Released.

It's late at night, but I don't yet feel like going to bed at all. It's very cozy here right now. The cats are hanging around and Jesker is rolling around on the floor pretending he's a puppy, which he sometimes does in his old age. He just woke up from a long nap and wanted some attention and something to eat, which I have just given him.

I've spent the evening reading blogs and commenting on them and answering emails. I keeps me busy and off the street where a well brought up woman like me has no business hanging around. Could you see me now, hanging out on street corners, decked out in my finest, trying to drum up business? The idea alone gives me the shivers.

Besides, I'm too much of a homebody to be out at night. I need to know that my bed is within a short walking distance in case I'm suddenly attacked by sleep, which can happen in a moment without much notice. Since I've exchanged bedrooms, my bed is even more appealing than the sofa ever was and the cats feel the same way, because I regularly share the bed with at least one of them. Gandhi wins that battle most often, causing Toby to feel left out and moping on the kitchen counter.

I don't care if they want to sleep on the bed, as long as I get to stretch out completely and I don't have to sleep in some convoluted way that's uncomfortable and makes me wake up with sore legs. I am not in the least bit nice about sharing the space if they get in the way and I take up all the room I want. They have to accommodate me. I'm so glad the dog doesn't sleep on the bed. We would have major issues about the space.

Oh yes, this morning I weighed 93.1 kilos, so I'm coming up on 7 kilos lost. Just a little bit more.

At creative therapy this morning, I ate 5 pieces of nougat that were sitting in a dish right in the middle of the table waiting for me to have some. Well really, what did you expect me to do? And yesterday I ate 5 chocolates or maybe 6, I lost count. Those sort of things fill me up for quite a long time and it takes a while before I'm hungry again. I never say no to anything sweet. I'm not that kind of dieter. I'm an opportunistic sweets eater. I never say no to cookies either. That´s why I´m the Cookie Monster.


Sometimes I have to take my regular glasses off behind the computer and put on my reading glasses and then I get up forgetting that I´m wearing those, because in my head I´m just registering that I´m wearing glasses. It doesn´t dawn on me that my vision is impaired for distance and I start to take the dog out wearing my reading glasses and I´m already out the door before I realize it. I just shove them to the top of my head and continue on instead of going back in to get my proper glasses, but it´s mighty confusing, because they somewhat look alike too. I swear I have the makings in me to be an absent minded professor, except that I don´t have the qualifications to be one.

Now, every time I go out the door, I look at something far away to make sure I have the right glasses on and even then I doubt my own judgment. I get so confused.

How many people second guess themselves about something when they go out and wonder if they´ve forgotten to put on an article of clothing? Suddenly you feel under dressed somewhere and you are convinced that something is missing and a slight panic attacks you until you´ve checked yourself and realize that everything is there.

Well, I suppose I ought to go to bed now, sensibility tells me I ought to, because I do have to get up at 7 am tomorrow morning. Not that I am in the least bit interested, but I guess everybody has a voice of reason inside of them that shouts at you when you´re trying to get away with something, although I am doing my best to ignore it. I would much rather stay up and do ten other things instead, because I´m past the point of needing to go to sleep.

It´s really a damn shame that I have such a well developed sense of responsibility. Or should I call it duty. I could do with a little less of it and not be so damn obedient all the time. A little bit of rebelliousness wouldn´t be out of place. It might actually become me.

But no, I have to go and be good, because otherwise I will not be able to pull myself together into a well functioning human being in the morning and I will need forever to get my act together. There, that´s the voice of reason and I don´t want to sleep through the happy cheerful beeping of the alarm clock.

So, adieu, parting is such sweet sorrow, until we meet again...

Ciao...