To make a long story short, I have a malignant tumor on my thyroid and tumors in my lymph glands by my lungs. A PET scan will show if they have metastasized to other places in my body, but they probably have already to my spine and that is why I have such pain there. The pain medicine I am taking is the right kind and is also keeping the pain from the other places in check, beside the pain in my back. The reason my voice is so hoarse is because the tumor is pressing on a nerve that is going right by my vocal chord.
Until the PET scan is made, I don't know what my prognosis is or what the treatment plan is going to be, but the circus will start next week and blood work will first be done. I am patient and will be ready when the time comes for whatever comes. I have had a good cry, but I am mostly alright and well put together considering the circumstances. I am having a stiff drink right now, but I thought I could allow myself one. I did want to take the edge of and feel a bit more mellow. I think I deserve that.
I wanted to allow my sister to take care of me, but I have changed my mind about that and think (considering her personality) that this is not such a good idea. I have asked the Cowboy to do this instead because I think he would do a much more proficient job. He has now changed his plans and is only going to Rome for a few days and is returning here on Tuesday. He is not going to Naples and Corfu. I am so grateful for that and am enormously relieved. I realized that I was in a jam otherwise.
The Cowboy has a lot of experience with cancer and the treatment and the whole process because of our son who had cancer of a rare kind. He got treatment and went into remission and then, in the end, died of it anyway. The Cowboy was his mainstay through the whole thing and I know that he can do a competent job and is very knowledgeable.
I have never had anything this seriously wrong with me, so this is a whole new experience for me and I don't know what to expect either. I will live from one day to the next and take it as it comes. I am planning on putting up a good fight and prolonging my life as much as is possible, I am a tough broad, after all.