Tuesday, March 03, 2009
I've been cheating...
I have a confession to make. Instead of being here and reading blogs and leaving comments behind, I have been visiting My Page on 6S's and I have been having a heck of a good time. It's been like going away to holiday camp and discovering a whole new set of people with a whole new set of activities.
I think it is just what I needed to get me out of this slump, because lets face it, it's not called mood disorders for nothing and I was right in the middle of one. I always forget that I suffer from mood disorders and that this doesn't just mean that I get hypomanic, but that this also means that I sometimes get very depressed very quickly for the least of reasons. I also forget that these are temporary conditions and that I get over them quickly as a rule, if all goes well and I get the proper help.
So, for a while, I didn't want anything to be in my life the way it usually was. I couldn't stand the thought of blogging and simply did not have the enthusiasm to leave cheerful comments when you all knew I wasn't cheerful.
I spent a lot of time sitting at the dining table with a mug of coffee and a cigarette, just staring out the window letting my thoughts wander wherever they took me. It was peaceful that way. I didn't pretend to get any work done and gave myself permission not to worry about that right now. I did the basics and that was it. We all have clean dishes to eat from.
When I finally did turn on the computer, I became disheartened about all the posts I would have to read and be cheerful about and I just couldn't face it, so I checked in to 6S's and went to the main page to see what was new there and there was lots of new stuff to read and react to. It was a whole new ballgame and I even got into the swing of things and wrote some stuff myself.
It's funny how new surroundings and new people perk you up and give you a new lease on life, simply with the few encouraging words that they give you about another whole untapped side of yourself. It's a website for writers, that's what it is all about and you do your best to write the best bit of prose you know how. You write on your tip toes, keeping in mind your audience of critical readers. There are no prima donnas, just kind people who encourage each other as much as possible and set challenges for you to participate in.
I'll still be blogging, but with a little less fervor than I have been. I'll skip some blogs that I get little or no reaction from. I'll glance at those that may or may not interest me. The list will get shorter. I'll not be a super blogger anymore. That's like being a super mommy or a super housewife. I think I've left all those stages behind me.
I think I am slowly getting out of my depressed phase now. Everything doesn't seem so awful anymore and there is no more black hole in front of me. A lot of the black clouds have disappeared. That's part of a song, isn't it?
Well ciao, my best buddies, have a good evening. I think I'll turn in early myself.