After having been on the waiting lists for an apartment up north for a year and a half, I got a letter in the mail yesterday offering me one now that I have decided not to move. Timing is everything in life, isn't it?
Enough time has passed since I applied for an apartment that I have been able to consider the consequences of a big move, and I realized that it could possibly be much too upsetting for me. I would have to leave my whole support system behind me and try to build up a new one up there and that could be difficult and leave me in a rough spot for a while. This could have all sorts of possible effects on my mental wellbeing and I don't mean very positive ones. I have too many people in place here making sure I do well, to easily replace somewhere else, and that would make it difficult to just up and move.
I had just come to the conclusion that I would not and had started to concentrate on fixing up this apartment and making it the place that I really want to live in. It is tempting to move into a new place and making it into the showplace I want it to be, but with a little bit of effort this apartment I already live in can be also. It needs paint and wallpaper and some loving decorative touches, but they are not impossible to apply. Now that I can wrap my mind around that, I can see that it is a job I can tackle with a little bit of help from my best friends.
As it is, I found an inexpensive solution for a window treatment in the living room yesterday after thinking I was going to have to spend all sorts of money that I did not have. I do love it when I have my Eureka! moments and come up with an imaginative way to solve a problem. When you're forced to think creatively, you always find a way in the end.
So, I am not moving up north but staying in this pretty town in the south instead. It is not so strange, after all, because I have lived here for 20 years and the place has grown on me. Maybe if I had gone up north a few times since I was there a year and a half ago, the decision would have been harder, but now I have peace with it. I don't feel such a huge connection with it right now that my heart strings are pulled. I am not torn in two. That may also have a lot to do with my state of mind lately. I think being steady has done me a lot of good.