Because of my extreme dissatisfaction and boredom with my present situation, I am reaching for my daily cocktails a bit earlier in the day than usual, and today is Sunday and I deemed that a day that it is allowable to get in a more mellow mood sooner in the day. I have nothing on my schedule but to sit here and take the weight off my knee and that is not a very exciting way to spend my time.
Another nice way to do it, would be to eat much evil food and my ex has just gone to the supermarket to supply us with it. He asked me if I wanted anything special and I told him to let his imagination run wild. He is a connoisseur of the good life and always comes back with something absolutely decadent and I am sure he will not let me down now. He enjoys it himself too much also.
I think I may become a total lush while he is here and find my salvation in drink and food and have not a care in the world. That will be like my vacation for this summer and I did need one of them badly. It's the next best thing to hanging out on a Caribbean beach and sipping cocktails from half a coconut shell with a paper umbrella. I can hear the gentle waves lap on the sands now and feel the gentle sea breeze. All I need, is a tan to show for it.
It is ever so nice to give yourself over to absolute relaxation and to feel that you do not have a care in the world, come hell or high water. To be in an oblivious mood of "I do not give a damn." I am glad that have the opportunity to feel this way under the safe guidance of my ex, who is a totally mellow and relaxed person himself. Even the animals are in a very easy going state of mind and we do this day justice, being a day of rest and not one to get excited about.
I am surprised at myself that I give myself over so easily to this and all I can think is that I must feel awfully safe or I would not do it. I guess it 's the experience of the familiar that makes it so. I find myself in a very Californian state of mind, which means that I know when there's a time to get excited and when there's a time to relax. There's no need to be in a constant uptight state of mind. It's okay to totally disregard your responsibilities sometimes and leave them lying by the wayside for a while. Nothing bad is going to happen if you do.
My ex just came back with a cornucopia of delicious things and I have to help him put them away, so of I go.