A nice cup of tea.

I'm having myself a nice cup of tea. Gold Tea from the triangular bag, and a few spoons of sugar in it. I was just outside with the dog and a cup of hot tea sounded like just the thing to heat up my cold body again. I need the sugar for my sluggish brain, of course. It must wake up and function properly after that nice nap I took late this afternoon. The tea is very good, but I need to make it hotter the next time so it will brew better. I will do that with the next cup.

Nothing exciting at all has happened today. The repairman came and I have heat and hot water again and that is very nice, but it isn't very exciting. I've let the day slip away from me. I filed my income taxes for 2008 on line and it was only a little bit complicated, and I checked my bank account balance to see that I was almost broke. That was not a nice surprise, but saved me the embarrassment of standing by the cash register in the grocery store with not enough money to pay for the groceries. A loan from my sister provided the solution and I will go shopping tomorrow.

I will have to cut down on the amount of books I send each month through Bookmooch, although right now I am in popular demand and stagger my books over monthly shipments as much as possible. So far I've given 21 books and I have to send 22, but I have to make different arrangements for some of them. I have mooched 46 books and am expecting 21 more. I am working on the 4th cubbyhole in my bookcase and they fill up rapidly. I didn't think that I would get so hooked on mooching books, but I am and I get real greedy when I see books that are on my wish list that are available. The only way to get books, is by giving books, although you always get more than you give. I just got the shipment ready for November and will send those off on the 22nd.

Mmm...that second cup of tea is just perfect. I let the water get hotter and let the teabag steep in it for a long time.I forgot how nice a cup of tea can be, especially in the evening. It warms you up and is so soothing. I also have rooibos tea and I will have that next. Actually, what I need now is a nice chocolate bar, but I'm unwilling to go to the store to buy it. I won't sacrifice that much for it. Going out in the cold and dark on my bike, I don't think so.

In order to free a cubbyhole in my bookcase, I have to straighten out some of my administration. I have miscellaneous papers laying there that either need to be filed or tossed out. So that's a little job that I will do this evening or tomorrow. They are the kind of papers I'm not sure of what to do with and I don't know if they need to be saved or what. Just to be on the safe side, I will save most of them, I think. I may come to regret it if I toss them out. I will get the old punch hole out and file them in a two ring folder.

If I'm smart, I'll wash my hair first before I do that, because it's kind of unruly right now and I don't want unruly hair. It's got too much hairspray in it, that's why. It's got kinks in it from me lying on it. I'll also put my pajamas on, so I'll be all ready for bed when the time comes. Then all I need to do is jump in the shower real quick in the morning before I go to creative therapy. Well, I better not jump. I may slip and break my neck.

I thought I was out of dog food and was ready to cook rice and bouillon for the dog, but then I found a can of dog food and he got lucky. I had the dried kind, but he pretends he doesn't eat that. I have a whole bag full of the stuff and Jesker refuses to eat it even though it's supposed to be good for him. He is a spoiled dog.

I'm awfully hungry myself and must scrounge around the kitchen for something edible. I'm sure I'll come up with something. I've been known to eat jars of jam. Maybe there is some chocolate powder left to make hot chocolate with. That sounds like a good idea.

Well, adios my friends, I'm off to wash my hair and to sort my paperwork. Have a good night or a good rest of the day. I'm hoping for a nice long night of sleep.

Ciao,
Nora

So very chilly...

The boiler repairman came yesterday, but he did not have a ventilator, which is what the boiler needs, so he is supposed to come back this afternoon. I hope he keeps his promise, because I'm starting to miss my hot water an awful lot now. I want to put my cold hands into a sudsy sink full of dishes and hot water and I'd like for the apartment to be heated and I'd also like to wash my hair, which is sticking up from sleeping on it and looks kind of spunky, but I'm not so much into the spunky look right now. I'm becoming quite sedate in my late middle age. I was going to say, in my dotage, but it's not quite as bad as that. Not yet anyway.But seriously people, I'm wearing two layers of clothes and my boots and I'm cold. I think I need thermal underwear...

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I pulled on a big sweater and took a huge nap on the sofa. At least I was warm enough to do it. I am still toasty warm now, so that big sweater has made all the difference. Even my hands have gotten warm and my nose also. This sweater is made of wool, so you can't beat that for warmth. I got it from my sister a few years ago and it has been an old stand by ever since. I can pull it on over all of my clothes and be comfortable, or wear it outside when it isn't too cold yet.

The repairman called to say that he would be here tomorrow morning, because he could not get the ventilator today. I know he felt bad for disappointing me, I could tell by the sound of his voice. He promised to be here at 8 am, which I think is very early. I may not be quite up to it then, but I guess I'll have to be. I don't think I'll be dressed by that time, because it is my day off, although in reality it is house cleaning day and grocery shopping day. You know how much I'm looking forward to that, right?

I was talking to another woman today and she said, "You know, house cleaning doesn't at all come naturally to me." And I answered, "Don't feel bad, it doesn't to me either." I think it did when I still had the nesting syndrome when my kids were younger and in theory I could have had another child. I was always being a proper hausfrau then and dragging the vacuum cleaner through the house. In my mind I had another baby once a month and I very often pictured where I would put the playpen and the high chair. So, it wasn't so strange that I was always cleaning up the place in preparation for another child.

But that instinct is completely gone now and I'm not interested in, or getting that much satisfaction out of cleaning house. It's done too often and too dull a job and it comes undone too easily for me to be satisfied with. I don't get that sense of pride from it. If I do get it, the duration is so short, that I hardly notice it. I've just given up caring about it, because of the never ending battle and I do so want carpeting in the living room and hallway. Anything to keep the dust down. I'll do that next year in the summer.

Anyway, It was cold on my bike this morning when I went to creative therapy. The tears were running down my face. I had a snotty nose when I got there, but luckily tissues in my pocket. I had forgotten that I had a different color hair, so I was surprised when people looked at me and did a double take and said," Oh, I like your hair!" The reactions have all been positive, but I really wasn't expecting anything else. I'm pleased with it myself, so I assume people will like it.

I was going to make a doodle this morning and got out all the fine point black pens, but none of them were working well and I had to give up on that project, so I got out an old fashioned pen and a bottle of ink and started to draw with it. I've drawn a continent (made up) and I'm filling it with little drawings of minuscule things. Right now I'm working on tiny flowers that all have to fit together. They don't all have to be the same size, as long as they are small. I don't know yet what else I will draw to fill it up with yet. I have to use my imagination, or look and see what somebody else is doing and get inspired by them. It's itsy bitsy little work and I have to be very patient, but for some reason I am. I like working with that pen, but am a little bit frustrated when I run out of ink and have to dip it in the bottle again. That's how I learned to write when I was a kid, with pen and ink and if you were real good, you got to write in green ink.

Oh yes, Ive changed my template. I've decided that I didn't want to be so obviously out there with my blog page and the header image and the header title. I like this better. It is a little more demure and calm and serene. It pleases my sense of order. It is all very nice and well to try and make your own design, but I like this design from Blogger, although I do wish they had more choice. I hope they catch on to that one day and offer us more to choose from like Wordpress does, but Wordpress has other limitations, so that's why I'm not going back there. You can't just go somewhere for the choice of templates. And don't try to upload those other free Blogger templates, it's not worth the headache you'll get from it.

It's supposed to rain tomorrow and it's not going to be very warm. Well, you do get used to any temperature and as long as the wind isn't blowing too hard, you can stand anything, as long as you're dressed warm enough. We were standing out on the deck today smoking cigarettes and it was not nice out there, but we stood there as if it was a spring day. It even started to sprinkle a little, but we didn't budge. We are die hards. The smoking room was filled with a group of cackling women from the cooking group and I would have felt like I was intruding and so did the others. Actually, come to think of it, the other people who were there out on the deck hardly ever sit in the smoking room. They stand outside in a blizzard. God, I hope we don't get one of those. No snow, please.

I have to walk the dog. We forgot our 6 pm walk and now he is sound asleep and will be hard to get up again. He is snoring, so that means he is way out west. He thinks he's all done for tonight. At least it's not raining now, so we won't get wet.

Have a good evening or a good rest of the day, whatever you can make of it.

Ciao,
Nora

You asked for it...

It's raining outside. I was so busy taking my picture and trying to look my absolute best for it, that I hadn't noticed that it started raining. I don't mind, because I've been out for the day and all I have left to do is walk the dog and I can do that in between showers, or under an umbrella if it's not too bad. Well, I don't want the dog to get too wet, the poor thing. He will get all stinky, because it's time for a trim and a wash for him.

So, I was taking numerous pictures, with and without flash, smiling a lot or a little, frontal and from the side, anything to get a good one, but it is hard when you are middle aged and the camera shows all your faults so harshly. Then I had to upload them to the computer and edit and delete and I deleted a lot of them, didn't even give them a second thought. Gone with them, until I was left with four decent ones and had to make the choice between them. The one that was too cutesy didn't make it. And the one in which I looked sexy didn't either. That left two almost identical photos and I had to choose between the two and I think I picked the right one. My guts told me to go with it. So here it is:


I didn't realize I had such a crooked nose like an old crone, but that must come with age, as does the flabby under chin. Never look down when you're taking your own picture, I learned that lesson. You see I'm not wearing my glasses. I did that for the sake of vanity. I don't want to be photographed wearing my glasses, because they make my nose look big(ger).

I'll tell you what I was up to at my psychiatrist's office yesterday. I cried nearly the whole time I was there, because he put his finger on the sore spot, namely my extreme fear for new, and what I think are unsafe situations. It goes very deep, people. It's a fear that determines much of what I do and do not do in my life and restricts me quite a bit and makes me a solitary homebody, who does not seek the adventure that she would like to. And that knowledge makes me very sad and that is why I cried so much. I cried for the fear and I cried for the sadness.

It's good to say it out loud and to face it and to share it with other people, that that is a motivating factor in much what you do and do not do. To really face up to it and show yourself naked like that, exposed and ready for scrutiny. Of course, what you get is help and compassion, but you don't know that ahead of time. You just sit there and let it all pour out like you've never done before. Both my psychiatrist and my SPN were there and you have to realize how much I have to trust these people in order to let myself go like that.

It was a quite uplifting experience in that I felt a great deal of relief afterwards as if a burden had been lifted off my shoulders. Now I don't feel so alone in this.

I saw my SPN today for half an hour and had a kind of debriefing. We're going to look at the other possibilities of what there is for me to do during the week when my creative therapies end. There are several things I can do and we're going to look at all of them.

To make this story a little bit lighter now, I will tell you that on the way home I stopped by the drugstore and bought Andrelon shampoo and conditioner for brown hair. It is for naturally brown hair as well as colored hair and it is henna based, whatever that means. I also bought myself a Gloria Vanderbilt eau de toilette. I had nothing good smelling left and I thought I deserved a nice cheap scent. I wanted an expensive one, but I couldn't afford it. Those were all behind locked up glass doors. I also went to the tobacco shop, were they failed to recognize me, and added my share of money to the expanding free market, so I've done my good deed for today. The shampoo and conditioner were 40% off, I keep getting good deals.

I can't wash my hair or take a shower or do the dishes, because the boiler isn't working and I'm waiting to hear from the repair man, but I think he has forgotten about me. I called the office, but got none the wiser, so I sit and wait. It's cold in here too, because the radiators aren't working.

Now I feel a huge nap coming on, so I better move to the sofa. That's is after I've eaten something. I have a whole role of biscuits and they taste mighty nice. I ought to have a cup of tea with them.

Alright, that's enough for today.

Ciao,
Nora

Vacuuming...

Because I've done the dishes and cleaned the kitchen and dusted the living room and should now vacuum the same, I am sitting here procrastinating and reading the last of the posts of the blogs that I had not read yet.

I am avoiding vacuuming and trying to tell myself that I can do other things instead, such as fold two loads of dry laundry which are hanging outside and on the drying rack in the bathroom, and then iron the clothes that are too wrinkled to hang straight back into my closet.

If I do those things instead, will I be excused from vacuuming and will I be allowed to sweep instead? I think so. I've pretty much convinced myself and the day isn't over yet and there is lots of time to do all the things I plan to do.

I changed my bed last night and there is nothing better than sleeping between clean sheets on clean pillow cases and if I were completely nuts, I'd do it every other day for the pleasure of it. I used to know someone who put clean sheets on her bed every day, but she had a dryer and I can't compete with that. I need at least two days to wash the sheets and get them dry. That is if the weather co-operates. If they have to dry inside, it may take longer.

The water coming from my hot water heater is so hot, that it's nearly boiling, so I have to look in a while to see if I can lower the temperature, because I don't need it quite that hot. I can barely do the dishes in it without burning myself and have to add cold water. So it's too hot and a waste of energy. I wear rubber gloves, but they hardly help and today I broke a glass and I think it was because of the heat, because I wasn't manhandling it.

Jesker has little bitty bones in his bowl, but his sight is so bad, that from a distance he doesn't see them and he stands beside me barking in the direction of his bowl. I say to him, "Go see, go get them," but that only makes him bark harder, so I have to get up and show him one of the little bitty bones. Finally he catches on and realizes that he has to keep going back to his bowl, even though he doesn't see anything. That's because of the cataracts. Jesker is becoming a dog with an instruction booklet.

I come with an instruction booklet myself. "Needs to blog after doing several household chores!" I don't even switch the computer off anymore in the afternoon. I'm either working behind the computer or listening to music on Deezer while I do my chores. I used to have a radio, but I'm without one now and I don't think I'll invest in one soon, because I don't like most radio stations. Even the Jazz Station plays very middle of the road jazz, very safe jazz that the lowest common denominator will like, so you can't expect anything exciting there.

Okay, onward Christian Soldiers! Up to my next chores. I must do at least three things before I get to sit down here again. That's a rule I just made up. I do have to keep a reign on myself.

See you in the next post!

Ciao...

Those guys...

Those guys who were installing the boiler yesterday gave me a hard time and teased me mercilessly when they found out I was a single woman living on my own, especially when they found out that one of their colleagues was interested in me and they tried to set me up on a date with him, until we discovered what the age difference was and then they really started teasing both him and me. It was all done in good fun and it made the day go by quickly, until they were done in the early afternoon around 2:30.

I've got a wonderful new boiler now that doesn't start up with a whoosh and make a racket while it heats the water and a brand new thermostat that is digital and reads in half degrees Celsius. I keep telling myself that this is a good thing and that it is going to save me money, but it is true that I can choose the temperature that I want in the apartment more carefully now. One degree can make all the difference between paying more or less for my energy bill.

The old boiler was at least as old as the apartment, so about 20 years and that is about the realistic life of one. Or, as one of the installers said, they'd be out of a job if they lasted much longer than that. Replacement is the way to go when they start showing signs of wear and tear, as mine did. The man who had been here to fix mine, had turned up the internal thermostat and the water came out piping hot. Much too hot. I guess that was the only way he got it to work.

The Exfactor came by when the installers were just finishing their job and much joking around was done about me having a boyfriend on a motorcycle, which I left them to believe for a while was true, until one of them guessed that he was my ex. I don't know how he figured that one out. Much joking around was done about that fact too and many innuendos were made. Cheeky, they were!

Oh, before I forget, I have to direct you to an interesting site. It is called Dreamlines and you can go there here! What you do is, type in a few keywords from a dream you had, and graphic images will appear in a little while that will illustrate your dream. Be patient, because sometimes a blank page appears and then sometimes it is followed by more images. It is a very unique experience. I am sure you will enjoy it.

And something else. I came by this award the way I seem to come by them all lately and that is quite easily by visiting someone's blog and just picking it up, because I am allowed to and getting their blessings afterwards.


I got this at Lane's Write, so I must give a great big thank you to Lane who I owe this to. I don't know if you all lack the same amount of shyness that I do, but I assume that you will do what I did and just take this award for yourself and plant it on your blog. That's what it's there for. People nowadays don't seem to be handing out awards anymore in the conventional way, so you just pick them up as you go along. It's a free for all, it seems. It's like collecting trading cards.

Heck, now I got distracted looking for blogging awards on Google and another 30 minutes have passed, but I did find some. I will see what I can do with them. Mmm...

So you guys, the Überhund is standing here impatiently waiting for me to take him out and I suppose I will go and do that now. The poor guy is always waiting for me to get done behind the computer and waits and waits...

Have a really terrific Saturday. I'm going over to my sister's whose birthday it is today.

Ciao...

As I write this...

As I write this, I am waiting for the men to come to install my new hot water heater. They should be here any minute now. I heard a van pull up, but since then all has been silence. I think a hot water heater is called a boiler in England and I am not sure what it is called in the States, but it is the thing that gives me hot water throughout the apartment, including the radiators for the central heating, so getting a new one is a big deal. I hope this one is even more efficient than the old one, so more cost effective and ecologically sound.

I forgot to tell you about the great cardigan that I bought on Wednesday afternoon at a textiles shop. It is black with a big collar and two big buttons and it is almost as long as my skirt. I got it for 10 Euros and, although I did not want to spend any money on myself this month, I could not resist getting it at that price. It looks very classy and more expensive and it is very warm.

I also had to get a present for my sister whose birthday it is tomorrow. I got her a pretty necklace with beads that shimmer in any kind of light and look like crystals. They are threaded with very thin wire and seem to float in the air and there are three strings of them at unequal lengths. My sister loves necklaces as much as I do, so I know she will be happy with this one.

Well, the men with the boiler are here now and they've started the job. I am curious as to how long it will take them too install it. This is the first time in my life that I've ever gotten a new boiler, so it's quite an event. The cats and the Überhund are quite curious as well.

I'll try and not be too distracted by all of this and get on with writing.

Yesterday wasn't a very eventful day, it being Thursday and so far a day off for me, although it may not be much longer. I have an appointment next week with someone to see if I can fill up either my Thursday or my Friday mornings with a useful activity. It will be in the same building where I have my creative and ergo therapies now, but in a different kind of program and a special request needed to be made for it. It is possible that I will do another creative class on Thursdays, but anything is possible. We'll see. I am glad that I'm getting the opportunity.

I swept the apartment with a broom, because I didn't want to be bothered by the noise of the vacuum cleaner, but now, of course, I still have to vacuum the furniture, there's no way around it. The Überhund is shedding much less, but there still is an amazing amount of hair after a few days that all hides under the furniture. It is very satisfactory to sweep it all up into the dustpan.

The Überhund is having a wonderful time. Full of interest he is watching the men at work and commenting on their every move and when they go out to their van, he trots along behind them to see what they do there. He is so alert and in between this, he comes back to me and lies at my feet as if to reassure himself that everything is okay. The cats are climbing over the boxes and the equipment and are very curious. We don't often have such entertainment here.

At the end of the afternoon yesterday, I fell asleep on the sofa and was out cold for a while until the phone rang. It was someone who wanted to know if I wanted a subscription to a newspaper and I would, except that it is so expensive and I really can't afford it. If I could only get the Saturday newspaper, I would do that and I have to look into the possibility of getting that kind of subscription for my favorite newspaper, which was, believe it or not, originally a Christian newspaper, but it is a very informative one with excellent opinion pages and very interesting articles. I miss reading it.

The google reader keeps me updated on the blogs I read, but lately I have decided that I read too many and I have eliminated a few of them. There were just too many I was trying to keep track off and, although they all had their appeal, some of them had to go. Some were new to me and I had to make the decision if I wanted to invest my energy into really getting to know them better or to stop reading them. If they were more than fascinating, I kept them. It is really bad if you don't get around to reading your very favorites, you can't have that. I really do have my favorites, but I'm not going to tell you here who those are. That's for you to figure out.

All of the shops are open one night a week until 9 PM once a week on Thursdays. I purposely forget that this is so, because it is very tempting to go downtown then and walk through the festively decorated streets and sit in a café and watch all the people go by and maybe pop into a store and buy something very appealing. The café terraces are even pleasant to sit on, if you keep your coat on, because they are heated by space heaters that are quite efficient.

You can bet that it is very busy downtown now, because there is Winter Wonderland on the big square with an ice skating rink and the Christmas market with many stalls. Since I am not in that kind of mood, I try to ignore that bit of it and only incidentally try to catch glimpses of the festivities, which, I admit, is difficult.

I suppose that this weekend, I should write some Christmas cards and get in the mood a little bit. I am feeling some resistance, but I suppose it must be done. This will be the first time that I'll sign the cards with my maiden name. I have never done so before and it will be quite an experience. Some people I will have to inform and I will have to add a little note.

The guys that are installing the boiler are quite funny. They want to know everything about me and the animals, so in between all the activities, they are getting to hear my life story and are entertained. They also saw my young, divorced neighbor and wanted to know all about her, so I told them what I could. They are hoping to install a new boiler there soon.

Well, everything must come to an end and so must this. It has become a rambling sort of thing, but that's okay.

I hope you have a wonderful day.

Ciao...

The Boisterous Butterfly-by.

I've decided to give myself a different blogging name for awhile, as I sometimes need change in my life, well, let's be honest, I need change in my life on a regular basis and while I like the foundations to be solid, just like the frame work, I like the decorative elements to take on different shapes and colors and styles. This obviously also has to do with my fascination for clothes and the transforming qualities they have. I like to change the look of my blog, but this time I also wanted to blog under a different name and it was done in a flash. Easy as pie. Of course you will all know it is I, because I didn't change my profile picture, I didn't want to confuse you or purposely misguide you, although that would have been a bit of a joke, but that was not my purpose.

I did it on pure impulse to show how easy it is to do it and now maybe Stinking Billy will change his name to Sweet William, seeing as though it is so easy. Actually, that is not quite right, I had played with the notion of Butterfly for a couple of days, but didn't quite know how I wanted to go about it until tonight. There is something to be said for anonymity as well, although I have probably blown my cover for good already. Let's pretend I didn't. Let's pretend you don't know who in the world I am and I am just some unknown Dutch blogger who happens to blog in English and does it fairly well.

The Überhund is sitting next to me making very desperate noises. I am not sure what they mean, but I think he wants to go out again.

Well, I let him out back and he piddled and I gave him food and fresh water and he is eating, so maybe that has satisfied him for now, but I have a feeling he will be by my side again in the shortest amount of time and then I'll really have to take him out. It's so unpleasant to go out when it is cold out.

The darn water heater is acting up again. Once in a great while it starts up, but mostly not as of this morning. So, no heat in the apartment and no hot water, isn't that swell? No nice hot showers! Cold hands! Brrrrr...layers of clothes, well...that is good, I guess...

The Überhund ate all of his food, so obviously I am not always picking up his signals right. I see that I have to go through a whole repertoire of actions to get to the right one. He likes his food!

Well, now I am getting into my warm and cozy pajamas and my even warmer bathrobe and I am going to turn on the TV. Enough of this computer already!

Ciao...