Sunday, June 13, 2010

A bright blue sky...

I woke up to a bright blue sky, but in the short time that I've been up, clouds have started to move in from the west. The sun is still shining, but I'm worried about those clouds and what they may hold. I hope it doesn't mean more rain.

I slept well enough, even though I went to bed late. That was due to my long afternoon nap, which rested me a little bit too well. Nevertheless, I fell sleep quickly and had interesting dreams about a house that I was adding rooms to and about a feral cat that had a kitten that was tame. Both the feral cat and the kitten were very beautiful and I had the feeling that the kitten was a clone of the mother. They looked exactly alike. An immaculate conception maybe.

I dream about the house regularly and every time I do, I add a room to it, never in the same architectural design and all with different views from the windows. I have to work out such things as where the doors and the stairways go and what to put on the floors and where to put the furniture. These are always very satisfying dreams and I'm sure they are very symbolic to my life. I'm sure I've mentioned this before and I'm repeating myself, but maybe it is news to some of you.

I just took Tyke for a walk and saw that there were clouds all over the place and it is chilly outside. I didn't get dressed, but put on my denim jacket over my pajamas, which look like lounge wear. I've never done that before, but I wasn't in the mood to get dressed. I was so comfortable in what I was wearing and I figured I wouldn't meet anyone anyway. Well, I hardly met anyone and I don't think they noticed, because I didn't notice what they were wearing. Now I'm sitting here nice and cozy again and I won't have to get dressed for a few hours. I will always take into account from now on when I buy pajamas, how they will look when I wear them outside. I could just buy sweat pants and a sweat shirt, of course.

I'm glad today is Sunday and I'll be doing chores that will give some purpose to the day. I don't have that many to do, but they will keep me busy for a while. I see things that need to get done all the time, but then have to remember that I do have domestic help and that they have to do some of the work too. I don't want to get over optimistic and start doing all sorts of jobs and find out down the line that I can't keep up with them. That would just be my kind of bad luck, although I shouldn't say that. In spite of everything, I don't really have bad luck, because something always works out. I have good luck in bad times, let's put it that way.

This month it is two years ago since the Exfactor and I separated. It seems like it was much longer. It feels like I have been single for a long time. I have never really regretted it. I have been lonely at times and I have missed him, but for the most part it has been a good thing and I have been a lot healthier on my own. It has forced me to face my issues by myself and that has been a lot better. Adding an intimate relationship to the equation only complicated things. I can't handle another person's issues along side my own. Personalities clash and needs get in the way. Now I only have to worry about my own needs and idiosyncrasies. They don't reverberate off the other person's. It's much simpler. Our divorce was final in October. I must look up the date and enter it in my agenda. It will be a good one to remember. The day I was emancipated.

First we have the summer, which so far is not looking very promising, although I have to remember that it is still springtime. Even so, it's not been a very good springtime. It's been cold and I've had the heater on often. The lack of sunshine is making my eczema act up and I'll have to get the ointment out. It was just getting better. The tan lines on my feet are still barely there.

It's time to get some work done. Duty does call. I wish you all a good day and good weather.



Twain12 said...

interesting dream , i'm sure there is some meaning to it too. Maybe rebuilding your life.
You are right about your divorce, sometimes it is for the better and it seems like you two figured out how to get along, so that is a good thing.
Have a good Sunday ♥

Friend of the Bear said...

Hi Nora. I used to dream a lot about houses too. I would be walking through a house and see rooms I couldn't enter, or that were of an entirely different and new design. Sometimes I would see the building from the top and see that there were many rooms I hadn't yet discovered.

It was always the same building though. And felt very symbolic.

I took it that the rooms were different aspects of myself and my life that I had yet to discover.

I love having meaningful dreams! I haven't had one about that house for a very long time though.

It's muggy but overcast here. At least it's much better than sunshine! I'm supposed to be seeing the Bear today but I think it may not happen as it's 3.45 already and no call.

I was just thinking last night about whether it's even possible for me to have another relationship. Probably not. I miss the caring but not the constant pressure to have sex!

Bearfriend xx