Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Thoughts on the subject.

Yesterday, when I told my SPN about my reluctance to go to the creative classes at the clinic, she showed some concern. She thought I was being overly confident now and that I thought I could do without the built in support of the system there and enroll in a regular course, but that I had not considered what would happen if my mood changed in the fall when things would become more difficult and I would be harder to motivate and need more encouragement.

It was obvious to her that I would not find this support and encouragement in a regular course where I would be required to attend every session no matter how I was doing at any particular time and that there would be no excuses for not showing up. I would have to attend the classes regularly just like any other person and not have an excuse such as depression dismiss me from my responsibilities. There would be no pep talks over the telephone from concerned individuals who would want to know how I was and who would try to talk me into trying to show up again.

In the creative classes at the clinic, there is at least an awful lot of leeway because they are used to people with "conditions " who need extra care and who are victim to extenuating circumstances. Although my SPN praised my willingness to be out among "normal" people, she also saw the danger in it, but she does want me enrolled in some sort of a program before the fall starts.

I had planned to cancel my appointment with the woman to enroll me in the creative classes at the clinic, but I have decided to go to it anyway tomorrow and see what she can come up with for me. Maybe there will be a good opening.

In the meantime, I have checked out the courses that are available for me to take instead and found out that they are very expensive. The ones that I was interested in taking cost several hundred euros each for 26 weeks and are only given at night. Of course, I can't afford these and would not want to go at night. There's no subsidy for them and the tuition is calculated on your age and postal code, which is very specific.

I think some things are meant to be and some things are not and there is such a thing as fate. So, that is what I will believe in then.

In the meantime I'm sitting here with a glass of milk, freezing my buns off. I washed my bathrobe and I think it isn't dry yet. I better go check on it... no, it's still wet. I will go to bed shortly and get under the warm duvet. I am yawning something awful.

Goodnight, dear people. Sleep tight.



Twain12 said...

hope you get a good nights rest. Good luck with the appointment tomorrow, i think you are right some things are not meant to be and it sounds like a lot of money to me too

Bernie said...

I do hope you slept well Nora. WOW it is expensive to take courses there, not nearly that much here. I am hoping to take a computer course if it is held in town, I won't drive into the city, the highway is so bad during our winters.
You will work it out I am sure, perhaps she will help you find something that doesn't cost so much
Big Hugs.....:-)

Maggie May said...

The ordinary classes are very expensive and I wouldn't want to go out at night either. I have found people to be a bit *clicky* in these classes too. In other words... they aren't always friendly.
It is true that you wouldn't get the back up that you do from the classes you normally go to.
Are you signing up then, for these?

You could perhaps find some thing to do with the *normal* community (whatever that is.....) Maybe some very easy charity work just an hour a week?
Maggie X

Nuts in May

Frances said...

Good that you discussed it with the SPN - sorry your hoped-for plans don't sound possible financially at the moment.
If you had been able to attend a short mainstream course, maybe a month or two while you are on the up, it would have been great.
With them being so expensive and 26 weeks long, perhaps your SPN is right and you might have issues in the winter.
Don't give up on the hope though, you never know what may happen now that you have understood something new about yourself and how you operate. Stay hopeful. Of course you can operate in so-called normal circles. You can get support on them too, but naturally not of the same sort as on specially designated courses.
It is possible that courses elsewhere don't have the same lack of guidance as your last course and you might find something to suit you while you wait for the best solution - or a shorter course might be cheaper.... or anything.
Keep hopeful


Babaloo said...

My, those courses sound very expensive! But then, they're running for longer than the courses here (they're usually only 10-12 weeks) and the cost probably includes materials. But still, 26 weeks is a long commitment and you would have to pay in advance I guess.

Maybe you could find something interesting/new with the lady you're meeting tomorrow?

And if you want to do something outside that circle, you'll find something. How about volunteering at a local pet shelter or something like that? They always need people I guess. Well, they do here anyway, as they're run by charities usually. There are things out there for sure, you just need to figure out what you want to do!

Wisewebwoman said...

Another thought would be to see if day classes might provide a scholarship or bursary? Don't know how that works in Holland.
Great that you are leaving all your options open.