Waiting for the rain to stop...

I'm waiting for the rain to stop, so I will be able to go to the gas station to buy cigarettes, but it looks like there's no end to it. I may have to bundle up and ride my bike through the rain and get wet. There are worse things, of course, but it's no pleasure I'm looking forward to. It's not something you do voluntarily. I'll have to do it to take care of my nicotine addiction, but that's not really voluntarily. That's more like I'm driven to. 

I also still have to take Tyke out for a walk and knowing him, he would not really mind going out in the rain, providing I would rub him dry well with a towel afterwards. If I'm going to get wet anyway, I may as well take him for a walk too. I may as well pretend I enjoy it and do this for my daily living. Mailmen have to go out in it, after all. I have yet to hear our mailman complain about the weather. Except when there's a heatwave. 

The really good part is that it's Friday evening and that means that it's officially weekend now, though why that should be such a big deal to me still puzzles me. For some reason I still think the weekend is special, because I can do what I want and with that I mean, sleep whenever I want to. As if I don't do enough of that during the week. I sure make a big deal out of sleeping, don't I? It seems to be such an important thing to me. I'm either short of it or doing too much of it. I never find the right balance. Or very rarely. 

I think I will buy enough cigarettes to last me all weekend so I will not have to worry about having to go to the store, because I just know that it's going to be emotionally stressful for me to go. Whatever I do now, will prevent me from having to do it later at a worse time. I anticipate anxiety and I want to be one step ahead of it. I have to make it as uncomplicated as I can. Getting wet in the rain is the least of my worries. At least I don't wear make up that can run.

I do wish I had a car. Those of you with cars, who take that for granted, don't know how lucky you are and how it simplifies your life. Things are so much easier when you have a car. I drove a car for 22 years, so I remember. 

I'm going to take Tyke for a walk before it gets too late. See you in a while...

...so, I have gone to the gas station as well and got my supply of cigarettes and a chocolate bar. I couldn't resist it, not after having been out in the rain and wind. It was very stormy and wet on the bike, the walk with Tyke was a piece of cake compared to it. 

Now it is still a decent time in the evening and I'm all done doing things, except for hanging up a load of laundry. I'll do that tomorrow when I'll also change my bed. Oh, I can't wait to have clean sheets on the bed. What a joy! I know someone who only changes her sheets once every two weeks. I can't believe that. Maybe I'll even change the sheets tonight. That would make me excited about going to bed. I need all the excitement I can get. George Clooney is still not in there. 

Well, I think I will knit an end to this post, as we say here. I'm going to see what other kind of trouble I can get into. Oh yes, I'm going to change the bed...

Have a good evening!

Ciao,
Nora

Election Day!

I slept 7 hours last night. I went to sleep at 10 pm and had to go to the toilet at 1:30 am. It crossed my mind briefly to stay up, but then dismissed that as a very silly idea and went back to bed and was asleep again in a second after my head hit the pillow, so you can see what a very silly idea that had been. Can you imagine me even considering that? It's a good thing that even I have some common sense.

When I got up, I was really ready to get up and the first thing I did was turn on the computer because, god forbid, I can't miss those first few hours behind the computer. I made myself a cup of coffee and was ready to be woken up properly and answer my emails. Now, however, I've started to yawn again and I've just made my second cup of coffee, because I don't want to go back to bed to sleep some more. Enough is enough.

This morning I have to go vote. It's very important that I do. I'm not going to vote for the party of my choice, but for the party that stands the most chance at beating the Liberal Democrats and that I won't be unhappy about seeing as the coalition leader. If they deliver the prime minister, then that's okay with me. Their coalition will be one I can live with. It will be a socialist coalition. So, I'm voting strategically. The Liberal Democrats have the same attitude as conservative American Republicans, so I don't know why they call themselves Liberal Democrats. It's very misleading.

This afternoon I have a date with my friend Yvonne on the Our Dear lady Square at our favorite café. It's been a long time since we've met there, I won't even attempt to count the months, and it's about time we saw each other there. It will be nice to sit out on the terrace and have our coffees and watch the people go by while we chat. I'm sure we'll have a lot of chatting to do, although we have seen each other in that time. Yvonne is a loyal friend and has been there for me when times got rough. The only problem is that it has started raining and it's supposed to rain on and off all day today, so there may be a problem getting there on my bike. I'll have to wait and see how that turns out.

My mood seems improved. I don't have that confused feeling anymore, nor that feeling of being overwhelmed. It seems that sleep always restores a lot and I think that maybe it is better if I start taking naps again during the day, because I think I'm pushing past my energy levels. It's not physical exhaustion that bothers me, but mental tiredness and that can be very draining. It tends to mix up your feelings and to impair the way you cope with them and to also bring the worst of them to the surface. It makes a mess of your thought processes and keeps you from thinking clearly and coming to the right conclusions.

That's what exhaustion does to you. It takes a long time to catch up on a missing night's sleep, is my experience. It upsets your whole biorhythm. I suppose some people are more sensitive to that. Me being one of them. I don't do well with changes anyway and need for my life to be very predictable and have everything go the same familiar way day in day out. I do, at times, have an adventurous spirit, though, and used to like roaming in my car and go wherever the road took me and see whatever there was to see. As long as I had my dependable car to transport me. I haven't driven a car in more than 16 years and with that have given up a lot of my freedom.

Well, I have to go wash my hair and get dressed and then Tyke and I are going to walk to the voting place. Keep your fingers crossed for the fate of the Netherlands today. A lot depends on it.

Ciao,
Nora

Sunday later in the day...

After I wrote my post this morning, and spent some time downloading more wallpaper, I took the dog for a walk in the snow. It was cold outside and there was a wind blowing from the south and it was not warm as you might expect it to be, all warm things coming from the south. It was a cold wind and whipped around me with snow flurries and I shivered and made the dog hurry as quickly as possible. When I got home, I immediately changed clothes, because what I was wearing wasn't warm enough and I dug into my closet to find warmer clothing. Now I'm wearing things I haven't worn in quite some time, but I'm much more comfortable. I couldn't fit into last year's skinny jeans, but they wear always a questionable size, so I'm not surprised. Instead, I'm wearing two pairs of leggings and the top pair is Turkish and are more like pants with a skirt attached to them over which I'm wearing a long sleeved tunic, under which I'm wearing a long sleeved T-shirt.

I wore my woolly hat pulled down to my eyebrows the second time we went out, because it hasn't stopped snowing all day, but the dog got snowed on and little clumps of snow collected on his long ears. My boots served their function well and kept my feet dry and warm, they are good boots. We have to go out again in a little while and will have fun walking around in the thick layer of snow that may be gone again tomorrow, because it's going to be 2C and it's going to rain. I would rather have snow than rain, but the rain is only supposed to be an interlude and then we will have snow again. We may have a white Christmas.

I didn't waste my day, but got 10 books ready to ship and it was a lot of work, because I have to find the right envelope to fit the book in and get it in good enough shape to get it to close again and take the address label. I use used envelopes that people have sent me books in and so far it has worked well, but it is extra work to make them look presentable. Then I have to find the right book to go with the right address, but I have a whole system for that and it goes like clockwork. I make all the address labels first and write on the back of each which book goes with it, so when I get ready to fix that package, I get the book off the shelf and not sooner. It prevents confusion.

I was going to keep being this industrious and pay my bills, only to find out that my check had not been deposited in my bank account yet. So that kind of put a cramp in my style. I hope it's there on Monday. Instead of paying bills, I will have to hang up the laundry. That will be industrious too.


I just walked the dog again and it is less cold outside. There is hardly any wind and is has stopped snowing. There are footsteps in the snow everywhere and sled tracks. People have swept the sidewalks in front of their houses leaving little treacherous snowy patches that are slippery, so you'd rather just walk in the snow. All good intentions go astray.

Oh no, after I came home from walking the dog the first time this morning, I didn't immediately change my clothes. I went back to bed first. I slept for 3 more hours! How could I have forgotten that? It was wonderful and ever so cozy in bed. I had my book and I had eaten breakfast and I was warm and snug under the duvet and I think this is a very good habit to keep, because I am cold when I get home and I do always want some more sleep and there is no better place to be than in bed with my book. As a matter of fact, I am yawning now and I will have to try an draw out bedtime as long as possible so I don't go to bed too early, but isn't sleeping wonderful? I think it is one of my hobbies. I'm a connoisseur of sleep.

The problem with the woolly hat is that it ruins your hairdo. It makes your hair totally flat and stick to your skull so you look like a monkey. You can't be seen in polite company like that and you should just keep your hat on. No wonder that society women never take their hats off when they are at a function. They would look ridiculous. I'm already constantly wearing my scarf, I should just constantly wear my woolly hat too. I'm sure I would be thought of as eccentric and then I would start to wear purple. Possibly I would start wearing long underwear too and always be warm, and fingerless gloves.

I'm very happy in my Turkish pants. They keep me warm and the skirt keeps me modest under my tunic, because the tunic is just a bit too short to wear as a mini dress. If I were a teenager, I'm sure I could get away with it, but I'm an old woman and can't. I do always have to keep my age in mind when I dress, because I can't do the things I'd always like to do and that is dress without a care in the world and just put on whatever I feel like. There are limits to what I can get away with, although my legs aren't bad looking from a certain point down. I'm always very happy to be wearing leggings, because they cover up many details that I don't care to show, although I don't have anything as unsightly as varicose veins, knock on wood!

I have more tunics in my closet that I haven't worn in a while and I have another pair of Turkish pants in another color, so I'm all set for the cold weather. Not to speak of cute little sweaters that can go over them if need be. Layers, that's what it takes. I'm all set for the cold, although I still despise riding my bike in it and would so very much prefer to own a car and be warm and comfortable in one. Let's face it, though, There is no car in my future. Unless it's one of those little things that's only allowed to go 45km an hour and for which you need a scooter license. That's such a typical old people car and I would feel very funny driving one, but I wouldn't hesitate if I could get one. If they gave me one, that is.

I'm used now to taking only two tablets of anti psychotics. I don't feel funny anymore. I take one during the day and the other one at night and that seems to work just fine. I don't think I can wait with the one during the day and take it later, but it isn't necessary. It's not making me drowsy once I've had enough sleep. I always worry a bit about decreasing my medication, because I don't know what effects it will have on me, but I really only had one bad day and one not so bad day. Today I was fine and didn't notice anything adverse. I thought I was going to have a tougher time longer.

Well, it's time to go hang up the laundry and put the trash outside. Brrr... I'll have to go out there again. I'll concentrate on the laundry first, that's much more pleasant. Oh, and I have to put away all the clothes that I wore last week that didn't go into the laundry basket. It's always something. I don't like putting away my clothes because the closet is too full.

Have a nice evening and try to stay warm by the fire, if you have one.

Ciao,
Nora

Really?

I can't believe I did it, but I slept until 9 o'clock this morning. How did I manage that, for goodness sake? Regardless, it was wonderful. I hope to do that many more times when I don't have anywhere to go in the morning. I was up during the night to go to the toilet, but I had enough sense to withstand the urge to stay up and start blogging, which would have been a very insensible thing to do and I guard myself from them. I have to be my own adult and make the right choices. I don't even remember falling asleep again, so I was not really quite awake when I had the thought to stay up.

Now I am sitting here quite contend in my pajamas with my mug of coffee. The Überhund has had his breakfast and his piddle out back and is laying by my side. Pretty soon I'll really have to take him out, but for right now he is asleep. If I move gently, I won't disturb him and he'll let me sit here for a while longer. Oh no, I spoke too soon, now he is looking at me with begging eyes. There, I've let him out back again. I am not quite ready yet to get dressed.

There are moments that I want to savor and draw out as long as possible and this is one of them. It is nice and warm inside and the sun is shining outside and everything feels just right. I don't want it to end.

The new TV Guide came in the mail, but it is the one for next week. Still, I could look in it last night and get some idea of the programming for that night and I watched a bit of television, but I fell asleep sitting straight up on the sofa and missed the most important programs. That's not very helpful, is it? Doubtlessly that was due to my short night the night before. I should be all caught up now and hopefully stay awake all day long and the evening too.

I have been refusing to go on my bathroom scales. I am afraid of what I'll see there and rely on how well my clothes fit me instead. They fit me fine, but I do know that I've gained some weight and that I need to watch it or I'll turn into a porker. I'm not completely in denial, but I think I was in the month of December and that it was not a very good month for me eating wise. I mean, I did too much of it. I think everybody does in December, don't they? It's the stress that makes you eat. January is a perfect month to get over that. There's no excuse to have all sorts of devilish food in the house. Speaking of devilish food, I haven't had a deviled egg in more than 15 years and I used to like them so much.

It's been almost 15 years since I drove a car. That's quite some time for someone who used to drive one daily. I had a car when I first came to the Netherlands, but I never did get my Dutch driver's license and now it is too late, because I can't afford a car and besides, I would have to have a real good argument to justify owning one, considering I travel by bike or by public transportation and I would have to take costly driver's lessons and take the exam, which is difficult here to pass. I would have to get dispensation too, because of all the medication I take. So, for now and the near future, I will be without a car, unless I win the lottery and I would have to play in it in order to win anything, although the Exfactor said he would share some of his if he won anything. Do you think I can keep him to that promise?

It's only Thursday and to me it already feels like it is the weekend. That's because I have no engagements and no classes. The only things I have to do is clean the apartment and do some shopping and I have my new schedule to stick to and help me through the day, making it much more manageable. As it is now, I am already behind schedule, but I don't really care, because I feel that I have to seize the moment and reorganize the schedule on a daily basis.

I do see that I have to clean my desk, because it is very dusty and I could write my name in it. It means moving all sorts of odds and ends off the desk and wiping it clean and replacing everything, which seems like too much work, when in reality it isn't. It just appears that way. I am too easily intimidated by things that look complicated. I call them frustration moments.

Well, I'll finally go and get dressed then and start the day. I can't postpone it forever. It's still freezing outside in spite of the sunshine.

Have a wonderful day.

Ciao...