Friday, December 13, 2013

Clear signs of sanity.

I wasn't sure if I was going to be entertained enough only listening to the radio and not automatically wanting to turn on the television whenever I sat down in my armchair to have a cup of coffee, but I need not have worried because I managed just fine. As a matter of fact, while I listened to the radio, my thoughts would stray and I would start to think about other things that I normally didn't get around to thinking about, busy as I was looking at the images on the television screen. I noticed that I tuned into the sound of the radio whenever what was talked about was very interesting, and then let my mind wander when it was not.
I don't at all turn the radio off during the day and don't actually feel much need to watch any television programs I missed on the internet, because the news and the talk shows are so good on the radio. I am sure that will be different over the weekend when there will be lots of cultural programs on television that I do need to watch. I will need the visual input. The nice thing about listening to the radio is too, that you can do all sorts of other things while doing that and so you are multi-tasking, which is one of those things you ought to be able to do in the 21st century.
I talked to the Exfactor and told him about the changes I was making in my energy and internet providers and he said that it sounded very logical and sensible. When I talked about it over the phone with my niece later, she said the same thing. I think as long as I am checking my behavior with other people, I am still doing okay. I think it is when I start doing things secretly that I am in trouble. For some reason, when I am hypomanic, I have a tendency not to go into the finer details of what I am up to, but only give a vague sort of impression. I suppose that subconsciously I don't want anyone to spoil my fun or want to be caught doing something that I ought not to be doing.
I have a tendency to have exaggerated feelings of guilt and I try to compensate for them by not feeling any at all, but I sometimes bounce between extremes of the two. It is the best road to walk in the middle of the two and I know I am doing well when I can do that and not give it any thought. I very quickly think I am doing something wrong and will tell a white lie to cover up something that is really an innocent action, but when found out, looks suspicious. That's how you get a bad reputation, so don't ever do that.

1 comment:

Gail said...

Sounds to me like you are doing fantastic. I am so pleased for you.