Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Stuff also happens...

Our local elections for city councils are today nation wide and I voted this morning for my second favorite party because the party I wanted to vote for was not running in this local election. Still, I feel good enough about the party I did vote for because they are more than competent enough to do a good job representing my point of view and wishes. I can't wait to find out how well it will do. The outcome and voter turn out will be shown on television tonight and I will be keeping track.
I went to the voting place with my personal helper and Tyke, because it was a good outing at the same time and Tyke still needed his walk. Because I was so hopelessly depressed this morning when I first got up, I had gone back to bed and was still asleep when the personal helper came to the door at 9 am. I was not in any sort of shape to have a conversation at that point, but because of her presence, I did perk up a bit quicker than I normally do. Lately, as a rule, it takes me all morning to come out of my depression and it isn't until about noontime that I am back to 'normal.'
Yesterday, the Exfactor and I went to the course for bipolar people and as usual, it took its toll on me. I think that was the reason why I was especially in such bad shape this morning. I seem to not deal with the after effects well. They weigh heavy on my mind and I ruminate about everything that was talked about and that I brought to the discussion in disproportionate amounts. This drives me to worry and feel shame and guilt and these are feelings that I thought I had dealt with a long time ago.
This afternoon, I had a lunch date with one of the women I met for International Women's Day at my friend M's house. I was in good shape by that time and perfectly capable of carrying on a good conversation and eating at the same time. It turned out that this woman and I had a lot of interests in common and we talked nonstop for two hours. Her name starts with an M also, so I'll call her M2. It was definitely a date worth repeating, so we will be seeing more of each other in the near future. I can't wait until the next time.
Later in the afternoon, Tyke and I went to M's house, and for the first time that day, M's dog got up from her pillow and drank some water. That is because of Tyke's presence. He makes her come to life. M. and I had some coffee and that did make me wiry, so when I got home, I had to switch to lemonade in order to come down to earth again. In just a moment, I am going to fix dinner, and despite a very good lunch, I am more than ready to eat again. I will never not have a good meal.
It is still the little things like a good meal and good company that make life worth living and that is what I have to keep in mind, although it is hard to remember that in the morning when I am so very depressed and don't want to live any longer. It is a good thing that a pill to end it all does not exist because I would take it then and, although I would not live to regret it, it would be an awfully sad thing.  

1 comment:

Rob said...

Well, fortunately your last state was much better than your first. I can entirely understand that. Getting into the details of one's condition can a bit overwhelming. Or more than just a bit.

I'm so glad that you and Tyke have friends you can visit. Glad that you got out.

And who won the election?

Do take care, Irene.

Blessings and Bear hugs!