Monday, September 14, 2009
Feel good day...
Monday is always a feel good day, because I leave the somewhat boring weekend behind me and start a new week of interesting activities. I do have to say, though, that this weekend wasn't especially boring and that even the Sunday went by quickly and that I managed to amuse myself well enough not to have any real dull moments. I don't know why that was, except that I chose to ignore the fact most of the day that it was Sunday and pretended it was just any old day of the week. Of course, I couldn't go shopping, but then I don't go shopping much the other days of the week either, so that really made no difference. It was just the idea that it was Sunday that I had to get over.
I had creative therapy today and worked on my painting, putting on first layers of paint and second and third layers, because some of the colors require a third one. I think it's turning out well, but I'll let you be the judge of that when I'm done with it and I'll post a picture of it and the first painting. No, I shouldn't say that I'll let you be the judge of that. I should say that they are good and that's it.
When I came home, my psychiatrist called me again and I could assure him that I was back to normal and that my problem was behind me, which is a great relief to me and it was to him also. He's a very conscientious psychiatrist and takes his patients very seriously and I like that about him. He doesn't just give you lip service, to throw in an Americanism. I don't know any other way to put it.
Then the Exfactor came over for a visit and had a cup of coffee and Gandhi was all over him being a girl cat, getting all sorts of attention. She twisted and turned herself all over on his lap to get the most amount of petting possible. So typical of a little girlie.
After the Exfactor left, I tried to sit behind the computer for a bit, but I realized that what I needed was a nap, so I got some lunch and ate that and then made myself comfortable on the sofa and slept the rest of the afternoon. It was wonderful and just what I needed. I don't worry anymore about what my sleeping pattern signifies. I just sleep when I need it and don't worry if it means anything pertaining to my mood. Instead of thinking it does, I accept the sleep as something I need and nothing more. Just like I don't try to second guess a lot of my behavior anymore. It is what it is and if it acts like a duck, it must be a duck.
When I woke up, Jesker wanted to eat, although he wasn't making himself very clear about it at first. I had to guess what he wanted a little bit. He doesn't walk up to his bowl and bark at it. He just barks in the middle of the living room, so it could mean several things. After he ate, he wanted to be walked and he was more clear about that and we had a little conversation about it. I told him that I had to finish my cigarette and that he had to wait a while and that I had to get my shoes on first.
Now, he understands a number of those words, so he knows he has to wait, but he does it very pathetically, with his ears folded back and a mournful look in his eyes, while he makes little puppy sounds. That means, poor me, I have to wait a whole three minutes and that's so long. I said to him, where are my shoes? Go look for my shoes. But he just looked around bewilderedly and put his head in my lap, as if to say, don't make it so hard on me. Gosh, I do love my dog!
I can now take it easy and change into my pajamas and bathrobe and sit back and relax. Tomorrow morning I have an appointment with my SPN and it will be good to talk to her. I haven't seen her since a week before last because she took some time off. I always like going to see her, because I always get a little wiser about myself when I do. I'd say that's a very good benefit, wouldn't you? The one you hope for anyway. Between my psychiatrist and my SPN, I'm in good hands.
Well alright, I think that's about it for today. I haven't bought another scarf yet, but I will do that tomorrow. I have this purple, red and black one, a green one and a blue one, so now I must try to find a gray one or a red one. Cross your fingers for me.
Have a super evening, or a super day, if that's your time zone.