Wednesday, November 07, 2012

Manic depression.

The whole trick of living with manic depression is that you must always be willing to live with whatever longer term mood you find yourself in. It doesn't do any good to try and hold on to the one that you have been in for the past half year when your body decides that it is time for another one. You best give in and go along with it and you will find that the way of the least resistance is best. It is actually like falling into a fluffely made bed. 

I wasn't at first sure if my mood was changing for the longer term. At first I thought that there was just something wrong that I had not settled properly and that I needed to deal with. There usually is and having done that, I was ready to get on with things. But today I realized that my mood had changed just like the weather and the season had and that I needed to adjust myself to this changed mood and I have.

This has not at all been a painful thing to do and I am not in the least suffering because of it. I can embrace this new mood and find out how I function with it and how it makes me fill in my days. I had already noticed that I had more need for sleep so I took care of that by taking an extra nap during the day. I am also just a tad less energetic but it isn't really that noticeable and someone else may not be able to tell at all. I feel it like a bit of laziness that has krept into me. 

I would call neither one of my extremes of moods manic ot depressive at this point. They are too agreeable for that. Because of my own attitude, and I'm sure also because of the medication, I don't do a lot of suffering anymore. The days of the roller coaster rides are well behind me and I function quite normally now. I am better put together than a lot of other people I know. 

I don't mind functioning in a lower gear and I am sure that there is no one in my environment who is going to object. That is also the nice thing about living alone with only the animals. I don't have to take anyone else into account and can move at my own pace on my own sxhedule. 

The important thing is to make no judgments about myself and to let me be completely who I am now. There is no good or bad. There is only other. 


Gail said...

Glad you have come to that conclusion. Kinda back to the hippie days of saying, "If it feels good, do it."

Carole said...

Well said Irene. And I like your new header picture a lot.