Monday, March 16, 2009

Monday evening.

Well, if I plan this right, I can write a post before I go to bed and read some blogs too. That is if I don't dilly dally and spend too much time thinking about what I'm going to tell you all, and not get frustrated about the stupid keyboard keys that get stuck and make me all mixed up about whether or not I have punched down a key well enough or not, so that I have to go back and add or subtract letters.

There, that was a little rant about the keyboard, but really, it is so frustrating and I don't have the money right now to buy a new one yet. I have to wait just a bit. It is said that you learn to live with the little inconveniences in life, but I don't believe a bit of it. I am all for eliminating them as quickly as possible. It will be a great day when I toss this keyboard in the trash.

Today was creative therapy and I have to be honest with you and tell you that I don't enjoy going there as much anymore since I'm being told left and right that it's all going to end one of these days. My heart isn't in it anymore and I am not making the commitment like I was before. In a way I am already saying goodbye. I am being told the same thing at ergo therapy and I feel the same way there, so there is a kind of withdrawal on my part, as if I am not putting in 100% anymore.

I finished my clay sculpture today and it turned out okay for the beginner that I am. It has to dry now before it can go into the oven and I will start another one on Friday. This next one is going to be harder than the first one, so I've got my work cut out for me.

When I got home all I felt like doing was having a cup of coffee and a cigarette, so I did and I fed the dog who hadn't eaten it the morning for lack of interest, but he wolfed down his food this time. I took him for a walk and it was nearly pleasant outside, overcast, but not very cold with just a bit of a chilly wind. It wants to be spring, but it is very hesitant.

Then the Exfactor came over to pick up a package that had been delivered here for him and we had some coffee together. He had spent the weekend with the Paramount and it only bothered me slightly, as I pretend that she is not an entity in his life and I prefer not talking about her, though sometimes we must. I find the whole thing emotionally draining and prefer not to really be confronted with it.

I feel the same way about the therapies. Don't keep telling me it's going to end one day. Give me a date and then I know what to expect. It's rather senseless to keep me in suspense this way. I find that emotionally draining too.

I am most happy when I am home doing my own things and living my own life and handling my own schedule. When I'm not dependent on the decisions of other people, or their whims or fancies. That's when I am in the best mood. I get very down hearted when I know that my fate depends on the decisions of other people. I'd rather have a shoot out at the O.K. corral. I loose touch with my happiness on those other days and it's hard to get a smile out of me. I'm just an unhappy human being.

Tomorrow I will be alright again, because it is my day to do with as I please. I'll be my own mistress and make up my own mind about things. I'll vacuum and dust and do the laundry and sit and ponder things and feel generally good.

I have an appointment with my SPN in the morning. I'll be able to unload there a bit, Get my frustrations out.

Right, that was it for me for today. Time to go get comfortable in my pajamas. I do so like that moment of the day.

Hope you all had a nice day. Don't let the b******s get you down.



Maggie May said...

You have had a busy day.
Maybe you are wise pulling away a bit from the therapies. It is to stop yourself being hurt when you do have to leave, I suppose. There will be other things, I'm sure and I have no doubt that you will find something that fires your imagination & creativity.

I also love having a hot shower & getting into night things & snuggling in front of the TV & fire.It has gone quite cold tonight.

Was a gorgeous day today and I really hope you experienced the Spring sunshine too.

VioletSky said...

Surprise endings are hard. It is much easier to know and prepare.

Tess said...

I so love these moments when you share your days with us... it makes the world seem smaller and friendlier to read about a woman across the ocean doing much the same things that I do from day to day. And it's almost pajama time here in Arizona... so I'm a happy chick :)

Breakfast in California said...

Happy St Patrick's Day!!!

jeannette stgermain said...

Your new hair style is very becoming! I know that you don't celebrate St. Patrick's Day in Holl., but I just read that every year they dye the Chicago river green for this occasion!! (you're supposed to wear green on this day). Happy tomorrow my friend!

Have you seen this man? said...

Hi FTW! Hope your day today (Tues) is a good one and that the sun shines on you.

The Finely Tuned Woman said...

Maggie May, getting into your pajamas is the best time of day, isn't it? And in front of the fire no less!

VioletSky, I always want to be prepared. I much prefer that to being surprised.

Tess, how is the weather in Arizona? Is it hot there or do you suffer from the cold nights like us?

Breakfast, I have no Irish blood in me to celebrate with.

Jeanette, it must be a heck of a job to dye the Chicago river green. I'm not wearing one bit of green. Is that bad luck? You know I'm not Irish.

This Man, I hope you have a wonderful Tuesday with another brilliant story to tell.

John said...

Wheel of Fortune wise...



I'd like to buy a vowel...

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