Thursday, July 04, 2013

You're never too old to change.

One of the changes in my life is that I have stopped drinking completely. This drinking episode of mine only lasted for a short time when you realize that I lived for a long time without drinking hardly any alcohol, but I certainly was imbibing heavily and enjoying it a lot. I knew it couldn't last, because it was not the healthy and sensible thing to do, and besides, it was an expensive habit and I really could not afford it.
I saw my therapist and my psychiatrist yesterday and very honestly told them about what I was doing. It was the first time that I made my drinking behavior public, that I came out of the closet, sort to say. My psychiatrist told me that I was already psychologically dependent on alcohol and close to becoming physically dependent on it also. And of course, that it was a bad idea to drink in combination with the medicines I take.
I made a follow up appointment with my therapist and I promised I would try to cut back, but when I came home, I decided to quit altogether, because it was really foolishness to continue drinking and artificially create the opportunity for my happy child to come out and play. I knew I could do that differently and that I was wise and smart enough to give another method a try.
In the end, it has all been fairly easy and there is enough room for my sensible grown up and my happy child to live comfortably side by side. I really am not a basket case and have lots of things going for me. A little bit of positive psychology and some self awareness does wonders. I know I can count on myself and that I will not let myself down when it is necessary that something important needs to get done.
The other change is that I have started cutting back on my tranquilizers and sleeping pills. I was supposed to be taking them temporarily only anyway. They were never meant for the long run. The sleeping pill doesn't really help me sleep, so I may as well get off it. I have cut the dose down by half and when I get the okay from my psychiatrist, I will quit it completely.
I have also reduced the dose of tranquilizers I take, and now only take the lowest one once every 12 hours. This is working out well, and as a matter of fact, the one in the morning makes me feel just a bit groggy and that will be the first one I stop taking next. I started this a few days ago and have no withdrawal problems as yet.
I really can't complain about my life. It is just fine and I guess I can consider myself lucky.   


Wisewebwoman said...

Good for you for coming "clean" and good luck with it all, emerging into truth and light.


Gail said...

And may the wonderful results continue.

Bernie said...

Smart move my friend, have to say I was a bit concerned. So happy that you realized that drinking wasn't really a good idea.
Sending you big hugs always, xo

Anonymous said...

Good luck paring down the sleep meds!
My MIL cut back her drinking and lost a bunch of weight in the process. That liquor habit--esp. at night--can really sneak up on you.