When I came back after having taken Tyke for a walk after dinner, I was simply floored and couldn't wait to go to sleep. I realized that a week of intense friendship with a manic person had taken a toll on me and that I needed to recuperate. Exhaustion is a sign not to be ignored and I will have to pay attention to it this coming week when I continue in my role as good friend and confident. I must not give away too much of myself and remember to save enough energy for me.
I also realized that I should not have increased my antidepressives, even if it was by such a small amount, and I am going to stop that starting tomorrow. I see now that the way I was before the increase, I was better able to cope with whatever life had in store for me because I was much more stable. In fact, I was as solid as a rock and there is a lot to be said for that. I may have been a bit boring, but at least I was dependable.
Maybe that is what my role is in life. To be a dependable friend. Someone other people can count on, but having said that, someone I can count on myself too. I knew there was a lesson to be learned in all of this. I just didn't know yet what it was, but here it is. I have a feeling that it is not the only one either. I am sure there are several others that are worth my while. Everybody is a teacher, after all, and I am sure that my manic friend is also.
This goes to prove yet again that there is always a reason why things happen and that it seems that fate determines them.