It was not the AdAware Virus Program that I needed, because I already have a virus scanner, but the PC Cleaner. I downloaded it and it cleaned up my whole hard drive and all of my files so my computer runs much better. It starts up a lot quicker than it did before I did a scan that removed many things of which I assumed they were safe to remove. The computer has not crashed, so I guess everything is alright. I was my own guinea pig in this test case.
I f you ask me how I feel, I will tell you that I do not know yet. The jury is out and will have to be consulted at another time. I did see my psychiatrist this afternoon and he could clearly see that I was not the much contented and satisfied person that I used to be. It is his opinion that the pressure of my job is having a negative effect on me, but he thinks that it is up to me to decide if I want to continue with it or quit. Whatever I decide, he will back me up.
Because I want my peace of mind back, and my contentment, and because I do not want to slide head first into a depression, I think I will quit my job. That will not be as simple as it sounds. I am supposed to work to guarantee my income and I can get penalized financially which would be very painful. My contact person at Social Services may not be too happy with my decision.
I am already somewhat depressed, but I am most of the time pretending not to be by ignoring it. I take two tranquilizers a day and they somewhat ease the pain. I do not know if this is going to get better after I have made my final decision and have dealt with all the repercussions. Right now I feel like I am plodding through a swamp of over sized problems and they are pulling at my feet.
I am sure things will look a lot better once I have all this behind me and my life back in order. Back to how it used to be.