Saturday, February 01, 2014

It's very fine indeed...

Although I should really take an afternoon nap, I will try to write an amusing blog post instead because the cups of coffee I am drinking should keep me awake enough in order for me to do so. I don't know if that also means I will have a sense of humor, but I will try to add that at least once in a while unless I get too caught up in my own seriousness. Someone ought to be present here besides me and shake me out of it every so often. You know how I have the tendency to get bogged down in deep thoughts. Maybe if I drink enough coffee, I will dislodge some of the wiring in my brain and automatically get funnier as a result. Well, I can always wish.
It's too bad that I am yawning so much, but I just poured myself another cup of coffee and maybe it will revive me. I did have to turn off the radio because I was becoming terribly distracted by the program that I was trying not to listen to on the PBS station. I have been listening to the radio all day and have gotten smarter about things than if I had sat and watched television and I can watch the cultural programs that I missed this morning on the internet later. It's very nice when you can watch them at a time that's convenient for you and pick and choose the ones you want to watch next in the order you like.
Instead of being immediately distracted by the television when I get up, I sit in silence in my armchair alone with my thoughts while I return to the human condition. I wait that little time for the coffee to get done and then drink my cup of it in the serenity of the early morning light that comes in through the living room windows. It is the kindest way to start the day and I am not afraid of my own thoughts now that I am not depressed anymore. At this point, my thoughts in the early morning are fairly neutral and hardly of any importance and they are certainly not about matters of life or death. I wait for the moment that I know I am ready to take Tyke for a walk.
I am more than wide awake now because the caffeine has done its job. I am no longer slumping in my desk chair and about to keel over and fall asleep. I have gotten used to who I am on this dose of anti-depressants since my psychiatrist told me that we were not going to increase it. I have decided that I am not so much dull, as contemplative and serene, and as far as I am concerned, there is nothing wrong with that. The fact is, that my mind is at peace and that I am functioning very well, but most importantly, that I don't feel that I am under the influence of chemical substances like I often did. It seems to me that this is a win-win situation.
I must go now and watch the cultural programs and get that need met. It will be a satisfying thing to do for the rest of the afternoon until it is time to take Tyke for a walk again.

1 comment:

Rob-bear said...

I doubt that coffee will help you with an afternoon nap. May make you just a bit edgy or shaky.

Sitting first thing in the morning, until your mind composes itself, is a very civilized way to get started on a new day. Well done, Irene!

And you have discovered that you're "not so much dull, as contemplative and serene." Wonderful. Those are words I would use to describe you.

Blessings and Bear hugs!