Sunday, June 09, 2013

Yes, a mistake like that also happens...

I made the awful mistake of going to bed early and waking up two hours later as if I had only gone to sleep to take a nap. I was sure as heck wide awake and ready to tackle whatever came my way. That certainly hadn't been in the planning for the night and here I was, ready to party with no party to go to. I was ready to get dressed up in my finest outfit and that wouldn't have boggled my mind one bit. I even would have managed to put on some mascara.
Well, when you find yourself with the energy and the willingness to party, but you have none to go to, you have to find other ways to amuse yourself, and believe me, I have found myself in this circumstance more times than I am willing to remember, but before this stage in my life, I have never been single long enough to participate in the more carefree and/or in depth aspects of being an unmarried woman.
It's very possible that this makes me want to walk to the sound of a different drummer, and as I develop more into this single, unattached person, I become more clearly defined and less predictable and conventional. I even surprise myself by leaps and bounds and never know what twists and turns of fate that influence my mind and opinions lie around the next bend in the road. Whenever I fear stagnation, I suddenly move ahead of myself faster than I could have anticipated.
What I find out is, that I am a one woman evolutionary project, but along the way, I never try to covert anyone to my points of view or way of life. That's because everything happens so quickly, that I can hardly keep up with it myself, and besides, I don't have the zeal or desire to convert anyone. I am happy enough that I am changing so much myself and I actually like the woman I am turning into.
It is very nice when you don't live with someone else all the time who influences your mind and opinions and who you constantly have to adapt to and make allowances for. Subconsciously, when you are part of a twosome, you are always making concessions and not going full out for your own convictions. At least, that has been my experience in both my marriages. Thank goodness that I have enough time left now to make up my own mind.
Mistakes happens, but you get the opportunity in life to learn from them and choose a different path all the time. That never stops.  

1 comment:

Grit said...

you are a wise woman, irene, and you have shown me a way forward on more than one occasion, for which i remain grateful, to you and your blog! xx