I am basically bullshitting my way through this job application business. I send off my résumé with self assured notes that make the people who receive them think I am exactly the employee they are looking for, totally disregarding the fact that maybe I am not qualified for the job. Of course, I have a high enough opinion of myself that I think I am qualified for many of them and that I can learn any skill I don't have now. As a matter of fact, this weekend I am going to learn how to use Microsoft Word Excel because it is a requirement for one of the jobs I applied for. Luckily, there is a Belgian website where I can learn this for free and while I am there, I will see what else I can learn that is handy. The requirements for any job are tough because people have such a high level of education here.
It is also my plan to get some extra sleep this weekend because I do realize that I function much better if I have had enough of it. Whenever I hit a point during the day that I start to feel insecure or the least bit down, I know that I need to take a solid nap and that I will feel like a reborn woman afterwards. This works so well, that I have been staying up later in the evenings and have been getting extra things done when I usually would have hit the sack much earlier. As a matter of fact, this whole realization that I have to get a job has made me more alert and engaged and has put a different perspective on all the things I do during the day. It certainly has changed the emphasis on what is important and what isn't. A lot of little things don't seem to matter so much anymore.
My physical health has taken a backseat and, although I still am in pain, I don't pay attention to it so much and figure that in the end it doesn't matter until I have the time to properly take care of the underlying cause. If I get a job, this may not be for some time because I am sure I will not be able to take time off for surgery. I will walk around with a bum knee and accept that. I don't mind not being preoccupied with my body and letting something else be more important now. I am certainly not going to use it as an excuse not to reach my goal because I don't have the luxury to afford that. I don't want to feel helpless now but empowered.
I like having this faith in myself and to think I can succeed. There is much possible in my opinion and I do as yet not have much fear in my heart. I think I did for the first 24 hours, but I got over that. No doubt this will return at the appropriate times. I just have to keep acting like I can pull this off and that I will recuperate from the tough moments.