Yes, it pleases me to write another post at this early hour of the morning. Let's face it, there's nothing else left to do. I've spent all night behind the computer and have just about exhausted all the possibilities of what I can do with it. At least the kinds of things that are of interest to me and it is possible that this excludes all sorts of activities that other people could think of. Please don't tell me what those could be. I don't want to know. If I don't do it, I don't want to know about it. I do want to keep my life simple and rarefied. I don't want to clutter it up with activities such as buying second hand books at Amazon or shopping for bargains at Ebay. Every penny spent is a penny I don't have and I doubt I have the smarts to resell at higher prices. I am not a business woman, I am a writer and an artist and you know they have no financial sense.
It's still dark outside, so I can't say it is morning, but according to the clock it is, and I am glad of it. The night took long enough to be over, though I managed to fill it well with my own amusements and although the time didn't speed by, it didn't crawl by either. It wasn't as bad as all that. Somewhere around 2:30 it seemed to stagnate for a bit, but once it was past 4:30 things moved on quickly. It is funny how time goes by in fast and slow segments and I wonder if that is the case for everybody or if that is just our own individual experience of it. I suppose the latter would be the case, as it would be true if you are waiting for something to happen desperately and five minutes seem like half an hour. Or if you sleep and your dream seems to have taken a long time, when in reality it was over in seconds, just like a thought is.
Right now, it seems like the time is speeding by, because I feel rushed and I want to finish this post before I have to get dressed and walk the dog and go see my SPN. In reality, I have some time, but I keep estimating it wrong and I can't get the right scenario in my head. If I would just slow down and think for a minute, I would realize that I have time to do all the things I have to do and I would still get where I have to be at the right hour. It's strange how you can make yourself spin in circles when there is no need, except your exaggerated sense of responsibility that tells you that you always have to be on time, if not early, and that it's worthy of punishment or ridicule to be late.
The dog has already been hungry and begged for a treat an hour ago, so the next time he wakes up, I will feed him. That will get us ready on time to go for a walk and give him some time to digest his meal a bit. The cats have been sleeping in the bedroom despite the fact that I wasn't there. It is a habit, I guess, that is hard to break. Toby has just come into the living room looking a little bit confused. It's like he doesn't quite know what to make of the whole situation and is pondering it over. I have to make sure that there's fresh milk for them to drink and throw the old milk from last night away.
I may have been awake all night, but I don't feel like it at all. I am as bright eyed and bushy tailed as if I've had a whole night's sleep and have been up for a while. I'm in no danger of falling asleep on my bicycle, that's for sure. It would be highly irregular if that happened. I've never heard of it, though I know there are plenty of drunk bicyclists and you can get a ticket for that too. You are taking part of the traffic, after all. No, I feel hyper alert and very much awake and ready to start a whole day's worth of chores, but you may want to check with me later to see how I am doing then.
It's possible that by not sleeping for one night, I'm going to force myself into a different mood, the same as they do in sleep deprivation when they try to get people out of a depression. I would have to stay up for the rest of the day to see if it would work, although I will tell you now that if I get tired and sleepy, I will go to sleep and not force myself to stay awake. I think that would be a very foolish thing to do, considering I'm all on my own and there is no one to monitor me. I will just see what happens as the day unfolds and not worry about it. I'll take it as it comes.
Now I must go and get dressed and do all the other things. I've put down the dog's food, but the cats are eating it. The dog is not at all interested.
Again, have a good day and enjoy all the things you need to do. Even the things that aren't any fun and that you balk at.
Ciao,
Nora.
7 comments:
"I am a writer and an artist"...good phrase!
Do be careful, I use to pull all nighters all the time but I cannot seem to do it anymore.
It has been said the only reason people sleep at night is a throw back to the prehistoric times, when being asleep at night was for your safety.
Enjoy your day!
I stay up too late frequently and wake up tired. I have, however, experienced that alertness that comes with the light when pulling an all nighter. You've set the tone of my day with a very positive attitude. Thanks.
I hope you enjoy your rest that much more later for putting it off.
I am concerned, my dear, I hope this doesn't mean a descent at the end of this hyper-activity.
You need sleep, you need regularity, you need routine.
This is what I've learned to do and we're very similar in chemical and biological makeup.
Please take care of you and discuss what's happened with your therapist.
XO
WWW
PS let me know how you're doing.
"The night took long enough to be over." Good stuff.ing.
I go to bed by one am - mostly midnight.
Hi Nora. It worries me of course that you are up all night. I know how trying it can be to make yourself stay in bed or get into bed but routine is so important.
A single night up occasionally of course does alter seratonin levels which does improve your mood for a day. I've found this myself. But done too often I find it just messes your whole brain and body chemistry up.
Hope you had a good meeting with your SPN.
Best wishes,
Bearfriend xx
even more feeling you are wired. tell us how it goes with your SPN and do have that rest, but don't have it at the time you are supposed to be seeing the SPN - ;-) know what I mean? LOL
You sound hyper and I'm wondering if you are cycling.
I'm with the others on this. It's great every once in a while and can be beneficial in some respects. But monitor yourself carefully. And tell your SPN of course.
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