I thought I was going to take a long nap this afternoon, but after an hour of fitful sleep with many coughing spells, I am up again, having a cup of much needed coffee. Because I was so grumpy when I got up, I knew I needed to make a strong pot and that it would make all the difference in my attitude. Slowly my mind is turning to kinder thoughts and I do not feel so bitchy anymore. Of course, the person I am the must unkind to at a time like that is myself and I can not do anything right in my own eyes. Luckily, I do know that it is a temporary condition taken care of by the intake of caffeine.
Today is not a terribly interesting day, it being Saturday and that being a day on which not much exciting happens. The most important thing I do is take Tyke for walks, although the length of them has been somewhat curtailed since I have my drop foot. It is kind of a bother to walk longer distances with it. I did take care of my cultural intake and watched all this morning's TV programs that had to do with literature and art and music and today they were centered around fashion and suddenly I knew what my true calling was. I should have been a fashion designer.
It is too late now to go to the Academy of Design, but that is what I would really like to do and I am inspired now to jazz up my clothes with all sorts of extra details and to go shop at the open air market for buttons and lace and cheap and funky shoes. I will have to wait with that, however, until I am solvent again, so I must be patient.
This afternoon I took the best possible photos of all my ankle boots with high heels that I have hardly worn, and of some summer shoes with high heels too, and placed them with an advertisement "for sale" on Marktplaats. That is something similar to E Bay. I hate to see them go, but the truth of the matter is that I will never be able to wear them again, not even the ones with the lowest heels, and that is why I have been wearing my flat heeled cowboy boots that are very comfortable. The only problem I have is that my ankle hurts when I pull on the left boot, but that is just a very short discomfort and I can handle that. I can not be a sissy and complain about each little ache and pain.
Oh yes, I did find my digital camera again while I was looking for something else. It turned out to be in one of the boxes in which I had so neatly stowed everything from the living room dresser drawers. I lifted the lid from the box, and there it was, staring me right in the face. The Exfactor got me that memory card reader, so now I can download the photos I take. I feel like I belong in the 21st Century again. All the camera needed was some new batteries and that was easily taken care off because I had those in the refrigerator. I just wish there was someone here to take a flattering photo of me so that I could post it.
The second cup of coffee I am having is really not necessary, but I am drinking it anyway for the good flavor. The first cup of coffee did the job of making me a cheerful, functioning human being again. I must say, though, that the increase in medication, and the addition of the tranquilizers, has helped me a lot. I think I was temporarily a bit lost and I feel less of that now and a lot calmer with better organized thoughts. You only know how good it feels to be clear minded when you are it again after you have not been it for a while. I must make sure that I explain this to my psychiatrist very well in an email. He will be glad to hear it.