By making a move that I did not carefully think about ahead of time, I have reinjured my knee so badly, that I had to go to the emergency room this evening. I was totally crippled and could not really move around on crutches and had to be helped into a wheelchair when my ex and I got there. I got a shot of Novocain in my knee to try to get rid of the worst pain, but it did not help and I could not relax my knee enough to have it examined well. It was established again that I have a torn meniscus and it was again rewrapped in a tight pressure bandage that feels amazingly good.
I am to make an appointment at the orthopedic clinic again on Monday and start the process all over again, as if I have a lot of faith in that. The waiting list for a MRI scan is long. I hope I do not get the same incompetent doctor that I had the last time who told me that I had a contusion and a hemorrhage. It is so clearly not that. I am getting a bit frustrated.
I am having several drinks to make me feel better and to get over the 'trauma' of the event. I feel that I totally need to relax before I go to bed, which is not going to be a comfortable experience. I also had salty, crisp chips with balsamic vinegar and guacamole sauce and it pleased me very much. It made my stomach happy and my whole soul. I think I need to treat myself especially good right now. My ex helps me do so willingly, but I don't want to take advantage of the situation and start functioning independently as soon as possible. I will get off those crutches as soon as I can.
The drinks make me very mellow and a nice person to be around with. Not that I am normally not, but they do get me ready to go to sleep and generally agreeable. I think everybody needs an emotional crutch like that and I am glad I discovered that I am able to deal with it and that I can handle it as long as I don't overdo it. It is not my intention to become an alcohol abuser and I think a drink works better than a tranquilizer. Especially when your knee is hurting like hell.