Sunday, March 08, 2009

Sunday once more.


Is it just me or is it really Sunday every time I turn around? It seems like it was Sunday just the other day, not so very long ago, and that I was thinking then how it was possible that it was Sunday again. They say that time goes by quicker when you get older, so I must be getting really old, because it is racing by, it seems to me.

I don't know how I feel about that. I suppose I have mixed feelings. On the one hand I like it, because everything happens quickly and at an amazing speed, at the other hand that also means that the clock is ticking away very quickly and my days on earth are numbered. I will get older quicker, before I'm ready to.

It is an amazing thing that time is relative and that we experience it all at our own speed and that an hour or a minute can feel differently to two different people. A month seems like no time at all to me, while it may seem like a very long time to someone else. One month is nothing, a week is but several long breaths, a day is one inhalation. Poof, and it's gone. I'm lucky if I know which month we live in, let alone which date it is.

That's why it is so handy to have the computer on. When I think of it, I can look and see that today is Sunday, March the 8th, 2009. Unluckily for me, today is exactly 20 years since my mother died, but I won't dwell on that, because life is for the living and not for forever mourning the dead. So, I salute my mother, wherever she is, and get on with it.

It is raining outside, so I can't walk the dog yet. He patiently waits on his blanket. I need to feed him, but want to wait a little bit, because he'll really have to go out after that.

After having not done anything significant in the apartment for several days, I finally dragged out the vacuum cleaner yesterday afternoon and vacuumed the whole apartment. That sure made a difference. I get stuck behind the computer and fail in my housework to the detriment of everything. The computer is a dangerous thing for me, because although I always tell myself that I'm not hooked on it, I believe the opposite is true and I spend too many hours behind it.

I find it difficult to shut the computer off and would rather leave it on all day long so that I can sit down behind it at every opportunity. Of course, when given a choice between cleaning the bathroom or reading blogs, I read blogs. If the computer were turned off, I would not sit down as quickly to do that. There would be a little bit of a hindrance and that would be just enough to keep me from sitting down behind it. Some small bit of common sense would prevent me from turning it on.

The truth is that I have that schedule to stick to and that I avoid it like the plague. I never look at it, preferring to go about things in a half assed way and letting them get out of hand and having to fix them all at once in one fell swoop. I could make my life so much easier if I stuck to the schedule, but I am one for instant gratification and want to do all the fun things immediately. Never mind that I have to pay a price for it somewhere down the line.

And I will tell you something. Very often I end up being stressed out from sitting behind the computer so much. It's because it is a compulsion and almost against my free will. I sit behind it past the point of enjoyment and stubbornly keep going when I should have turned it off already and gone and done something else. That's how addicted I can be. So all in all it's a very dubious love affair. It's a dysfunctional relationship.

I like it better when I go through periods when the computer doesn't have the upper hand. When I am in control of when I turn it on. I just don't seem to be in a period like that right now. Somehow I have to fix that.

In the meantime, it's still raining and I let the dog out on the patio, but he was not very interested in being out there. It's supposed to stop raining this afternoon, but I doubt we'll be able to wait that long.

Lest you think I'm heartless for not dwelling on the anniversary of my mother's death, I have my reasons for that, but they are too intricate to explain here and some of you will already know them.

I have to get dressed and find an umbrella.

Ciao...

10 comments:

Maggie May said...

I can understand the way you feel about the anniversary of your mother's death.... given the circumstances.
After my mother died, I used to buy a little plant & put it in the garden in memory of her (each anniversary & mother's day etc ) and before I knew it there was a lovely little plot in her memory.
Course now my men folk ploughed through it when they did the underpinning so that it doesn't exist anymore.
Not sure whether to do another one or let it rest.

It is pouring rain here and has gone cold again. That has thwarted plans I had for the afternoon.
Hope you have a good day, Irene X

PS YOU ARE IN CONTROL OF YOUR COMPUTER! Not the other way round!

laurie said...

not only does time go faster, but it's even faster today because it's the first day of daylight savings time here in the states. so i've lost an hour and it's got me all discombobulated.

i salute your mother, too.

Breakfast in California said...

Twenty years? Hugs to you. Time really is zipping by, isn't it. It's all going by so fast. When we got home last night after helping the kids put in their vegetable garden, or at least start it, because they couldn't find all the tomatoes they wanted, I played Bejeweled for two hours. TWO HOURS I'll never get back again, but then, it's addictive.

Wisewebwoman said...

You can go into 'timer dot com' or something like that and set a timer on for computer sitting. I do that, and when it goes off, I quit.
I'm like you, I can get too far into it to the point of no enjoyment.
I hear you on your mother. Light a candle for her tonight.
XO
WWW

Frances said...

you are right not to dwell on it too much. Not a happy thing and you have the speeding life to enjoy to the max
hugs.

Maureen said...

Yes, another Sunday come and gone. You are absolutely right; time is passing quickly. But each day is a gift, albeit a fast one!

Brighid said...

Sunday coming down.
Having become semi addicted to following blogs, I've had to make myself stay away from the computer for long periods of time, say 20 minutes or less.

Crystal Jigsaw said...

Reading blogs definitely beats cleaning the bathroom anyday! I usually leave mine on all day too.

Time does fly and I know just what you mean about it being Sunday again.

CJ xx

Mean Mom said...

It occurred to me the other day that, at 55, I'd lived more of my life than I was likely to have left! What a thought!

Yes, you're right, time does seem to fly as you get older.

It's absolutely freezing today and it was so cold last night, I wouldn't have been surprised to see more snow.

Sorry about the anniversary of your mother's death, yesterday. I won't say any more, because I don't know any of the details.

I am addicted to the computer, too. I am staying at my parents' house, whilst my father is in hospital, so I bought a dongle for my laptop. It's not working very well, at the moment and keeps throwing me off the internet, so I'm really peed off, at times.

Babaloo said...

Sorry, Irene, haven't been online that much for the last few days. Just catching up now.

Computers are a big temptation for me as well. Alas, they're also a great invention. And since you live on your own, it's your own standards that apply - who is going to tell you that you should've done the bathroom 2 days ago?! Only yourself, really. So go easy on yourself, stay on the computer as long as you enjoy yourself.

And you actually wait until it stops raining before you walk the dog? Wow. I admire his patience. Ours know exactly when it's time for their walks and they want to go, rain or not.