It has been a while since I have written anything here. That is because I have decided to take my early retirement this week and not worry so much about the things I usually do, but let myself rest on my laurels instead. I have been loafing about and discovered that it agrees with me very well.
Of course, I have no appointments this week, either to go to or for anyone to come here, and to me that is like having a stress free vacation. Not even the domestic help is going to be here and I have to keep the toilet clean all on my own. I have a sea of time and no commitments and I am delirious with happiness.
I am sure that I was supposed to be a hermit, but not one that had to do without the basic comforts of living, so I am actually not far from my preordained life, all things considered. Give me a computer, and a cat and a dog for company, and I am one contented woman. The older I get, the closer I come to my destiny. And I am selfish enough to embrace it with both arms.
My life has already been so goddamn exhausting and difficult that I think I deserve early retirement, and I know that I can't deal with anymore stress. I have had more than enough of that and am not resistant to it anymore. If I have to take a tranquilizer on a regular basis to make it through the day, I know I need a very simple and uncomplicated life..
I am trying very hard not to have critical voices in my head who want to tell me how I should behave according to the standards of society. I want to make my own rules to live by for myself. I am done with living according to how it is supposed to be and I would dare anyone to trade places with me if they think I am taking the easy way out.
I do have to say, that a bonus is that I am not looking for romantic love and companionship. Any relationship I have with anyone at all is strictly platonic and that sure takes any sort of complication out of it. I find that to be a great comfort. Besides, I like my freedom too much to be part of a unit.