Thursday, September 24, 2009

The second time...

Now that I'm up for the second time, I'll try to write another post again. I went to bed at seven o'clock this morning and slept for a few hours and now I feel well rested and mostly awake. Of course, my cups of coffee are helping me tremendously and I'm making them very strong. I have to run a bottle of vinegar through the Senseo machine in a little while and I'll be curious to taste the difference in the coffee once I'm done with that. It usually gives me a much better cup of coffee, so I can't wait. It's the little pleasures in life that make me happy. A good cup of coffee makes me happy. By all rights I should have a cookie to go with it, but then I'd eat half the package, so it's a good thing that I don't.

When I go grocery shopping, I don't put anything on the list that's bad for me and I only shop off the list. That way I'm not tempted to wander down the aisles to look for things and get distracted by food that looks especially good and that wants me to put it in my basket. Every once in a while I get tempted and add something that was not on my list, but mostly I stick to it, and that is for financial reasons too. Money doesn't go as far as it used to. It does save me from buying ready made puddings and that sort of nonsense that's all fattening stuff. Because, let's face it, I have a sweet tooth just like anybody else and I see things I want to eat constantly. Luckily, the sweets and the cookies are contained within their own aisles and I don't even have to walk down those. I just give them a passing glance on my way to the coffee pads. It's very smart of the supermarket to arrange things this way.

I painted a field of flowers this morning that I'm mildly happy with and I started on another landscape painting, but then I got this terrible desire to lie in my bed and read my book, so that's what I did. It was very cozy and I'm making headway in my book, which is still Secret Scripture. I am coming toward the end of it now and am completely wrapped up in it. I will read it during the day today too, because I can't wait to see how it ends. It is so well written that none of the sentences bother you in their structure and that is saying a lot, because sometimes you can stumble over something like that. It all just flows naturally. Sebastian Barry is a very good writer and he must have also had a very good editor. I wonder if he had to do many rewrites? You can't imagine that when you read the book. You feel that he wrote it down like that in one fell swoop.

I've mooched 23 books through Bookmooch. That's how many novels I have to read and there are more on their way. I've sent 11 books so far and I have 5 left to send. I send 5 to 6 books a month, that's all the budget can bear. I think for now I will have enough to read and I'm not going to change my inventory right away, because that will mean more moochers and more books to send and, of course, I will want to spend my points on books as well. First I have to make a dent in this pile of novels. There are some really interesting ones there that I can't wait to read. Then there is my wish list at where I want to order books that I can't get at Bookmooch. At you can get the paperback editions at a discount price. As soon as I have the money, I will be ordering my next book from them. And I think a new bookcase too.

Oh, but then I forgot about the shelves in the bedroom where there is lots of room to add books. I just need to rearrange some things to make space. Some of my sculptures will have to be moved and the three pieces of soapstone will have to go back into a box. I'm not going to be working on them anyway. That was an ambition I've thrown overboard, although I made one sculpture once and gave it to my ex in the States. I do kind deeds like that sometimes. I haven't got the proper tools to work on the soapstone and I'm not very interested in it anymore. My friend Joost likes soapstone and I'll give my pieces to him.

Guess what? The Exfactor just came by for a cup of cofffee and he brought a whole large package of cookies with him. I haven't opened it yet and I think I will keep it unopened, so I will not give in to the temptation and keep them for special occasions, whatever they may be. The dog hasn't spotted them yet, which is good, because he likes these very much also. The Exfactor is always bringing me cookies. You can draw your conclusions from that if you wish.

I've walked the dog and the weather is overcast but not at all cold. It was pleasant enough to just go out in my sweater. It rained earlier this morning, which was nice and the world smells fresh and clean. This is my kind of weather and it pleases my very much. I feel my mood lifting because of it.

I've also run vinegar through the Senseo machine and it doesn't make as much noise now when it makes a cup of coffee. I think that the coffee tastes better too, but that could be all in my imagination. Wishful thinking, sort to say. I think that today I will really get some chores done instead of just talking about it. I feel up to the task. I won't do that many things and some of them will even be pleasant. Like arranging books on the shelves in the bedroom.

I think lowering the anti psychotic medication has been a good move. It took a few days to get the extra medication out of my system, but I feel better now and instead of taking it spread over the day, I take it all at once before I go to bed, like I used to. That way the maximum side effects happen at night when I'm asleep, or I should say, when I'm supposed to be asleep. It's supposed to make me sleepy, but I haven't noticed that. Like I said, when you take a large a dose of it, it has a tendency to make you feel depressed, that's why it's so important to get back to you regular dose as soon as possible.

I'm wearing lavender leggings, a blue denim skirt, a gray and blue striped sweater, and much to my embarrassment no necklace yet. How could I forget such an important attribute? I am nearly naked! I'll have to remedy that situation immediately and find the proper necklace to wear quickly before anyone else sees me. I can't be seen in polite company this way.

Well, I'll go and do some work now. Maybe I'll even play some music to accompany me. That will be a change! I, who like solitude and silence.

Have a good day, even, or especially, if it rains.



Wisewebwoman said...

And odd kind of day here. A warm foggy day, odd for September.
Interesting gift from the ex-factor. I had an expartner who'd try and sabotage me with chips, he's chomp away loudly on them....
Passive agressive much?

Friend of the Bear said...

Hi Nora. Sounds like you're still nurturing yourself - keeping cozy and painting and reading. Doing things that make you happy. All sounds lovely.

I'm not able to do as much reading of novels as I'd like. I just don't have the concentration - or maybe the will to make myself read for prolonged periods. I've thought about putting books up on my site but there'd be an embarrassing number of Maigret novels up there! I've also read some Dorothy L. Sayers reacently and I'm reading The Comfort of Strangers by Ian McEwan at the moment.

I don't know what to make of the Exfactor bringing biscuits.

You're lucky to have colder weather. It's STILL hot here. I'm so tired of it.

Sometimes I find that a blast of loud music can help get me going when I'm catatonically depressed. I haven't tried that method in a while because I've been too agitated recently and just want to calm down rather than gee myself up!

Hope you're have a good evening.

Best wishes,
Bearfriend xx

Catherine said...

Irene? Nora? anyway whichever you are right now - I am glad you are reading and engrossed in the Secret Scripture - we read this in our book club last year and absolutely loved it, it is great to hear him interviewed about it as he had an aunt who was Rose, and the story is based on what he interpreted happened to her, she had the child and was living in a hut on Strandhill beach, a surfer's paradise in Sligo. She was the family skeleton in the closet, the black sheep, and she was villified for what had happened to her. Society inIreland was very cruel and unforgiving for women and thousands of women ended up imprisoned in laundries of convents when they fell by the wayside i.e. had a baby out of marriage. the baby was always given for adoption and the mothers often were kept locked up as their families wouldn't claim them, a bit like Rose.
Hope you are feeling better now, and over your panic attack of later. Take it easy, and it will come right eventually. You have good support and a SPN on call is great to have access to.