Monday, March 09, 2009

Life.


One of the things I did yesterday, was have a good long think about my computer habits and how unhappy I was about them, It seemed to me that I was spending too much time behind the computer to the detriment of everything else and to the detriment of my mental health, because I think that a lot of times, I sit behind the computer because I am avoiding my own thoughts and things in my life I should be paying closer attention to.

So, I made a decision to have the computer off during the day and to not have Firefox automatically open up certain sites that I spend too much time on, to the point that it becomes obsessive.I think that I have decided this before in the not so far away past and stuck to it for awhile, but fell back into the bad habit of having the computer on at all hours.

I see now that this is ridiculous and unhealthy for me and that I need to stop it, because it is becoming an addiction that dictates my life and I really do believe that it is bad for my mental health.

Today I had the computer off all day. I had it on for awhile in the early morning, but then I had to get ready for creative therapy and turned it off. When I got home, I didn't turn it on again and instead did some chores and took a nice nap on the sofa, which I think I need to do every afternoon if I want to feel well the rest of the day.

Instead of taking the nap, I would have sat behind the computer, furiously doing what I thought were many interesting things, but in fact were only things that were exhausting me.

I didn't turn the computer on again until I was sure that it was a matter of choice and not compulsion and that I would be ready to turn it off again when I was truly done with it.

That brings me to the matter of blogging. I don't think that at this time I have many interesting things to tell you, so it may be possible that for a while, I'll write fewer posts. I am not in a good frame of mind to write very cheerful and interesting things right now. I haven't quite got out of my dip like I thought I had and the 20th anniversary of my mother's death has made more of an impact than I had expected. I am searching for a bit of happiness right now and I need to go off and find it.

I'll keep visiting all your blogs and leaving comments as usual. Unless I just don't have the energy for it.

Have a great evening and be happy.

Ciao...

12 comments:

Lane said...

What always impresses me whenever I read your posts, is how tuned in you are to your moods/behaviour. And if something errs or needs altering, you get onto it. You really are The Finely Tuned Woman:-)
I hope you find that bit of happiness Irene. I think you will.

Also wanted to say, anniversaries of deaths are hard, however many years it's been. Thinking of you.

Bev said...

Everything in moderation.

I always read your blog everyday, even if I don't write comments, but fully understand it must be extremely hard work coming up with a posting everyday. None of this blogging circle has managed it apart from you. X

Maggie May said...

I only seem to manage 3 posts a week. Any more than that and I wouldn't be coping! I do spend time on other people's blogs though.
I tend to do my blogging in short bursts & find myself answering a few comments and then doing something else.
Maybe some days you will want to blog more and other days not at all. It really doesn't matter.

Have a good night Irene.X

Wisewebwoman said...

You will find the happiness within, Irene.
And it will make itself known in the quiet stillness of your heart.
Wise decisions, my dear.
Blessed be.
XO
WWW

pebbledash said...

Hello Irene, I know only too well what it's like to be sucked in by the computer, so that it becomes a compulsion. Good for you for taking control of it. Go gently. Anniversaries can be tough, can't they, regardless of the time passed.

John said...

Your blog is always interesting and so well written. And so dryly funny sometimes.

I support you - my good blog.friend...

I might also be posting less, having less time to do my little quilts. Work, home, chores, life.

My best. Take care.

Catherine said...

good for you to make a conscious decision to scale back on the computer and I wish you every good luck on that score. Like I said before you are a very honest blogger and that is admirable. I find it easy to time-waste on the computer and I am limiting time on it so that I do other stuff like knitting and reading that are important. Only post when you want to share something or feel the muse is nudging you.

Maureen said...

It's all about finding balance. Too much of anything isn't good. So blog when you want, visit when you want.

I have no idea how you manage to post daily. I can only manage two, maybe, rarely, three times a week.

Take care and enjoy everything in life....

Debi said...

I'm thinking of you, Sweet Irene.

Sometimes I think you are my Dutch ghost and I am your Texas one, as we have gone through similar periods of stress the last few years.

There's so much to say, but I'm missing the words right now. I am thinking of you. I wish I lived up the street from you, or you lived down the street from me. I'd buy some tulips that are blooming in at the grocery stores now, some for me, some for you. I'd pop over with yours. We'd put them in some water, and have some coffee and a smoke together.

Brighid said...

Irene, You are such a special lady. Thanks for the posts of the past, and the future ones. I've cut back on my computer time as well, how freeing.
Best Regards from
Intellectual Incognito

laurie said...

what lane said. all of it.

we're here whenever you want us.

Frances said...

love you.
hugs