whole slice of it, otherwise the dog gets lucky.

I'm super tired and I don't know why. I haven't done anything really strenuous today. It was just an average ordinary day, although I do walk around with house cleaning worries.

I had four hours of creative therapy today and it went very well, I finished my second doodle, but forgot to take a picture of it and I don't have it here at home. It's laying in my folder in a drawer there. I'll have to remember to do that next week.

The atmosphere in the room is always very good, because everybody is very much absorbed in their projects and there is just the occasional talking going on and all of it very good natured. People praise each other a lot and give lots of encouragement.

There was only one occasion that was disturbing and that was when a young girl was purposely misunderstanding what the plan was for her and being very stubborn about the path that she was following in her therapy and I did make a comment about that and it was resolved afterwards. I don't think you should let these things linger if they disturb the group. Of course, I am very sensitive to these things and have my antennas out to pick these things up quickly. It's in the nature of the beast.

When I got home, I had a cup of coffee and fed the dog and walked him and then got on my bike to see my SPN. It rained just a little bit, but I hardly got wet and I really didn't care, because I have to wash my hair anyway tonight. I wasn't well put together at all, half of my make up was no longer on my face and my hair was messy and my clothes weren't picked with care and I didn't give a hoot. I was to tired to care about it.

I did tell my SPN about my experience with the domestic help and she was surprised , because she was under the impression that they would help me with jobs. I told her the whole thing weighed very heavy on my mind and that it was like a block of cement chained to my leg and that I couldn't see my way clear of it.

I am to discuss this with the domestic help when she comes on Thursday, when I hopefully will have some work done around here. There seems to be a misconception about our expectations and those need to be straightened out.

I was so tired, that I left my SPN prematurely, because I couldn't think straight anymore. I faded out as the conversation went on. If I didn't know better, I'd think I was getting into the blues. One sign of that could be the unopened mail on the coffee table that I am avoiding opening. I'm avoiding other things right now too. It's something I'm just realizing. It's better to recognize things on time and call them by their name. We'll see. I won't cry wolf yet.

It's raining again, but the sun is shining, so it will be a short shower. I have to walk the dog for the last time today. He's asleep right now, but he'll wake up as soon as he hears me rip the baggies of the roll.

I hope you all had a very lovely day with sugar on top and ice cream beside it.

I do so feel like eating something good, but I'm to beat to go to the store now.

Ciao...