Sunday, January 26, 2014

Climb every mountain

It would be very nice if I were a bit manic now, but much to my regret, I am not. Not that I'm depressed, but I am in that in between mood that doesn't signify much at all and that I think is very dull and boring. It is good to be in if you have to do the odd chore or two, but it certainly doesn't make them very exciting, and if I knew that I always had to go through life like this, I would seriously step out of it prematurely. I can't imagine always having a dull, mediocre life and it must be for people who don't have much going for them and who lack intelligence. I do know a few of them and I now know what their problem is. 

But I would like to be a bit manic because life would be much more sunny and exciting, so I am going to try and make it that way myself. First I am going to try to write a sparkling post and after that I am going to put the trash out in the pouring rain. If that is not a thrilling experience, I don't know what is. I may possibly get drenched and end up having to take a shower when I was not planning on it, because anything unexpected is welcome. I do like to live by the seat of my pants. I don't quite know what that means, but it sounds right, so I added it. 

Taking a nap was the least thrilling experience I had today, but just before I did, I started to fall asleep in the desk chair adding one element of danger and I even started to have mild hallucinations. I don't know if that is my mind making up things on its own or if it is a combination of the medicines. The hallucinations are an interesting experience and similar to being high on LSD, which I tried when I was a teenager. I know you can have flashbacks much later in life and maybe this is what these are. I know when they happen, it is a signal that I have to go to sleep no matter what time of the day it is. 

The most exciting thing I did was take Tyke for a walk in the rain, but I was grateful that it was not snowing and sleeting the way it is up north. All that happened is that we got wet and Tyke was easily dried with the big towel that always lies at the ready in the hallway. He does understand that this is part of the program and when I tell him that he has to wait to be dried off, he does and does not run into the living room to rub himself dry on the area rug. He is a pretty smart dog. 

All in all it has not been a thrilling day at all no matter how much I try to make it sound like one in this artificial attempt to become a bit manic. I sure as heck am trying hard enough. I suppose you can't make it happen when you want to, no matter what. It has to happen all by itself in its own time. 

1 comment:

Rob-bear said...

Sorry to hear you've had a less-than-thrilling day. I had an utterly-unmotivated day. It was grey and cold when I got up, and that set the theme. I really didn't accomplish much. But I didn't sleep all afternoon, so that was good. I got some reading done.

Taking the trash out in the rain sounds so un-exciting. Leave it for tomorrow. Taking Tyke for a walk is a good thing, even in the rain. (Gandhi would not approve of being put out in the rain, I think.)

And yes, it is possible that the meds you're taking, combined with other stressors, could lead to hallucinations. I've never had that happen to me, so I canoe no wisdom on the matter.

Blessings and Bear hugs!