Monday, March 09, 2009
One of the things I did yesterday, was have a good long think about my computer habits and how unhappy I was about them, It seemed to me that I was spending too much time behind the computer to the detriment of everything else and to the detriment of my mental health, because I think that a lot of times, I sit behind the computer because I am avoiding my own thoughts and things in my life I should be paying closer attention to.
So, I made a decision to have the computer off during the day and to not have Firefox automatically open up certain sites that I spend too much time on, to the point that it becomes obsessive.I think that I have decided this before in the not so far away past and stuck to it for awhile, but fell back into the bad habit of having the computer on at all hours.
I see now that this is ridiculous and unhealthy for me and that I need to stop it, because it is becoming an addiction that dictates my life and I really do believe that it is bad for my mental health.
Today I had the computer off all day. I had it on for awhile in the early morning, but then I had to get ready for creative therapy and turned it off. When I got home, I didn't turn it on again and instead did some chores and took a nice nap on the sofa, which I think I need to do every afternoon if I want to feel well the rest of the day.
Instead of taking the nap, I would have sat behind the computer, furiously doing what I thought were many interesting things, but in fact were only things that were exhausting me.
I didn't turn the computer on again until I was sure that it was a matter of choice and not compulsion and that I would be ready to turn it off again when I was truly done with it.
That brings me to the matter of blogging. I don't think that at this time I have many interesting things to tell you, so it may be possible that for a while, I'll write fewer posts. I am not in a good frame of mind to write very cheerful and interesting things right now. I haven't quite got out of my dip like I thought I had and the 20th anniversary of my mother's death has made more of an impact than I had expected. I am searching for a bit of happiness right now and I need to go off and find it.
I'll keep visiting all your blogs and leaving comments as usual. Unless I just don't have the energy for it.
Have a great evening and be happy.