One thing I ought not to do again, and that is run out of tranquilizers like I did yesterday. By the time I got the emergency supply from my GP, I was just about bouncing off the walls. If that is not a good description, let's just say that I was highly agitated and it took more than one pill to settle me down again, but at least I did in the end. I think my mind wants to be hypomanic, but it is the pills that prevent it from being so. On unguarded moments, the hypomania does rear its ugly head. It is that I am so much aware of it, otherwise it would have just taken over and I would be far from home by now.
Yesterday was a very stormy day, but then it had been the night before also. Outside, the wind whipped at me from every possible direction and it was a challenge to take Tyke out for a walk,. But I have to be honest with you and tell you that I really like the violence of the wind like a true Dutch woman and like to be outside in it. Tyke must be a true Dutch dog , because he likes it stormy also, although it nearly blows him off his feet. It's at times like this, when the wind nearly blows me over, that I remember being at the seaside and having it come at me at full gale force. If anything totally and completely blows the cobwebs from your mind, it is a storm like this. It cleanses you down to your very bones.
I suppose that I am glad that it is just an ordinary weekend now and not some sort of holiday. At least we get a bit of a respite until New Year's eve when all the fireworks will be set off. I am more than ready for an ordinary weekend with ordinary television programs, because I feel deprived of culture and I will get that starting this morning. I can't believe that I was temporarily under the illusion that I could do without a television because it is the cultural programs that I enjoy watching the most. There must be a god in heaven after all when I can get so much of it on my plate in two days worth of time. And I can do so sitting very comfortable in my big leather chair where there is room for all the paraphernalia I need to keep at hand and room for Tyke and Gandhi to sit on my lap also. What more could a woman ask for?
It is time again to appreciate the small things in life now that all the hullaballoo of Christmas is over. After all that glitz and glitter I can pay attention to what matters most in my everyday life and they are just the ordinary little things. I think that is what is so distracting about a major holiday, that you lose sight of that. I do like things a bit low key and less noisy. I don't need for things to be in an uproar for weeks on end. I have that tendency of my own enough.