Tuesday, April 08, 2014

It will pass eventually...

I have been in a bad mood since yesterday morning and with that I mean that I have been a terrible grouch since that time. I don't feel at all kindly towards anybody and am completely out of patience when it comes to what I think is any bullshit. And let's face it, you do have to wade through it up to your knees sometimes. Well, I don't feel like doing that and have stopped that activity simply because of my grouchiness. And I think this state of mind must serve some kind of function in that it allows me to sort out what is important and what isn't.
Therefor I am allowing myself to be in this bad mood and not to fight it at all like I started out to. At first I thought I was not allowed to feel this way, but I have since changed my mind and now I let myself be as grouchy as I need to. In the end I will get over it, or maybe not and I will stay this way forever and this will be my new permanent attitude. I am embracing it anyway and will not condemn myself for it. I am not unkind to myself and spare myself the sharp edge of my cynicism, but I do not allow any bullshit from myself either.
It feels good to write this down so I can get this clear for myself. At least now I know I have to never pretend to be in a good mood again. It will be a cold day in hell if I ever fall into that behavior again.
Newly found attitudes can unburden you from all sorts of negative feelings that you may have been walking around with. Whatever you thought was your own bullshit may turn out to be the bullshit of the people around you and you can give it right back to them. You don't have to take the responsibility for that anymore. It is also okay to kick against 'holy institutions' and create your own rules to live by. Do assume that you know what you are doing and don't try to please everyone else.

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