Friday, May 23, 2014

Some odd days

I have to admit that I have not been feeling quite like my "normal" self (whatever that is supposed to feel like) and I can only guess that it is due to having quit that extra antidepressant about ten days ago. It would be strange if I did not have any withdrawal symptoms at all, and the the odd moments that I go through now must be the effect of them. I would be worried if I did not know what was the matter, but at least I know what to blame these feelings on. I will be patient and wait for these symptoms to disappear, although at times they are a bit hard to bear. Luckily, they are momentary and do not last for a long time. 

I do have to say that having pain chronically is also wearing me down. I realized that when I got up out of bed and my back immediately hurt and I felt so miserable because of it. I wouldn't be so bad if it were a dull ache, but this is a sharp pain, and I suppose I was already tired of pain after having to deal with it in my eyes (which I still am).  It is all good and well to try and stay cheerful and optimistic, but these sort of things do get frustrating and you get exhausted from them and wish for them to be gone. I very much want to go about my daily life in a more normal way. 

I did pull the weeds yesterday, but I left the ones that were too tough to get out. You would not have believed all the little critters that lived in them and how disturbing it was for them that I destroyed their living quarters.  I filled the small green container with weeds and will have to remember to put it out on the curb next Sunday evening. I still have to trim the plants out back and will have to have an empty container to put the waste in, unless I start a compost pile again like I did last time. I am afraid that my Californian ex, who knows nothing about compost piles, will think that is a sloppy way to garden. 

I voted in the European election, but the voter turn out was low, which is a real shame. People complain, but then don't feel called upon to cast their vote. According to me, you lose the right to complain if you do that, because it is the same as if in any other election. It shows mental and civil laziness if you can't be bothered. You have to take the responsibility to care and you can always cast a protest vote. 

I had the opportunity to stop by the bakery yesterday to buy chocolate croissants, but I didn't do it, much as I was tempted. I decided that this was something which should stay a special ritual that the Exfactor is in charge of and that I would only eat them if he brought them over for coffee on Saturday morning. Some things have to stay sacred. I will have to have a similar ritual with my American ex for Sunday mornings when the other bakery is open. I am sure they have delicious things to eat also. 

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