It has been a while since I have written anything here. That is because I have decided to take my early retirement this week and not worry so much about the things I usually do, but let myself rest on my laurels instead. I have been loafing about and discovered that it agrees with me very well.
Of course, I have no appointments this week, either to go to or for anyone to come here, and to me that is like having a stress free vacation. Not even the domestic help is going to be here and I have to keep the toilet clean all on my own. I have a sea of time and no commitments and I am delirious with happiness.
I am sure that I was supposed to be a hermit, but not one that had to do without the basic comforts of living, so I am actually not far from my preordained life, all things considered. Give me a computer, and a cat and a dog for company, and I am one contented woman. The older I get, the closer I come to my destiny. And I am selfish enough to embrace it with both arms.
My life has already been so goddamn exhausting and difficult that I think I deserve early retirement, and I know that I can't deal with anymore stress. I have had more than enough of that and am not resistant to it anymore. If I have to take a tranquilizer on a regular basis to make it through the day, I know I need a very simple and uncomplicated life..
I am trying very hard not to have critical voices in my head who want to tell me how I should behave according to the standards of society. I want to make my own rules to live by for myself. I am done with living according to how it is supposed to be and I would dare anyone to trade places with me if they think I am taking the easy way out.
I do have to say, that a bonus is that I am not looking for romantic love and companionship. Any relationship I have with anyone at all is strictly platonic and that sure takes any sort of complication out of it. I find that to be a great comfort. Besides, I like my freedom too much to be part of a unit.
1 comment:
Oh, my goodness, Irene! You can be delightfully funny if you choose.
I was effectively forced into early retirement too, because of some very vicious experiences I had. Now, I'm better, but I've become so accustomed to this style of living, that I don't want to go back to work. Besides, I'll be 70 next year, and I prefer a more "relaxed" approach to life. For the last month my life has included a couple of dogs, which have brought good experience.
I do know how exhausting life can be. Having to reach up in order to touch bottom. Medications can be of some help, but are not the ultimate cure. And maybe some of us were never meant to be "sane," whatever that really is.
Blessings and Bear hugs!
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