I haven't been feeling upbeat and that is why I haven't written any blog posts lately. I am mildly depressed and have been suffering from headaches, although I think I know the reason for them now. I think I even know the reason why I am mildly depressed, but I am going to discuss that with my therapist on Thursday. It is not something I can talk about here, because it is of a very personal nature and does not involve only me.
I think the headaches were due to the fact that I ate so many peanut butter sandwiches, and I think I may have an allergy to peanuts. I stopped eating those sandwiches yesterday and for the first time woke up without a headache just now. It's possible that I overdosed on them and I've had strawberry jam on my sandwiches since then. I think that agrees with me better and I like the taste of it too.
I am, as usual, sitting up in the middle of the night, and for a change can think pretty straight, which is something I have not been able to do for the last four days or so. Or should I say, nights? I would like to feel some joy again like I usually do an maybe, if I sit here and write for awhile, it will come back to me. Not having been able to write at all has been a real reflection of my feelings, so maybe this is the start to feeling better.
One thing I have not neglected to do, despite not feeling upbeat, is make dinner for myself every night, and you'd think that would be one thing that would fall by the wayside. It has evolved to the point though, that dinner has become such an important event, that I look forward to it all day and, although I postpone it as long as possible, I can't wait for the moment when it is time to start cooking it.
I don't fix very complicated dishes, but I do make sure I get all my nutrients, especially my proteins, and I eat a lot of mushrooms three times a week. I like the meat replacements and I eat them twice a week and I eat legumes too twice a week and, of course, lots of applesauce. I eat a lot of pasta, but want to switch to the whole grain kind and I have to see if the supermarket carries it. As I understand it, it is a bit more expensive, but it will be worth it nutritionally. I do eat whole grain bread after all.
It is time to go back to bed, because I am starting to yawn. The night is not nearly over yet and there is lots of sleeping left to do.