I ought to...

I should be running around now like a chicken with its head cut off, but instead I'm sitting here cool as a cucumber writing this post. I am a terrible housewife and think I can pull the whole thing off in less than one hour. I probably will too. I'll pretend to be in great haste and speed through my chores like a mad Tasmanian Devil and get them done in the shortest amount of time. Well, I don't have to pretend to be in great haste, I will actually be so, because J. will be here at 2 pm and I better be done by then. Do you think I like to live on the edge? I would say I do.

I was up part of the night and went to bed early in the morning. The alarm clock woke me at 7 am, but I shut it off, of course, and went back to sleep. When I was ready to wake up, I really wasn't. I could have slept some more and I've needed two cups of coffee to wake up properly and many cigarettes. My addictions have been adequately fed now and I am just about ready to face the inevitability of the day.

We're going to have rain showers today, but it is actually going to be warm for the time of year. A whole 16C, that is 60F for you Americans. It is unheard of.

I'm going to rattle through this post as fast as I can and only tell you things that happen to pop up in my head randomly. Oh yes, I posted a new story on my writing blog. You know where to find it. At least I hope you do. If you don't, you can find it here. There, I helped you out after all. Now there's no excuse not to go and read it. It's a six sentences.

I must remember to not slump in the chair, but to sit upright, because it is better for my back. Sometimes I'm leaning way over to the left and I wonder why I can't see the keyboard properly. Right now I'm doing my best to sit up straight with both feet planted firmly on the ground, and believe me, it is a much better position to be in. It's so easy to forget good habits and to let yourself sit like a sack of potatoes, resulting in all sorts of aches in your body that are unnecessary. The thing to remember is to have both feet on the ground and both buns planted firmly in the chair and to have your back straight and self supporting.

I think my mattress must be a very good one, because I rarely wake up with a backache. It is a firm one and the underlying system is firm too. It doesn't give a lot. I had to get used to it when I first had it and I thought it was too firm and I thought I wouldn't be able to sleep on it, but now that I've had it for more than a year, I must say that it has been good for me and that I seldom have backaches anymore. But I do get muscle aches from sitting incorrectly in the computer chair and because of the curve in my spine, I will always have that tendency to lean to the left.

Lord, if that's the worst of it, then I don't have much to complain about. I will count my blessings as I discover them and remember to look for them in all the right places. They shouldn't be too hard to find.

This opposed to the situation my blogging friend Maggie May finds herself in. It would be very good of you if you stopped by her blog and sent her some good thoughts and well wishes, because she sure can use them now. She just discovered that she has secondary cancer and has to deal with that fact and it is very difficult, but she's a real trooper. It makes me want to count my blessings all the more and appreciate my good health every day of my life. From one day to the next, you can suddenly find yourself in a completely life altering situation.

The animals are becoming unruly and want to be fed and watered. My plants want to be watered too. I forgot to do that last week and they look a little dry, especially now that I have the heater on. Actually, the heater goes on seldom, because it does stay warm in here very well. I have the thermometer set at 20C and I feel the radiators every once in a while, but very often they are cold, meaning the space is warm enough. Bless my neighbors for that.

I need to get the show on the road now and get dressed and start cleaning. I'll whip that vacuum cleaner through the apartment so fast, I'll be like Speedy Gonzalez. And mop that bathroom floor. Nothing can defeat me. I'll do it with the greatest of ease and all the muscle power I have.

I hope you all have a wonderful day and that you don't have all those ran showers like we are having. Unless you need them, of course. Maybe you are in a very dry part of the world.

Ciao,
Nora

I wish...

I actually got six hours of uninterrupted sleep last night. I decided, after getting some good advice from some friends, to make my sleeping pattern more normal and to not stay up all night anymore. What I think is actually happening, is that I'm displaying some hypo manic behavior, without actually being hypo manic, and the reason I am not, is due to the fact that some of my medication has been increased. I am, amongst other things, changing the looks of my blog and adding new blogs, without keeping in mind if I will be able to keep these up. So, I have to keep an eye on myself, so I don't start to run rampant and crash and burn. Enough said about that, I will be good and watch myself better.

I posted a new six sentences on my writings blog, so please go there if you have the time. I wish lots of people would become followers. It would make me feel good if I knew that a lot of people were reading me, because I write to be read and to get feedback from people who themselves write and don't all bloggers do that? These are nuggets of myself that I'm giving away, much more so than my art. My art is a physical manifestation of my outer self, my writings are a psychological manifestation of my inner self, the real me, dressed in prose, in evening wear if you will. I lay bare my soul in them and you can see glimpses, if not outright vistas, of me and my innermost self. That's saying a lot.

While I write this, I'm doing chores at the same time. I've now got dishes soaking in the kitchen sink and I've already cleaned up the kitchen counter and done the trash and picked up the living room. The Exfactor was here and brought me two rolls of whole wheat biscuits. I scolded him for doing so, but he left them anyway. I don't know what I'm going to do with them, except eat them, which I always say I won't, but which I always do. My excuse is that they're good for me, but it's a very flimsy one. They are more bad for me than that they're good for me.

I have to take the dry laundry off the drying rack and hang up the next load to dry. I don't mind doing this, but I get distracted and forget about it and then it sits in the machine while I'm with my head in the clouds. I must make it a point to remember it today, otherwise it will get stinky and I'll have to wash it again. I seriously like doing laundry, because it is such a satisfactory job, but I am forgetful and a load of laundry takes me days to do until it is clean and dry. Thanks goodness that I hardly do any ironing. It would take weeks.

I also don't mind doing the dishes, but I act like I do and let them stack up until it seems unmanageable. Then I get it in my head to do them and I rinse and organize them and suddenly it seems that there aren't that many and they are done in no time. It's sheer intimidation that stops me from functioning sometimes. The intimidation of unorganized things. Once you've sorted everything out, it's always less daunting than it looked in the first place.

There, I've just done the dishes, Now I'll take a break and do the laundry next. I'm using my instant reward system. It works if applied diligently. There must be no wavering and no dawdling about the job. The minute the coffee is gone and the cigarette has been smoked, I must get up and do the next thing, with the expectancy that I get to sit down here again as soon as it's done, but I must think about another job I can do in the meantime. There is always something that needs to get done, even if it is as lowly a job as scrubbing the toilet, and you all know how I feel about that!

My dog is forgetting that he has not been walked yet this afternoon and is sound asleep on his blanket. No doubt he will wake up just as I'm about to hang up the laundry.He will have to wait his turn. I must do everything in the proper order. There will be no chaos reigning here.

Okay, that was the laundry. My psychiatrist just called me to discuss my medication with me. He wanted to make sure that the amounts I was taking were what I should be taking and that I wasn't taking too much of any kind. He was getting ready to fax new prescriptions to the pharmacy. I think he is a very conscientious man, He doesn't just go ahead and write a prescription, he wants to talk to the patient first, even though he has seen me not too long ago. He always calls me when he is about to write a prescription, just to make sure I'm in my right mind, I think. I think he would know fast enough if I were not okay, if there were something wrong with me and I was up front with him and told him I am showing signs of hypo mania.Therefor he knew why I was using up the anti psychotic quicker than usual and why I had not gone back yet to my old dose. It's good to be in good hands. It makes me feel safe.

The laundry just fit on the drying rack. I had sheets and assorted stuff. I have new laundry, but not enough to run the machine. It will have to wait. I must dirty some things first. I even found two pairs of matching socks that had originally been separated, but I knew if I waited long enough they would pair up again. I have clean pajamas for tonight, that will be something to look forward to.

I have to sweep and mop the kitchen floor next. I will need extra courage for that, for the mopping part, because I don't like mopping. It never turns out as well as I want it to. It's an exercise in frustration. First I will walk the dog, I think he is ready now.

The dog wanted to go for a longer walk than we normally do, so we did, although I had to curb his enthusiasm a little bit. I wasn't about to be dragged all over the neighborhood. We made compromises. As soon as we got in the turdy neighborhood I turned around. That's where people don't pick up the dog poop in the little green area. I'm not about to walk around there. It's very much disgusting and somehow they are getting away with it and there's a playground right by it.

I've just eaten a bowl of porridge and it has made me sleepy, so now I long for a nap, but I must not lay down and fall asleep, because then my schedule will get turned upside down again. It's taken the wind out of my sails completely. I will sit down in the armchair and read my book with a cup of coffee or a glass of fruit juice.

Right, so much for sweeping and mopping the kitchen floor.

Have a great rest of the day, be good for goodness sake.

Ciao,
Nora.