Thursday, June 17, 2010

Enough sleep...

After I walked Tyke this morning, I decided to go back to bed immediately. I was still tired and I wasn't in the mood to do my chores, feeling unable to face them as sleepy as I was. I climbed into my bed and read for a little while and fell sound asleep. I didn't wake up until 1:30 pm.

I was surprised that I had slept for such a long time, but I felt great when I got up, though totally not in the mood to do anything. I turned on the computer and read blogs and comments and wiled away the time. I didn't in the least bit feel bad about not doing any of the chores I was supposed to do. I was the one who had told myself to do them and I would do them when I was good and ready.

I did take Tyke for another walk and he was happy for it. You can't neglect your dog, no matter how lazy you feel. I wonder if it is laziness I feel or just plain exhaustion, considering I slept so much yesterday too. It could be mental tiredness, because I do suffer from that quickly and what seems like an ordinary day to most people can be very tiring to me and I may be putting in more effort than seems apparent.

Likewise when I say I'm very normal and sane. When I say that, I'm probably less sane than I claim to be. It's when I'm less sure that I'm more sane. I think a lot of times I'm not normal at all and I don't know how many of you feel that you are. It's all very well to go around and claim that you are, but it's another thing to actually be it. I think on the crazy scale I'm more often closer to crazy than I am normal. It's exhausting to try and appear normal all the time and to constantly have to check if you are and pass the test.

I think I really ought not to give a darn and just be as I am and not worry about how I come across. That's very brave of me to say, but I wonder if I can do it? Can anybody do that? It would be a world full of eccentrics. I suppose social pressure forces us to adapt to a certain extent. I just wish it wasn't so much. I would feel a lot more freedom if I didn't have an internal judge guarding over me constantly who checked if I behaved socially acceptable. Do you have someone watching over you like that too?

I'm drinking my third glass of milk. I have an unquenchable thirst. I think I will make myself a cup of coffee next and make sure I save enough milk until the next shopping trip. I always have to count the containers of milk and the days left until the Exfactor goes shopping again. I usually make it, but not if I drink it like water from an oasis.

Sometimes, when Tyke is stretched out on the floor, it takes me a while to figure out what's the top of him and what's the bottom. I just had to take a good hard look to find out. I couldn't figure out where his head was, because his eyes were closed and there were all these ears and legs sticking out that looked alike. He is cute once you figure it out. He looks like a big stuffed animal that you want to cuddle with.

I'm teaching him to fetch now and he's slowly catching on. We're doing it with an old pair of rolled up socks, because he likes them a lot. We also found a tennis ball today on our walk and brought that home. He's been playing with that and hasn't demolished it yet. I'll use that to play fetch with next. It will bounce really well. Hopefully I won't break anything in the apartment.

There, I've completely wasted the day. I haven't done anything useful but write some posts and play with the dog and the living room and the kitchen are a reflection of that. Tomorrow is another day. Hopefully I won't waste half of it with sleeping. I do want to get some things done. I really need to be over this wish to sleep now. My bed can't become that much of an attraction, nor can the sofa for that matter. They are both to be stayed away from.

I hope you all have a good evening. The weather was nice here today. It wasn't too warm and a pleasant breeze was blowing. It should always be like this.



Twain12 said...

i think we all have those internal judges and sometime they get on our nerves lol
hope you have a good night

Nedine Says said...

Nora, Occasionallly I meet people that say they don't give a damn what other people think but I hardly ever believe them. It would be lovely to be so uninhibited that you didn't care a fig what others thought of you but I am not one of those. I came from a family that cared too much what other people were thinking about us, when in fact I doubt anyone really paid us much mind, if at all. Funny how we all think other people giving us so much of their mental energy. It takes a lifetime to really discover who you are and feel comfortable with who you are, at least in my case that is true. If I can offer an observation...obviously I don't know you except through your blog but I am sure as I can be that your fatigue is in large part due to the medications you take. I have a little knowledge of this situation,although not personally. Is there any way they could be adjusted so that you weren't so exhausted all the time. Forgive me if this is a naive question.

Bev said...

Nice to hear about your new dog. I find it's great having a dog because they always need exercise come rain or shine so you are made to exercise each day whether you want to or not! On the occasions I have been without a dog I have always put on weight!

Nora said...

Hi Bev, yes, having a young dog around certainly keeps you in shape. He does walk a little bit quicker than my old dog did and he needs more exercise. I think I will always have a dog, but maybe not as I really get old. It may be too much work. I will always have a cat or two. That's for sure. I can't live without an animal. How are you?

Nora said...

Nedine, it would be nice if we got to the point when we really didn't care what other people thought of us and you're right, other people probably care less than we think. We just give them more power over us than is necessary.

You could be right about my medication. Un fortunately, I need it all. It's very carefully tuned.

Nedine Says said...

Nora,That is a great observation about giving over our power to others. Hope you didn't mind my question about the medication. I guess I worry too much about people even if I don't know them personally,not necessarily a bad thing I guess. Take care, Nedine

Nora said...

Nedine, I didn't mind you asking about the medication at all. It was a valid question. I could have been overdosed. I do get periods during which I am more tired easily. It get off balance quickly.

Bernie said...

Glad you were able to go back to bed and must of needed it Nora.

I had a great morning, and a wonderful lunch with my friend but have been having tummy issues the past couple of hours. I have taken a gravol to help settle it but so far it is still upset. I will be going to bed early tonight.

Take care my friend and don't worry about what people think, I use to be that way but haven't been for a very long time. When they are talking about me then they are leaving others alone. I honestly can say I do not worry about what others think or say about me.....I like who I am, and that is what counts....:-) Hugs