Hanging in there

I get worn out quicker than I used to and especially at the end of the day that can be a problem. By that time, I have been visiting with people, and talking a lot, and generally up and about and moving around, so when the evening comes along, I start to feel very tired and quickly out of breath. I really ought to go to bed at that point and sleep for a couple of hours, but I am also still too wound up to do so. 

Yesterday evening, I had two glasses of white wine first to help me relax, and I then fell into a sound sleep which was wonderful. I woke up about three hours later completely refreshed and in much better shape mentally too. Life with cancer does get a bit overwhelming at times. My body does not co-operate as well anymore. It wants to do everything at a much slower pace. It does not like for me to do a lot of things in a hurry. I am simply incapable of that.

I did not expect ever to slow down like this and to really feel so impeded, but I have to face reality and pace myself. It is in a very short time that this has happened. I can still take Tyke for his walks so I am glad about that and as a rule Tyke is not in a hurry, but dawdles a lot. I must keep taking him for walks even when the Cowboy is back from Rome because I am sure that it is good for me. Maybe we can go together because I know that the Cowboy likes to go for walks also. 

I realize that I must adjust my habits and my schedule if I am successfully going to live with cancer. I will be a trial and error process while I find the best way. I do have to remember that I am very new at this. I have been practicing not feeling well for a while, but I didn't get it right then because I didn't know what was the matter. 

The Exfactor surprised me with chocolate croissants this morning and they were so fresh and good. He had bought extra so there was another one for my sister to have with her tea later. There is one left to have tomorrow morning and I think he is bringing over more. He had already brought over a very pure chocolate bar earlier in the week and my friend M. brought over another one in the afternoon. I share them with my sister and we try to make them last as long as possible. Chocolate is the food of the gods.