One of the changes in my life is that I have stopped drinking completely. This drinking episode of mine only lasted for a short time when you realize that I lived for a long time without drinking hardly any alcohol, but I certainly was imbibing heavily and enjoying it a lot. I knew it couldn't last, because it was not the healthy and sensible thing to do, and besides, it was an expensive habit and I really could not afford it.
I saw my therapist and my psychiatrist yesterday and very honestly told them about what I was doing. It was the first time that I made my drinking behavior public, that I came out of the closet, sort to say. My psychiatrist told me that I was already psychologically dependent on alcohol and close to becoming physically dependent on it also. And of course, that it was a bad idea to drink in combination with the medicines I take.
I made a follow up appointment with my therapist and I promised I would try to cut back, but when I came home, I decided to quit altogether, because it was really foolishness to continue drinking and artificially create the opportunity for my happy child to come out and play. I knew I could do that differently and that I was wise and smart enough to give another method a try.
In the end, it has all been fairly easy and there is enough room for my sensible grown up and my happy child to live comfortably side by side. I really am not a basket case and have lots of things going for me. A little bit of positive psychology and some self awareness does wonders. I know I can count on myself and that I will not let myself down when it is necessary that something important needs to get done.
The other change is that I have started cutting back on my tranquilizers and sleeping pills. I was supposed to be taking them temporarily only anyway. They were never meant for the long run. The sleeping pill doesn't really help me sleep, so I may as well get off it. I have cut the dose down by half and when I get the okay from my psychiatrist, I will quit it completely.
I have also reduced the dose of tranquilizers I take, and now only take the lowest one once every 12 hours. This is working out well, and as a matter of fact, the one in the morning makes me feel just a bit groggy and that will be the first one I stop taking next. I started this a few days ago and have no withdrawal problems as yet.
I really can't complain about my life. It is just fine and I guess I can consider myself lucky.