Wednesday, September 02, 2009


Yesterday afternoon it was my intention to just vacuum the area rug, because I was not in the mood for the noisy vacuum cleaner, but once I had it out and running, it wasn't all that bad and I decided to vacuum the kitchen and the bedroom too. The noise is always worse in your memory than it is in real life. I also vacuumed the dog's pillow and then applied flea drops to him and got his clean blanket out of the laundry, so we should be flea free now. As long as the cats don't bring home any new ones, which they always do in the summertime. They roam far and wide and pick them up all over the place. That's the good part about wintertime, we'll be rid of those pesky fleas.

I didn't do the dishes, because of the vacuuming, and then I was so hungry that I had to eat and after that I walked the dog and then the news was on. No happy news on the news, with dire predictions that we haven't felt the worst of the economic crisis yet, even though things have stabilized. The real consequences will be felt next year when there will be a shortage of money and massive layoffs. Isn't that a wonderful thing to look forward to? We mustn't get discouraged and keep the money rolling. Well, mine certainly is. It is being pumped back into the economy whether I like it or not.

I slept on the sofa again and woke up in the middle of the night with a very painful arm and hand, so I guess I will be sleeping in my bed again tonight. I did shut off the television with the remote control, which means I put it on stand by and I hate to do that, because it still uses energy that way. When you're pinching pennies like me, all those things add up. The sofa is just long enough for me to sleep on, but it's not wide enough and I have to make myself small or my arm will fall off the side of it. That creates discomfort, so I better go back to my bed.

I got to ergo therapy this morning, only to find out that the ergo therapist was sick, but we were allowed to go to creative therapy instead, which I thought was just splendid. It was with the therapist who I dropped on Tuesdays and she is the one with all the neat ideas on what to do with paper and inks and watercolors, so I picked up a lot of pointers today and I now can't wait to apply them and I desperately want to go out and get supplies, but I have to be patient. I saw the neatest effect on what to do with watercolor paper and colored inks and I can't wait to try it. It makes me think I ought to go back to that class on Tuesdays, but I'm afraid it will be too much again and I must be sensible.

I had been putting the grocery shopping off since Monday and was so very much not looking forward to it. It was the thought of going to the ever busy supermarket and picking out the groceries and standing in line that was putting me off. Also riding home with all the groceries in the bags on my bike and unloading everything. I just was not up to the task. So I called the Exfactor and asked him very bluntly if he would do it for me instead and he happily agreed to, which was a great relief to me.

I made a not so overwhelming shopping list and when he got here, he went straight to the supermarket and was back here within the shortest amount of time, because for the Exfactor everything is a breeze. I don't know how the man does it, but nothing seems to bother him. He does everything with a snap of his fingers. Needless to say, I was very grateful and I won't have to go shopping now until next week. I'm going to try to make everything last as long as possible.

I'm taking a tranquilizer three times a day, I've decided, and it agrees well with me. It is just the right amount to settle me down and make me calm enough. I'm not so much under the influence that I'm a zombie, but it does take the sharpest edges off and that is pleasant, because now I don't have to worry as much. On the whole, my day is much easier with them and I am more relaxed and at ease and not so stressed.

I think always feeling a certain amount of anxiety is second nature to me, so feeling more of it comes very easy to me, but it sure is a tiring thing. It's like you're always prepared for something unpleasant to happen, even when nothing is going to, but you assume it will. I have had many, many years like that since my childhood and it's become permanently engraved in my mind. I don't want to live under that assumption, though, and I try to reason myself out of it, but it is hard to have to do it over and over again repeatedly without end. It's nice to get a break like I do with the tranquilizers, I just shouldn't take such a mega dose of them and I won't now.

I wore my Spring/Fall boots today and my warmer leggings. The weather has turned and it really feels like Autumn out today. There's a chilly wind and clouds in the sky and it looks like rain. I like it, this is my kind of weather, this is my month to really live and breathe and come alive in. The weatherman said that meteorologically speaking, it is Fall now, although on the calender it says it won't be until the 21st. For all things concerning the weather it is Autumn now. I believe it, because you can feel it in the air and tell by the sunlight.

I still haven't done the dishes now. Do you think they will wait for me forever or wash themselves and line up neatly in the dish rack on the kitchen counter.? Oh well, I suppose I will get around to them sooner or later. I will get an attack of cleanliness and they will suddenly get done. Just like everything gets done around here. Things never do turn into the disaster they could be. I always save myself on time.

I've got to read some email and blog posts now and make myself another cup of decaf. If I make it strong enough it doesn't taste like decaf. I can even fool myself.

Have a great evening. Don't do anything I wouldn't do. That leaves you a lot of leeway.



Maggie May said...

Yes, there is a nip in the air. Leaves are falling. The quicker it is all over, the quicker the Spring will come! Shouldn't wish time away, it goes quick enough without that but I don't like winter and Autumn is the beginning of it.
Sorry to hear about the anxiety. I am prone to it myself. I think we are born with certain types of genes that make some people more vulnerable & of course things happen to us along the way & that also influences how we react.

Have a good night, Irene in your cosy bed tonight! X

Anonymous said...

I know what you mean about anxiety being tiring. Although I don't suffer from it, DD does, and when she's having a particularly bad bout, she uses up so much additional energy that she's quite exhausted, which of course makes the anxiety worse. This all impacts on me, because I am her usual sounding board, and that exhausts me. Tranquilizers sound like a good idea for both of us at times like that!

aims said...

We are finally having summer weather! It is supposed to be 27C here for the next couple of days. We had Autumn weather all summer so I'm going to enjoy this as much as I can.

Yesterday I took a xanax. I was so anxious and everything was a problem. I just wanted to scream at anything and everything! Once I took that - and I only have them for emergencies - I calmed right down and was very creative for the rest of the day. That biting edge of anxiety is enough to drive one nuts.

btw - don't like my perm. Not yet anyway. Perhaps I'll send a pic.

Life with Kaishon said...

I saw your comment at Maggie May's page and I stopped over to say hi : ) I think your blog name is intriguing : )

VioletSky said...

I have been sleeping on my sofa for about a week now because my bed is occupied with detritus that I am sorting to be stored or donated, but it has been so incredibly lovely weather that I want to be outside all day, so nothing is getting done and I simple close the door... But it is not best - being far too narrow, as you say, and I see why it is bad to have a tv in the bedroom.

Hope the fleas have died off for the season.

Friend of the Bear said...

Hi Irene. I wish I had someone to do my shopping for me!

September is a month I always look forward to as I hate the summer months. Thank god for the cooler weather. It has been cold, blowing a gale and really heavy rain here all day. Brilliant!

Glad your trancs suit you and make life more liveable.

Always nice to have a happy surprise like an extra art session when you weren't expecting it.

Bearfriend xx

Gail said...

Maybe you can call Merling and he can wave his magic wand and the dishes will wash themselves.