Saturday, December 07, 2013

How to get the most enjoyment...

For the pain in my hip, but especially for my knee, I have got capsules that have a bit of morphine in them, and I have to tell you that I enjoy taking them very much, especially the ones that are the higher dose that I take in the evening. Not only do they work for the pain, but they also make me feel very good mentally and I think I like them even better than taking tranquilizers or smoking grass. One capsule takes away whatever stress or anxiety I have and makes me feel that whatever happens, I can survive it.
I would always like to feel the way I do when I have taken the higher dose and wish I could stay on them forever, but I know I am not getting a refill after these are gone, so I am very put out. I have enough left to last the weekend, but on Monday morning I will take the last one and you can be sure I will call the GP's office and try to get a prescription for something similar to them if they will not give me more of the same.
I read that one is not supposed to get addicted to these, but I suspect differently. With my personality and tendency to abuse things, I bet I am already addicted to them and that I can't do without. Well, I should not really say that I abuse things, because so far it has only been coffee and cigarettes and I know well enough to stay away from booze and drugs. Their effects have never been subtle enough for me to really like them. I am clearly someone who gets hooked on prescription medicines and I have already looked to see if I could get this pain medication without a prescription on line. It was not possible.
Not that I have the money to buy medication on line. I hardly have money to buy food and, as it is, several important bills are being left unpaid. I have never had a situation like this and it does worry me, but because of these capsules, I am staying very calm and collected. I know it does not help to get all worked up about and I have done whatever I could to improve the situation. It is a matter of fate now. I should always be this free of stress and anxiety and not go down in flames. It is something I have wished for all my life.


Wisewebwoman said...

Be careful.
Maybe talk to your support team?
I speak as a cross-addicted addict myself.

Rob-bear said...

I'm glad you're feeling better, but am sorry about the complications. Pain management is not particularly well understood by many doctors, and that lack of knowledge can really mess peoples' lives up, badly. I've had two particularly good pain management doctors, and even my family doctor is fairly well clued in.

Duloxetine (sold under several brand names, like Cymbalta) is excellent for managing both depression and chronic pain, both of which are continuing presences in my life. I have been taking it regularly for a couple of years, and it makes a great difference. I'm pretty sure it is non-addicting. Perhaps you could check it out yourself.

Blessings and Bear hugs!